ex parte order

[sugarj]

What is the name of your state? NC

See "modification of visitation" for background.
Since I was unable to get a consultation with an attorney before my winter break visitation began, I took the advice given and did not sign a 'voluntary agreement' that was written by my ex's attorney. I did call his attorneys office though but he was gone until after Christmas and they wouldn't/couldn't send me a copy of the 'agreement'. Ex filed for ex parte for custody and it was granted. I do have limited visitation. My question(s): Even though I will be consulting with an attorney before my hearing on the ex parte, I want to try to prepare myself for this hearing. Can anyone tell me what happens at this type of hearing, what type of documentation will be needed if necessary, etc...? Is it customary for someone to hand write something in on the court order??

Also, my daughter will be talking with a forensic psychologist before the hearing. Can anyone tell me what exactly will happen during her evaluation, will anyone other than my daughter be asked any questions?

When the stepmom called to tell me about the orders she also informed me that she and my ex will be questioning the kids about what we talk about. I have never confided in my kids about what happens between me and their dad all the same I have arranged for someone to be with me and the kids during the visitation (family members).

I ask all of this trying to prepare myself for this hearing. Also, just in case I am unable to come up with the fee that my attorney will charge for this. I have contacted the pro bono project and legal aid but have been turned down because of the residency issue. I have contacted casa, they are going to try to come up with something to help me despite the residency issue. Is there another source that I have failed to look at? If I do wind up doing this by myself (pray to God not), can I get a copy of the supporting documents that the judge considered in granting this order?? Thanks all.

 

[stealth2]

Well.... you really need to gather all the evidence and documentation that supports your case. You will be asked to present your case as to why he should not get what he's asked for in his petition.

No, you should not present anything handwritten in terms of an argument/response. In fact, if it is not presented in the correct format that your particular court requires, it may not be accepted.

Yes, you should get a copy of anything he presents.

You really, really should do your best to find a way to pay for representation.

 

[styl4u64]

Hi, From N.C.

Why is a 'forensic psychologist' administered in this 'order'? Was this ordered by the judge in the ex parte and on what grounds? What 'documents/statements, answers' to the ex parte are you wanting to submit? In my case, certain documents including monies that are distributed for the child, including babysitting/daycare costs, signed documents are allowed and acknowledged by the judge.

 

[snostar]

Is it customary for someone to hand write something in on the court order??

It is not unheard of for a judge to cross out or add hand written terms to an ex parte order...instead of having it retyped.

Can anyone tell me what exactly will happen during her evaluation, will anyone other than my daughter be asked any questions?

www.deltabravo.net is an excellent resoucre for this type of information.

can I get a copy of the supporting documents that the judge considered in granting this order?

Supporting documents should have been included as exhibits referenced in the order.

 

[stealth2]

Is it customary for someone to hand write something in on the court order??

I totally misread this last night. As snostar said, yes, it's quite common.

 

[LdiJ]

Why is a 'forensic psychologist' administered in this 'order'? Was this ordered by the judge in the ex parte and on what grounds? What 'documents/statements, answers' to the ex parte are you wanting to submit? In my case, certain documents including monies that are distributed for the child, including babysitting/daycare costs, signed documents are allowed and acknowledged by the judge.

"forensic psychologist" in some states is the same thing as a "custody evaluator" in other states. Don't let that term confuse you.

 

[styl4u64]

That term sounded 'scary'! Thank you

 

[casa]

That term sounded 'scary'! Thank you

In my state (CA) a forensic investigator is one kind of custody evaluator. (There can be Ph.D., Social Workers, Court mediators etc. etc.) Forensics basically addresses issues of psychological pathology (Do a search online for exact definitions)

If you are a fit parent, you have nothing to worry about. IMO Show up at all appointments, be honest and be able to provide any/all documention that supports your case.

