Ex Husband is Intolerable!!!!(VENTING)

[tigger2two]

What is the name of your state?NC

As most of you know i finsihed up custody last month. I got the court order last week. My ex husband and his parents are ordered to pick up and drop off the kids on their visitation times. My ex asked me to change the times (which the judge said we could do through email so he could read that we agreed) from 6 to 3 and to take responsibility for picking the kids up on sundays so his parents wouldn't have to drive!! So i offered to change the times for HIM when he actually comes to visit. And to do the dropping off on fridays bc i can't on sundays. So he got a pissed bc i wouldn't let his parents have MY time but would let him bc he was their father. So then he tells me that i'm uncoperative. GET REAL! IS HE SERIOUS! Does anyone else see me as being hard to get along with. I tried to comprimise with him but he only wants me to do this on his terms and his terms alone. His reasoning for wanting me to help with pick up and drop off was bc he has to drive 4-5 hours to get here. So the logical thing to do was bring them to him on fridays so he didn't have to drive an additional 30 minutes to and from my house. He doesn't even bring them home on sundays bc he leaves first thing sun morn, so he wouldn't need my help on sun bc his parents have no reason why they can't do it. He says they are getting to old. I said well then maybe you shouldn't make them take your visitation since they are so old. I have 3 boys for gods sakes. If they can't handle a 30 minute drive how are they going to handle 3 boys 9,8 and 6??? GRRRRRR sorry just had to get it out LOL!!!

 

[adonahee]

What is the name of your state?NC

My ex husband and his parents are ordered to pick up and drop off the kids on their visitation times.QUOTE]

I just had to reply to you that this line CRACKS ME UP !!
"Their" visitation time ! They must be too much for him, too!

 

[Kevmar44]

Ex huband is Intolerable

Here, let me vent with you! Our ex's could be brothers! Does your ex have a b***h for a wife too? Two years ago my ex all of the sudden (thanks to his new freak of a wife) decided that the pick up/drop off schedule we had - I picked up when it was my time & he picked up when it was his - wasn't going to happen anymore and that despite the fact I was residential parent I was going to provide ALL the transportation. And here's the kicker...it was never the same place at the same time from week to week! They would call me & tell me when & where! And if I refused he just wouldn't come out and get him! As a matter of fact he didn't see his son the entire summer bc he refused to drive out to our house & pick him up! And when we went to court he STILL got shared parenting! I got my son for the school year bc my ex told him 2 little jems of wisdom...#1 Well son, I didn't do very well in school, so you probably won't either! And #2 It's not MY job to help you with your homework! (my son was in the 6th grade). All these people out there want to tell me my son NEEDS to have a relationship with his dad but his dad came right out & told him if he had to chose between him & his new wife he would pick his new wife! And trust me when the new wife says my son goes, he will be gone! SO WHY DOES MY SON NEED A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T REALLY WANT HIM???

 

[tigger2two]

I just had to reply to you that this line CRACKS ME UP !!

He is military and i refur to it as their visitation bc when my ex can't or frankly just doesn't want to come up here his parents are allowed to exercise his visitation rights. Now the judge allowed this even after the grand parents had been proven to be abusive disciplinarians.(or however that is spelled LOL). This weekend is his first tech, weekend visitation since the order was put in place and guess what?? He isn't using it his parents are. Which was a big part of our argueement today. And in this argueement he actually told me that he didn't care what his command said, but he wasn't paying me CS for july. He says this bc he had the kids with him for visitation the month of July. I have been trying to tell him for years that no matter weather the kids are with him for a day in the summer or for the entire summer, he still has to pay his support. He still says im full of Chit even though i have a CO backing me up now. GO FIGURE!!! what a dumb azz. But no my ex isn't the greatest at handling the kids either. lol

 

[Kevmar44]

Ex husband is intolerable

Your ex works for Uncle Sam...it's not like he has an option to pay or not to pay CS!! It should be taken straight out of his pay, but even if it's not it's not like it won't go on the record as a non-payment of support and that will just start to add up as back support!! How old are his parents? If they are as old as he makes them sound maybe it's something you won't have to deal with for much longer. And he sounds like if they don't get the kids on his (their) visitation that he won't take it upon himself very often to do it! Too bad I can't get my ex to be that way!

