Ex says "You will pay!"

[Shorelinedad]

MA

in MA and just divorced. Have support order and ex is listing things like winter coats, school activities, driver's Ed. expenses, school picture fees as extras she wants me to pay half of. I think some of this may be covered under support. I love my kids and have provided support without order for a year of separation....so it's not like I'm not willing to do my part. Just what is covered under support?
Thanks. New here.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Tell the ex to POUND SAND!

 

[Shorelinedad]

wish it was that easy....

Tell the ex to POUND SAND!

Massachusetts...

I know I have to cover for half non-reimbursed medical...but World revolves around ex so she wishes to be able to continue "lifestyle" the children were used to.....well, now I've got rent and my kids almost half the time, plus trying to start a new life as a better person and better father without her, something I should've done long ago. Any way she can go pound sand as far as I'm concerned, just wanna be covered.

 

[stepmom65]

Agree with BelizeBreeze!! she's a classic vindictive deadbeat mother....

 

[djohnson]

Agree with BelizeBreeze!! she's a classic vindictive deadbeat mother....

That may be true, but she can get half of some of those things. Extra curricular activities, school pictures, etc... would not necessarily be considered support. Support is actual living expenses like rent, food, and utilities. Ofcourse if she gets awarded that stuff, you can have a say in how many activities and such. She may be vindictive but half of many things are not uncommon.

 

[tigger22472]

That may be true, but she can get half of some of those things. Extra curricular activities, school pictures, etc... would not necessarily be considered support. Support is actual living expenses like rent, food, and utilities. Ofcourse if she gets awarded that stuff, you can have a say in how many activities and such. She may be vindictive but half of many things are not uncommon.

I'm going to agree a bit here. I don't think Mom can get him for half the school pictures as if dad wanted them he could order his own so he's not responsible for that. I know when I've had it rough a few years ago, school pictures were an expense I couldn't afford. She MIGHT get the activities but I'd say she'd more then likely get half the driver's education. As far as the DE she might be able to get that legally but also I think morally it would be right. That's a benefit to the child.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

That may be true, but she can get half of some of those things. Extra curricular activities, school pictures, etc... would not necessarily be considered support. Support is actual living expenses like rent, food, and utilities. Ofcourse if she gets awarded that stuff, you can have a say in how many activities and such. She may be vindictive but half of many things are not uncommon.

Sorry DJ, but the support order is already in place. This is the ex wife demands and NOT pursuant to the current order. She MAY be able to get them at a later date, but the court will not grant immediate review of the order.

 

[djohnson]

MA

in MA and just divorced. Have support order and ex is listing things like winter coats, school activities, driver's Ed. expenses, school picture fees as extras she wants me to pay half of. I think some of this may be covered under support. I love my kids and have provided support without order for a year of separation....so it's not like I'm not willing to do my part. Just what is covered under support?
Thanks. New here.

I take from this that the order does say he pay for half of the expenses and is worded liberally. Her list of things that is considered is what the problem is. Maybe OP needs to expand on what the order actually states now.

 

[Shorelinedad]

the only thing in the agreement besides the support order is the language that we will share extra-curricular activity fees and associated equipment fees only after consulting each other and we both agree.
I just get the impression she trying to take advantage.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

the only thing in the agreement besides the support order is the language that we will share extra-curricular activity fees and associated equipment fees only after consulting each other and we both agree.
I just get the impression she trying to take advantage.

That is NOT what the order states. If you want a legitimate opinion then post the EXACT language.

 

[Shorelinedad]

I will when I have it in hand.....at work now. Thanks though.

 

[stepmom65]

I think Shorelinedad needs to pay for half the her toilet paper, half her electricty, half her gas money to get her @ss to work, half her birthday and christmas gifts, half her pet food if any, half of her salon bill......WHEN DOES IT STOP!!!!!

My husband's ex has the same attitude. He pays for EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING...... she refuses to spend her CS on the kids and 3 months ago received a collagen treatment on her lips....and living off of welfare.....

 

[Shorelinedad]

for BB

Mass.

Exhibit C

Amount-
The language that describes what the amount is for support and how my freelance income will be accounted for.

Activities Fees-
It is the parties' desire for the children to enjoy the same lifestyle they enjoyed while the parties were married. To that end, the parties agree that the minor children should be afforded an opportunity to be involved in as many extra-curricular activities as possible such as sports, camp, tutors, field trip and other activities as long as those activities are financially feasable and do not interfere with their academic schedule. The parties agree to equally contribute toward any activities fees and equipment costs associated with the children's extra-curricular and sports activities, and further agree to discuss those activities and costs prior to committing to any such expenditures. In the event either party makes a commitment to any such expenditure prior to discussing the activity cost with the other, the party making the commitment will be solely responsible for the fee or cost incurred.

Emancipation- Discusses breakdown of aspects of emancipation.

That's the whole Exhibit C of our divorce order that covers support. That IS what the order states. And thank you all for your input. Again not looking to screw my kids, but just trying to make ends meet now with as little hassle as possible from ex.

 

[djohnson]

From that I gather any extra curricular activity you agree to let them do you will be responsible for half of what it costs. That is not limited to just the signup fees, but also the cleets, socks, uniform, bats, balls, gloves, pads, helmets, etc... If you agree to let them go to camp is where it may become a harder issue because camps often require things children already have and small items that may seem petty. All that other stuff she wants you to pay for would not fall under this category.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

MA

in MA and just divorced. Have support order and ex is listing things like winter coats, school activities, driver's Ed. expenses, school picture fees as extras she wants me to pay half of. I think some of this may be covered under support. I love my kids and have provided support without order for a year of separation....so it's not like I'm not willing to do my part. Just what is covered under support?
Thanks. New here.

After reading the above and the language in your agreement, it would seem that you agreed to most of those things except that they have to be discssed first, understanding that if you disagree and refuse to share the cost, your ex can take it to the judge so you would have all the additional costs associated with that. If the extra costs are appropriate, now if they suddenly are signed up for every sports, music, art, social program and the children are forced, that is a different story. Of the above expenses, only winter coats might fall under the category of child support, however ask yourself the question, would you want your children to go without a winter coat in your climate, and the cost of an appropriate winter coat? Not knowing how much child support you are paying now, it is possible although a winter coat might fall under child support, it's purchase might overburden the budget the month it is bought. Have you looked into sales or thrift stores? I know many professional people who shop in them and have bought brand new(tags) expensive designer clothes and coats for pennies on the dollar, it takes some work and patience but it might not look good to deny your children a winter coat, if they need it.