Fair Schedule?

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Rushia, it can be like Odd years, dad gets New Years (cuz he had the back end of winter break), Memorial Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving. You get the other ones (except for the specific Mother's & Father's Days). The following years, you swap.

If you do it this way, I suggest calendars that are marked in blue and pink to see where there are kinks. Do it for a number of years.

 

[Rushia]

Just because its spelled out in the plan doesn't mean you can't do it differently. Mine includes the clause "unless parents otherwise agree" after everything.
Unfortunely agreeing my ex is like beating my head against a brick wall so if its not spelled out in black and white, I won't get it.

Feel free to look up my past posts, it'll give you more insight into my past relationship with my ex. We've been divorced since 2002 and it's been an easy relationship. He's gone off the "deep end" and I can't deal with his drama anymore. I want it spelled out so God and everyone knows it and he can't blame me anymore. Further, I do NOT want another gpv suit from his mother cause he's a big fat liar. Sorry to vent on you but that situation was horrible for me and the children and I don't want a repeat.

ETA in response to your ROFR clause. I don't mind if his mother watches them, just not for weeks on end when I am right around the corner. When he gets it thru his head that his wife is not coming back, I see him disappearing on his mom.

 

[Rushia]

Rushia, it can be like Odd years, dad gets New Years (cuz he had the back end of winter break), Memorial Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving. You get the other ones (except for the specific Mother's & Father's Days). The following years, you swap.

If you do it this way, I suggest calendars that are marked in blue and pink to see where there are kinks. Do it for a number of years.

If it were to go to court, do you see the judge splitting the break? I am home that week, every year. My company shuts down that week and it's a great time to spend with the kids (with the exception of them seeing their father for Christmas).

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Then fill it out with what you are currently doing. So, because you aren't working, you always get that week and dad always gets Spring Break. I was just throwing out suggestions.

 

[Monte86]

Feel free to look up my past posts, it'll give you more insight into my past relationship with my ex. We've been divorced since 2002 and it's been an easy relationship. He's gone off the "deep end" and I can't deal with his drama anymore. I want it spelled out so God and everyone knows it and he can't blame me anymore. Further, I do NOT want another gpv suit from his mother cause he's a big fat liar. Sorry to vent on you but that situation was horrible for me and the children and I don't want a repeat.

I read a little about gpv suit. Sounds like a horrible experience.
And I understand about spelling things out. Got a similar stitution here myself. Unfortunely, I'm learning when people want to be difficult no matter how much you spell it out they will find a way around it! My parenting plan would be 300 pages long if I had to spell everything out that seems required.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Which is why a picture (calendar) is worth a 1000 words. I had ours done in colors to keep it straight.

 

[Rushia]

Then fill it out with what you are currently doing. So, because you aren't working, you always get that week and dad always gets Spring Break. I was just throwing out suggestions.

Oh please don't take what I say the wrong way! I'm loving the suggestions. I want to be fair to my ex and my kids.

 

[Rushia]

I read a little about gpv suit. Sounds like a horrible experience.
And I understand about spelling things out. Got a similar stitution here myself. Unfortunely, I'm learning when people want to be difficult no matter how much you spell it out they will find a way around it! My parenting plan would be 300 pages long if I had to spell everything out that seems required.

LOL, I just want a schedule to throw up there so he can't blame me anymore and attempt to get more sympathy.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

A schedule protects ALL the parties. Take what you want and throw away the rest. It's not MY schedule.

I'll be having all sorts of problems with mine this summer since the school board decided to shorten summer break by almost two weeks.

 

[Rushia]

Which is why a picture (calendar) is worth a 1000 words. I had ours done in colors to keep it straight.

LOL, I would have to get a planner so the kids wouldn't see it. I don't think he'll show up when he's supposed to. He's so wrapped up in trying to get his wife back that he won't bother. Little does he know that she and I are still friends. Part of the reason she left is because she's tired of the lack of time he spent with his family (including our children). She knows he's lying to her about me.

 

[Rushia]

A schedule protects ALL the parties. Take what you want and throw away the rest. It's not MY schedule.

I'll be having all sorts of problems with mine this summer since the school board decided to shorten summer break by almost two weeks.

That's exactly it. I want protection from another gpv suit. The second his mother believes him it's all over for me. I'll find myself in court AGAIN.

Why did they shorten the summer?

 

[Monte86]

LOL, I just want a schedule to throw up there so he can't blame me anymore and attempt to get more sympathy.

I would just draft up what you think is fair.
One thing my fiance did for me was go through and actually count the days we would get each year for holidays. One year someone will get more days but make it as even as possible.
Also think about the "type" of holiday when it comes to hours. My old parenting plan had parenting time from 9am-3pm on the Fourth of July. Makes no sense to me..no fireworks or picnics

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Rushia,

A couple of years ago, they passed a law that said school couldn't start any earlier than 2 weeks before Labor day. So, the ex got extra time that year. Well, because I live in a high performing county, they are allowing them to start earlier so that high school exams are before Christmas break. So, he won't care that he got extra time 3 years ago. he'll want the same amount of time. My decree says he gets half the summer. I have always given him extra. I'll just shorten my time, but he won't get the 6 weeks he would like.

 

[torimac]

Not sure how important it is to you, but you might also spell out the children's birthdays along with the holidays. It makes it easier to make plans for the kids' birthdays.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Do the adults want the children to help celebrate their birthday? Or are they adult enough to say that they'll celebrate when they have the time?