 

[tigger2two]

oh he makes sure that if he isn't chosing to come up here that his parents get them.

I called his command last week and the assured me i would have a check this week. Well week has came and gone and no check. He told me "yea they talked to me and yea they are taking it from my check now. But no im not paying july." The thing is as long as he makes a payment every two weeks through the military he will never actually get a full 30 days behind on July. So i told him that was fine bc he already had a ton of back support owed and I would just get it at the beginning of the year. He said "you can't touch my income taxes." I said your right i can't but according to CSEnforcement they can and they will. He got pissed and hung up on me!

 

[tigger2two]

sorry his mom is 65 his dad 67!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I take it you will be faxing his commander on Monday?

 

[tigger2two]

I called again today right after i got off the phone with him. They say the same thing he does. As long as he doesn't get 30 full days past due they can't inforce anything. But as soon as he gets over 30 days past due then they will enforce it. DUH if hes isn't paying july and they are now deducting it from his pay. He will never get 30 days past due, so they are pretty much telling me that hes getting a free ticket for july. At least until tax time. I don't understand what happened since last week. His commander was so adamint last week and today it was almost as if he was stone walling me for some reason. I'm so dam tired of fighting it. I give up if the state wants to finally get around to prosecuting him then so be it. If not ill get it in jan from taxes. I give up im tired of stressing about it. If he don't want to support his kids thats his loss. I don't need his money anyway its just the principle at this point.

 

[snostar]

Tig22 - your situation is sooooo similar to mine it is erie. Ex in CG, relocation, grandparents! The CO probably talked to the father and that changed his manner.

 

[tigger2two]

who knows! All i know is the last thing my ex said to me was...well i guess i will see you in court bc im not paying the COd CS for july bc the boys were with me!! LOL>>> so i said ok i will see you there.

 

[snostar]

My ex's CO said the only way they would force him to comply with orders is if he was found in contempt (by a judge) - now that did not apply to
CS, but the CG will not be happy if he is found in contempt.

 

[tigger2two]

yea i know but you can't tell this man anything. He thinks that bc he has them for a month in the summer that his support is just going to stop being garnished just bc they are with him. I have tried telling him for years that he is supposed to pay his support even during the summer. And he still swears he can get the CG to stop his garnishment during july. I said well i can't wait to see how your going to pull that off every year LOL. Hes stubborn and pissed bc he was getting by with paying 500 a month for 3 kids for the last 3 years. I told him all along that wasn't even half of what he was supposed to pay. Well he kept on making payments late or not at all when ever it was convienent to him so i took him to court. It is now COd and he hates it bc he can't just pay when ever he wants. He hated it so much he took me to court for custody to keep from paying it at all. Which obviously he lost that battle too. He told me I CAN"T AFFORD IT. I said well how was you going to raise them if you would have got custody if you can't afford to pay support. Makes me wanna scream. Rediculous is what it is. He wants to call all the shots and make no attempts to foot any of the bullets LOL!!!

 

[stealth2]

I don't give a flying **** about the support, so I skipped the posts that were about that. But you agreed to changing the p/u and d/o times, right? The judge allowed his parents to use his time when he can't. Deal with it.

 

[tigger2two]

No we never agreed on anything. He said i was being uncooperative and ended up hanging up on me. And the judge situplated that we can agree through email on any changes, and that they didn't have to reflect extra time with his parents. The judge said that because my attorney was fighting the fact that his parents had been found neglect/abuseive with DSS. And they never petitioned for grandparental rights. So the judge made sure to address the issue of me giving my ex extra time (which i said i would bc he is military and can take leave) but that i didn't have to accomidate his parents. His parents are to go strickly by the court order unless I CHOSE to give them extra time. So i don't have to deal with it. I after that phone call i spoke with my attorney who told me not to try and work with him on anymore changes and to stick straight to the court order to avoid anymore confusion or conflicts. But thanks anyway stealth.(why the hostility anyway??)