Ex's girlfriend picking up

[wileybunch]

Excellent advice, Silverplum. Spot on.
maryjo, you'll have to keep details to a minimum with your parents so you don't have to deal with the push back from them because you can't triangulate your co-parenting relationship with them as a party to it, it's just not going to be productive, at a minimum. You can remind them that you won't necessarily each always agree with what the other does 100%, but that you're both her parents and just need to remember we're not married any more so don't have the right to dictate parenting decisions that are all within the others' rights to make blah blah blah.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

oh, thanks, NOW EVERYONE KNOWS

Don't fear Fair, as I have been outed as a sad old gay person.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=395644

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Excellent advice, Silverplum. Spot on.
maryjo, you'll have to keep details to a minimum with your parents so you don't have to deal with the push back from them because you can't triangulate your co-parenting relationship with them as a party to it, it's just not going to be productive, at a minimum. You can remind them that you won't necessarily each always agree with what the other does 100%, but that you're both her parents and just need to remember we're not married any more so don't have the right to dictate parenting decisions that are all within the others' rights to make blah blah blah.

Fabulous advice as well as SP's.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

I tole you I quit.

I started when I turned Gay, Sad, and old. Yoohoo! Where is my Rico?

 

[LdiJ]

I think because we live with them, they think they have the right to run my divorce. Then again, they thought they had the right to run my marriage too. LOL! Overbearing mothers seem to run in my family. LOL! It just REALLY bothers my mother, because she HATES my ex, that he still has rights to his son. She got "lucky" with an ex who gave up rights to their child. My dad gave up right to his kids after his first marriage ended. He didnt have much choice. The mother refuse to let him see them and told them he was dead. It was another time. There wasnt anything he could do. Neither one of them had to deal with any of this stuff. They are pretty much of the mind set that the mother has all the legal rights. I tell them the stuff I learn here, they dont believe me.

I dont have any issues with it. Not now anway. Not until I have a REASON to be concerned. I know my ex isnt perfect...who is? But he isnt a bad father. We dont agree on everything when it comes to certain things, but what parents really do? My son wants his father in his life, his father wants to be in his life. I dont have any problems with that at all. It makes me sad when my ex calls and says he cant take him. Like this is his year for Spring Break but he told me today he probably wont be able to take him now that he has two jobs. I guess his girlfriend doesnt want to be a mother again since her two are already grown. LOL!

I am all for co-parenting. Its my son I am concerned about. I have been accused of wanting to make my ex happy because I dont fight him tooth and nail on every litle thing. It has nothing to do with my ex. I have NO feelings left for him at all! I just want things to be as normal and peaceful for my son...and myself...as possible.

You have a really good attitude about things....I encourage you to keep it up.

Your parents come from a different era, and that does impact their attitudes about things. YOU are also THEIR baby, so that colors their attitude as well.

My parents are really great people but they honestly weren't prepared to be "friends" when my ex and I split up. Or rather, I should say that my dad wasn't. However, I put my foot down with them about things, and they came around to my way of thinking.

Very calmly let your parents understand that you are doing what you feel is best for your child....AND for yourself legally as well. Even encourage them to do some research themselves to see about what is best for children and what is legal reality today. If you are firm in your decisions they will eventually come around.

 

[maryjo]

Excellent advice, Silverplum. Spot on.
maryjo, you'll have to keep details to a minimum with your parents so you don't have to deal with the push back from them because you can't triangulate your co-parenting relationship with them as a party to it, it's just not going to be productive, at a minimum. You can remind them that you won't necessarily each always agree with what the other does 100%, but that you're both her parents and just need to remember we're not married any more so don't have the right to dictate parenting decisions that are all within the others' rights to make blah blah blah.

Yeah. You are right. I try to just keep things to myself these days. It gets rough. Sometimes one of them will want to plan something on my ex's time and they are like "Just call him and tell him he isnt coming." Sorry...it doesnt work like that. Frankly, we are ALL suprised that my ex still has anything to do with our son. We figured he would have gotten bored with it all by now. But he hasnt and I personally think thats a good thing.

You have a really good attitude about things....I encourage you to keep it up.

Your parents come from a different era, and that does impact their attitudes about things. YOU are also THEIR baby, so that colors their attitude as well.

My parents are really great people but they honestly weren't prepared to be "friends" when my ex and I split up. Or rather, I should say that my dad wasn't. However, I put my foot down with them about things, and they came around to my way of thinking.

Very calmly let your parents understand that you are doing what you feel is best for your child....AND for yourself legally as well. Even encourage them to do some research themselves to see about what is best for children and what is legal reality today. If you are firm in your decisions they will eventually come around.

I try to have a good attitude. I dont ALWAYS. LOL! But I try to keep stress to a minimum. I dont HAVE to fight with my ex anymore and I wont do it. It starts to get to me when I am accused of putting my ex before my son. They dont see that I AM putting my son first by choosing not to nitpick over everything with my ex, and giving him his time and space that is his right as his father without causing strife over it. I dont want to be my ex's friend or anything else. But I do respect him as our son's father and I hope he can do the same for me.