mistoffolees
Senior Member
Yes. The end is when you pay attention to the advice you've been given repeatedly.
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false accusations
- Thread starter ditzymiss
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Yes. The end is when you pay attention to the advice you've been given repeatedly.
The advice has been to lay low and do nothing and that's what i've been doing....the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results....i know from the last 14 years of her that no matter what we do, she will continue her tyraid...it's really sad for my grandkids to have to deal with her rantings...ashame emotional abuse isn't against the law
mistoffolees
Senior Member
The advice has been to lay low and do nothing and that's what i've been doing....the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results....i know from the last 14 years of her that no matter what we do, she will continue her tyraid...it's really sad for my grandkids to have to deal with her rantings...ashame emotional abuse isn't against the law
No, the advice was that your SON has to do something. He is the one with a legal position in this mess.
He's looked into what he can do....He can get a court order against her to cease interferring with his time and his decisions, however as we all know enforcing the order is another story and her violating a family court order will result in a hand smack....the courts just don't seem to want to hold parents accountable with some kind of "real" punishment....I'm just wondering for as much as we talk the talk about protecting children...as a whole the "system" does not! Protective services went to her house, found guns in reach of the children, didn't even check to see if they were loaded, just told stepdad to lock them up. Questioned the kids in their mothers home, of course they were scared...denied any abuse by the mom and stepdad. The question was posed to PS do kids have to get shot for something to be done, the answer was "pretty much".....WHAT KIND OF SYSTEM IS THIS?
mistoffolees
Senior Member
That is, of course, nonsense. If he cares enough to file for contempt every time she interferes with his visitation, she will get more than a hand slap. Maybe not the first time or second, but eventually.
Funny, I don't see a darned thing in your previous posts that had anything to do with protecting the children. All I see is a bitter, meddling grandmother who's worried about her reputation.
Funny how it took this long for the gun issue to come up.
In any event, it's an incident that CPS told them to take care of and they may have done so (you have no way of knowing one way or the other).
I have 3 questions:
1. If the kids are in such danger, why did CPS not find any evidence of it?
2. If the kids are in such danger, why did it take this long into the thread before you mentioned ANY danger to the kids?
3. What evidence do you have that the kids are in danger? CPS investigated and found one. The kids report that they're not in danger. So where's your evidence?
If you are a good and decent person and the allegations are patently false and made by a raving lunatic, then normal people will see them for what they are.
And if you're really that concerned about THAT then I might mention that you're missing the big picture.
CPS entered the home, found the guns within reach of the children and the officer should have checked to see if the guns were loaded and did not. a loaded gun within the reach of children is a criminal offense. the children complained of being hurt by stepfather and i'm assuming that bc they were questioned at their mother's residence, were scared and denied it, i have seen this with my own eyes. What people think of me generally doesn't matter, however, having someone spread a rumor that i am a child molester, kind of tweeks me and what those rumors should they get back to my grandchildren do to them is of concern to me. I found all this out while thousands of miles away and dealing with the death of my sister, i apologize if some info was originally omitted, my head is somewhat congested at present. I have had dealings with the family court in the past and been told that violating a family court order brings no punishment, other than a court appearance and reprimand from the judge. If this is how CPS deals with protecting kids why would family court be any different...really it's hard to believe. I am not generally a meddling grandmother, however, these allegations she is making ARE about me and ARE effecting my relationship with my grandkids, so I kind of think that IS my business. Really I'm not bitter, I'm just tired of dealing with this lunitic for 14 years and all the crazy things she has done to my family during that time...it's getting old.
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mistoffolees
Senior Member
You're becoming less credible with each passing moment.
Aside from the fact that the guns didn't come up until this far into the thread, we have:
- You claim that CPS didn't check to see if the guns were loaded. You have absolutely no way of knowing that. The kids' testimony is irrelevant and CPS isn't going to give you a report.
- You're assuming that the kids were hurt by the stepfather - yet there's no evidence or police or CPS report of that incident.
- You're assuming that the kids were too scared to tell CPS the truth.
- You're complaining about your reputation - when you live thousands of miles away - and no one there probably knows or cares who you are.
- 99% of this thread was about the injury to your ego. It was only after that was shot down that the alleged harm to the kids came up.