 

[BL]

Also, my daughter will be talking with a forensic psychologist before the hearing. Can anyone tell me what exactly will happen during her evaluation, will anyone other than my daughter be asked any questions?

This is what happened when I went with my girlfriend in NY , when the other side motioned for a forensic psychologist evaluations , solely to determine the issue of visitations for her son with his father in prison.

We have lived together and I have helped raise her son since he was about 12 -18 months old . I was familiar with her and him since 6 months old .

The psychologist had us come into his office while her son stayed in the waiting room . There was an employee/receptionist near by.

He first ask us to tell him what's going on in our own words .

He then had us go back out to the waiting area , and had her son go in to talk to him.
He was about 8 or 9 years old then .

He then submitted his report to the Court . He did not personally testify .

 

[stealth2]

That was similar to my experience, BL (also in NY). The only difference is the evaluator came out to the house(s) to speak with the kids and also to observe our interaction. When she wanted to speak with the kids, I took the dog for a walk out back.

And doncha know, that was the day one of them decided to have a meltdown? Which, in retrospect, wasn't a bad thing as she got to see how I handled that type of situation (and since I'm not generally a screamer - tho I've been known to lose it - it was obvious that my reaction was the normal way I handled it).

 

[BL]

That was similar to my experience, BL (also in NY). The only difference is the evaluator came out to the house(s) to speak with the kids and also to observe our interaction. When she wanted to speak with the kids, I took the dog for a walk out back.

And doncha know, that was the day one of them decided to have a meltdown? Which, in retrospect, wasn't a bad thing as she got to see how I handled that type of situation (and since I'm not generally a screamer - tho I've been known to lose it - it was obvious that my reaction was the normal way I handled it).

Lol I'm trying to invision that one . LOL

No not a screamer

 

[styl4u64]

Wow stealth, that is very difficult, the invasive nature of having an observor in your every day world would be so hard. I am thinking with my ongoing situation that this will happen to me as well. Why does this happen, and is allowed to happen to 'every day families'. Is it because the CP requests this in order to remain the CP and the opposing party decides they want to become the CP or is it usually something that happens with the CP that seems/becomes subject and the NCP requests it or both? Thank you, I have been wondering about this as I've been reading and studying these situations

 

[stealth2]

It was just the way this particular evaluator did things. And I DO think it's a positive thing. She got to see how we live and the kids were comfortable in their own environment (which was much less disturbing to them than going to some office and talking about Mom & Dad). I think it's much preferable, personally. She was only there for an hour or so, so it's not like she was living with us for days.

 

[sugarj]

Thank you all for your input. I have not been contacted by the psychologist. It seems though that the appointment was made before the ex parte order was sent for review by a judge. Totally against what the SM said. I did however get some supporting information (my 9 year olds affidavit). I truely do not know how to refute some of this. It's all a he said/she said situation. I know that a good portion of the things that are being said did NOT happen but it winds up being my word against my daughters. What a horrible situation. I have never wanted my children to become the pawn in this mess but now, if I say "no, this didn't happen" then how in the world will this make my daughter feel?? "mommy says that i'm a liar". My God, how can anyone ever do this to a child?? I did just get back from visiting with them for Christmas!! My son kept asking me why I didn't want them with me, why I have sent emails to his "mom" (sm) saying this and making her cry, why didn't I just sign the paperwork in the first place and told me that I had hurt his dad and now he's hurting you. All from a six year old. My daughter asked why I never saw her for three years. I wound up telling her all of the things that we couldn't have done together if I hadnt seen her in three years. I am truely at my wits end. How can I combat this without making her feel that I dont believe her???

 

[sugarj]

Sorry, I was rereading the posts. OK, so what everyone is saying is that if this is actually a court ordered psychologist, then I should also be asked questions before the report is turned into the court. However, if this is just a psychologist that they are taking my daughter to in order to discuss these issues, then I may not be asked anything? Again, thanks all for your input. It seems that this is a fairly common situation which in a way gives me hope.