- Your information about guns is also incorrect. The actual NJ statute is "A person who knows or reasonably should know that a minor is likely to gain access to a loaded firearm at a premises under the person’s control commits a disorderly persons offense if a minor gains access to the firearm, unless the person: (1) Stores the firearm in a securely locked box or container; (2) Stores the firearm in a location which a reasonable person would believe to be secure; or (3) Secures the firearm with a trigger lock."
If the gun had a trigger lock, there was no offense. If the person stored the gun in a location that a reasonable person would consider to be secure, there was no offense. And if the person did not reasonably know that a child was likely to gain access, there was no offense. Furthermore, see the bolded portion. It's only an offense if the child actually gains access to the gun (and I'm not sure it's a criminal offense, even then).
And so on. I stand by what I said. It's your son's problem. All I see is a meddling, self-centered grandmother.
You're becoming less credible with each passing moment.
Aside from the fact that the guns didn't come up until this far into the thread, we have:
- You claim that CPS didn't check to see if the guns were loaded. You have absolutely no way of knowing that. The kids' testimony is irrelevant and CPS isn't going to give you a report.
I KNOW THIS BC I TALKED WITH THE PERSON WHO FILED THE COMPLAINT AND THEY TALKED WITH CPS AND GOT THAT INFO!
- You're assuming that the kids were hurt by the stepfather - yet there's no evidence or police or CPS report of that incident.
I'M NOT ASSUMING, I HAVE BEEN IN THEIR HOME AND WATCHED STEPFATHER DO THIS WITH MY OWN EYES!
- You're assuming that the kids were too scared to tell CPS the truth.
A REASONABLE ASSUMPTION, SINCE I KNOW THAT HE HAS IN FACT HURT THEM.
- You're complaining about your reputation - when you live thousands of miles away - and no one there probably knows or cares who you are.
I DON'T LIVE THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY, RE-READ POST, I WAS THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY AT THE TIME THE COMPLAINT TO CPS HAPPENED, BC MY SISTER DIED AND WAS OUT THERE FOR THAT.
- 99% of this thread was about the injury to your ego. It was only after that was shot down that the alleged harm to the kids came up.
THERE WAS NO INJURY TO MY EGO, BELIEVE ME, IT'S JUST I WAS RECENTLY DISCUSSING ALL THIS WITH MY SON, TODAY IN FACT AND THE WHOLE GUN THING CAME UP...I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT IT, JUST NOT THINKING VERY CLEARLY AND TRYING TO GET SOME KIND OF RESOLVE AND OBVIOUSLY CONCERNED THAT I AM BEING ACCUSED OF SUCH A HORRIBLE THING.
- Your information about guns is also incorrect. The actual NJ statute is "A person who knows or reasonably should know that a minor is likely to gain access to a loaded firearm at a premises under the person’s control commits a disorderly persons offense if a minor gains access to the firearm, unless the person: (1) Stores the firearm in a securely locked box or container; (2) Stores the firearm in a location which a reasonable person would believe to be secure; or (3) Secures the firearm with a trigger lock."
I WAS TOLD BY A POLICE OFFICER, THAT HAVING A LOADED GUN IN THE HOME WITHIN THE REACH OF CHILDREN, THAT IS NOT SECURED AND IS LOADED IS A CRIMINAL OFFENSE. THIS LUNITIC POSTED A PICTURE OF HER 1 YEAR OLD PLAYING WITH HER HUSBANDS GUNS...WERE THEY LOADED WHO KNOWS, BUT THE POLICE FOUND THEM IN A PLACE IN THE HOME THAT WAS EASILY ACCESSIBLE, DID NOT CHECK TO SEE IF THEY WERE LOADED OR IF THE SAFETY WAS ON AND THAT IS FROM CPS
If the gun had a trigger lock, there was no offense. If the person stored the gun in a location that a reasonable person would consider to be secure, there was no offense. And if the person did not reasonably know that a child was likely to gain access, there was no offense. Furthermore, see the bolded portion. It's only an offense if the child actually gains access to the gun (and I'm not sure it's a criminal offense, even then).
And so on. I stand by what I said. It's your son's problem. All I see is a meddling, self-centered grandmother.
THINKING THAT WHEN CPS SAID ONE OF THE KIDS WOULD HAVE TO GET SHOT FOR THEM TO DO SOMETHING, IS KIND OF SCARY AND ANY NORMAL GRANDMOTHER WOULD CERTAINLY BE CONCERNED ABOUT THAT AND ALL THE OTHER ISSUES. EVERYONE LOOKS AT IT AS A DOMESTIC ISSUE AND A TIT FOR TAT THING. NOTHING WOULD MAKE ME HAPPIER THAN FOR THOSE KIDS TO HAVE A NORMAL MOTHER AND STEPFATHER AND TO KNOW THEY ARE SAFE THERE. HONESTLY I DON'T WISH HER BAD OR HARM, I JUST WISH SHE'D GET HELP, BUT SHE DOESN'T THINK ANYTHING IS WRONG WITH HER...THAT'S SAD FOR ALL CONCERNED.
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Aside from the fact that the guns didn't come up until this far into the thread, we have:
- You claim that CPS didn't check to see if the guns were loaded. You have absolutely no way of knowing that. The kids' testimony is irrelevant and CPS isn't going to give you a report.
I KNOW THIS BC I TALKED WITH THE PERSON WHO FILED THE COMPLAINT AND THEY TALKED WITH CPS AND GOT THAT INFO!
- You're assuming that the kids were hurt by the stepfather - yet there's no evidence or police or CPS report of that incident.
I'M NOT ASSUMING, I HAVE BEEN IN THEIR HOME AND WATCHED STEPFATHER DO THIS WITH MY OWN EYES!
- You're assuming that the kids were too scared to tell CPS the truth.
A REASONABLE ASSUMPTION, SINCE I KNOW THAT HE HAS IN FACT HURT THEM.
- You're complaining about your reputation - when you live thousands of miles away - and no one there probably knows or cares who you are.
I DON'T LIVE THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY, RE-READ POST, I WAS THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY AT THE TIME THE COMPLAINT TO CPS HAPPENED, BC MY SISTER DIED AND WAS OUT THERE FOR THAT.
- 99% of this thread was about the injury to your ego. It was only after that was shot down that the alleged harm to the kids came up.
THERE WAS NO INJURY TO MY EGO, BELIEVE ME, IT'S JUST I WAS RECENTLY DISCUSSING ALL THIS WITH MY SON, TODAY IN FACT AND THE WHOLE GUN THING CAME UP...I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT IT, JUST NOT THINKING VERY CLEARLY AND TRYING TO GET SOME KIND OF RESOLVE AND OBVIOUSLY CONCERNED THAT I AM BEING ACCUSED OF SUCH A HORRIBLE THING.
- Your information about guns is also incorrect. The actual NJ statute is "A person who knows or reasonably should know that a minor is likely to gain access to a loaded firearm at a premises under the person’s control commits a disorderly persons offense if a minor gains access to the firearm, unless the person: (1) Stores the firearm in a securely locked box or container; (2) Stores the firearm in a location which a reasonable person would believe to be secure; or (3) Secures the firearm with a trigger lock."
I WAS TOLD BY A POLICE OFFICER, THAT HAVING A LOADED GUN IN THE HOME WITHIN THE REACH OF CHILDREN, THAT IS NOT SECURED AND IS LOADED IS A CRIMINAL OFFENSE. THIS LUNITIC POSTED A PICTURE OF HER 1 YEAR OLD PLAYING WITH HER HUSBANDS GUNS...WERE THEY LOADED WHO KNOWS, BUT THE POLICE FOUND THEM IN A PLACE IN THE HOME THAT WAS EASILY ACCESSIBLE, DID NOT CHECK TO SEE IF THEY WERE LOADED OR IF THE SAFETY WAS ON AND THAT IS FROM CPS
If the gun had a trigger lock, there was no offense. If the person stored the gun in a location that a reasonable person would consider to be secure, there was no offense. And if the person did not reasonably know that a child was likely to gain access, there was no offense. Furthermore, see the bolded portion. It's only an offense if the child actually gains access to the gun (and I'm not sure it's a criminal offense, even then).
And so on. I stand by what I said. It's your son's problem. All I see is a meddling, self-centered grandmother.
THINKING THAT WHEN CPS SAID ONE OF THE KIDS WOULD HAVE TO GET SHOT FOR THEM TO DO SOMETHING, IS KIND OF SCARY AND ANY NORMAL GRANDMOTHER WOULD CERTAINLY BE CONCERNED ABOUT THAT AND ALL THE OTHER ISSUES. EVERYONE LOOKS AT IT AS A DOMESTIC ISSUE AND A TIT FOR TAT THING. NOTHING WOULD MAKE ME HAPPIER THAN FOR THOSE KIDS TO HAVE A NORMAL MOTHER AND STEPFATHER AND TO KNOW THEY ARE SAFE THERE. HONESTLY I DON'T WISH HER BAD OR HARM, I JUST WISH SHE'D GET HELP, BUT SHE DOESN'T THINK ANYTHING IS WRONG WITH HER...THAT'S SAD FOR ALL CONCERNED.
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mistoffolees
Senior Member
So your 'proof' is a third hand report? You do realize that this 'report' would not be admissible. And why in the world would CPS be telling some third party about their investigation? Sorry, not buying it.
You watched the stepfather hurt the child? What happened when you filed a police report and took the child to the emergency room?
Oh, you didn't file a police report when he 'hurt' the kids? Then that means that you were OK with whatever he did.
But since you didn't immediately call the police, you must have been OK with it.
Doesn't change anything.
Uh huh. And that explains why the entire first part of this thread was about how you wanted to sue her for damaging your reputation.
If you saw the kids being hurt or guns being misused, you should have called the police, not chatted with your son. Or if he thought the kids were in danger, then HE should have contacted CPS or the police. The fact that he didn't do so suggests that you are the only one seeing danger.
Then why don't you post the statute that support your claim? I already provided the wording of the statute. There are plenty of exceptions where it's NOT a criminal offense.
Not to mention, of course, that you have no evidence that the guns WERE loaded - just a third hand report from someone who would not be in a position to know because CPS investigations are private.
So you have absolutely no evidence that the guns were loaded. Please stop making things up.
And did you file a complaint with CPS for illegally releasing information about an investigation to a third party?
A 'normal' grandmother would address safety issues first rather than spending all their time whining about their reputation and only bringing up the safety issues after being told that she couldn't easily sue for slander. Heck, look at the title of the thread. It's about your hurt feelings, not about the kids.
Not to mention that CPS is right. They can't start yanking kids out of homes because grandma thinks that Mom is a "lunitic". They need to do an investigation and if they find that the home is dangerous, THEN they can remove the children. CPS did an investigation and decided not take action - so they clearly didn't see any danger.
CPS didn't think there was anything wrong with her, either.
And your own son apparently doesn't think there's anything wrong with her, either (or, at least, not enough for HIM to take any action).
Sorry, grandma. I'm not seeing the kid are in any danger. I'm seeing a bitter old lady who got her feelings hurt and is looking for any way she can attack Mom.
Just to clarify, i know who called cps and they talked to cps after cps visited the home and so that info was not divulged to a third party, but rather to the person who originally called.
Of course i was concerned about the allegations and looking to sue in an effort to stop this insanity, but guess, emotional abuse, threatening your kids, underminding their father and making sick untrue accusations about people the kids love and being obsessive in your hate of your ex-mother-in-law, your ex-husband and his new wife is perfectly normal.....it all against the children's bill of rights...for what that is worth. My son has taken action and gotten no where.
You people are just like cps...it was like the caller was the bad one...well when something bad happens in that house and it will...shame on you them.
Of course i was concerned about the allegations and looking to sue in an effort to stop this insanity, but guess, emotional abuse, threatening your kids, underminding their father and making sick untrue accusations about people the kids love and being obsessive in your hate of your ex-mother-in-law, your ex-husband and his new wife is perfectly normal.....it all against the children's bill of rights...for what that is worth. My son has taken action and gotten no where.
You people are just like cps...it was like the caller was the bad one...well when something bad happens in that house and it will...shame on you them.
mistoffolees
Senior Member
Unless it was the parent who was being investigated, s/he's a third party. And CPS does not divulge the results of their investigations to third parties.
And, yet, with all of this physical abuse that you claim to have witnessed, you have never once called the police or CPS.
I'm through with you. It's clear that there is absolutely no evidence that Mom is unfit and you're just bent out of shape because you got your feelings hurt.
Like CPS, we expect people to be able to back up their accusations and we are almost all on the side of the child. We don't accept mindless, unfounded personal attacks from people who are not legally involved - and who can't be bothered to go through legal channels.
So, yes, in that sense we are like CPS.