Father has cancer

[FLFamof5]

Question is????

Do they have the Right of First Refusal in their CO? If not, then the son will go over to Dad's house for visitation regardless if he is in a treatment center or not?

 

[nolegirl1990]

reply to custody agreement

My custody is I am residential custodial parent. dad is non custodial with liberal visitation.
My son sees him Thurs. overnight , Fri over night and every other weekend. We also split all holidays equally.
Again in this situation, if my son is not with his father during his visitation, can I legally request that my son stays with me during his visitation time instead of stay with stepmom.
Like I said before, if it was a situation where Dad had to go away on his weekend for business or a wedding and my son stayed with the grandparents or step mom on my ex's visitation time- FINE NO PROBLEM-
But if my ex is going to be gone for 3 months of his visitation time and is getting treatment for cancer that no one has bothered to talk to my son about...I want to be able to have my son with me, since it will be so traumatic and devastating for everyone...Stepmom and his parents will be hurting so much and dealing with their own emotions, that I think they will not be able to help my son through it like I will be able to. (I am not as attached to my ex as they are)

 

[FLFamof5]

Contact you attorney

IMO.. If you don't have the ROFR in your CO then every other weekend son has to go over to Dad's. Then if he is in a treatment center then SM/Grandparent's will take him to spend time with his Dad. Unless you have the ROFR in your CO then if you withhold visitation you will be in contempt.

It's a catch 22 here... if this is indeed true about your Ex... do you take him to court while he's on his death bed and cause more undue stress on him or do you act in a moral aspect and allow your son as much time with his Father as possible without your overwhelming interference.

Please don't misunderstand me, It's a tough situation that you are in but like the other posts have stated to you "this is his ONLY Father"... regardless of the past that you had with him... Has he ever harmed your son?

Children are like rubber bands... yes, it will be tough and devistating on him but they will bounce back.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

What is wrong with your son being there when other are experiencing grief? Perhaps you are too detached, that would be an abnormal experience. Your son is going to be upset, but it is a part of life, just because you don't have a relationship with his dad doesnt mean that he shouldn't be with his father or his family. Maybe he doesn't like being with his grandparents, my kids liked one set because the were nicer to them the other set wasn't, again it is life not any different because there is a divrce.

 

[Jillian483]

My custody is I am residential custodial parent. dad is non custodial with liberal visitation.
My son sees him Thurs. overnight , Fri over night and every other weekend. We also split all holidays equally.
Again in this situation, if my son is not with his father during his visitation, can I legally request that my son stays with me during his visitation time instead of stay with stepmom.
Like I said before, if it was a situation where Dad had to go away on his weekend for business or a wedding and my son stayed with the grandparents or step mom on my ex's visitation time- FINE NO PROBLEM-
But if my ex is going to be gone for 3 months of his visitation time and is getting treatment for cancer that no one has bothered to talk to my son about...I want to be able to have my son with me, since it will be so traumatic and devastating for everyone...Stepmom and his parents will be hurting so much and dealing with their own emotions, that I think they will not be able to help my son through it like I will be able to. (I am not as attached to my ex as they are)

If you are the legal residential custodian and have sole custody as well then yes the child should be with you. Go get him!!!

 

[Jillian483]

I don't like what I just wrote I forgot what post I was on here. Okay well then The best advice is the advice that I gave you earlier. Have the child stay with you and ensure that he spends as much time as possible (This SHOULD at least be a few days a week) with his father. If his grandparents want to take him to visit with their son then I don't see why not but the child should be spending the night with you. This will be a very fragile time for hime. I am a little confused wht you even poseted this without talking with the father first. If he doesn't have cancer then this is pretty pointless. HUH?

 

[FLFamof5]

She doesn't have sole! She has residential physical.

 

[MandyD]

Only 10 more Jillian.

 

[FLFamof5]

If his grandparents want to take him to visit with their son then I don't see why not but the child should be spending the night with you.

If she doesn't have the ROFR is her CO then she cannot prevent the visitation from occurring... CONTEMPT!

 

[LdiJ]

Did anyone else catch on to the fact that the order says "liberal visitation"? If so, that changes the entire complexity of the situation. If anyone here doesn't understand how that changes things, then they need to do a "search"...and review that.

 

[Jillian483]

If she doesn't have the ROFR is her CO then she cannot prevent the visitation from occurring... CONTEMPT!

The visitation was granted to the father not the grandparents. Therefore if they want to take the child to allow them to visit the father then it is not contempt but if they want to just flat out keep the child all the time, they cannot do this. I have no idea what ROFR and CO mean.

 

[mom2J]

I have no idea what ROFR and CO mean.

You can't be serious?! You're spouting all of this advice, yet you don't know this???

ROFR- Right of First Refusal
CO- Court Order

 

[FLFamof5]

Did anyone else catch on to the fact that the order says "liberal visitation"? If so, that changes the entire complexity of the situation. If anyone here doesn't understand how that changes things, then they need to do a "search"...and review that.

She stated: "My son sees him Thurs. overnight , Fri over night and every other weekend. We also split all holidays equally."

Liberal is open visitation... but wouldn't status quo be in order in this situation?

 

[casa]

My custody is I am residential custodial parent. dad is non custodial with liberal visitation.
My son sees him Thurs. overnight , Fri over night and every other weekend. We also split all holidays equally.
Again in this situation, if my son is not with his father during his visitation, can I legally request that my son stays with me during his visitation time instead of stay with stepmom.
Like I said before, if it was a situation where Dad had to go away on his weekend for business or a wedding and my son stayed with the grandparents or step mom on my ex's visitation time- FINE NO PROBLEM-
But if my ex is going to be gone for 3 months of his visitation time and is getting treatment for cancer that no one has bothered to talk to my son about...I want to be able to have my son with me, since it will be so traumatic and devastating for everyone...Stepmom and his parents will be hurting so much and dealing with their own emotions, that I think they will not be able to help my son through it like I will be able to. (I am not as attached to my ex as they are)

If you truly loved your child you would be able to see beyond your own wants and realize that the sibling relationship is one of the most vital and healing in times of loss/grief. Being together during the mutual loss of a parent would only benefit your child processing grief.

The fact that you say the stepmother won't be able to take care of the child since she'd be grieving- astounds me Are you implying that if YOU died, it would be best for your child to not have contact with your family and just be whisked away with the X?

You should be doing whatever you can to ensure as much extra time with the father as is possible ... he won't be around much longer apparently. This is about your CHILD.

 

[CJane]

I feel as his mother, I am the best person to help my child through this (besides Dad) and do not want my ex and his family to impede on my relationship with my son as his parent. In other words, because of my horrible experinces with this man, his family and his new wife, I know that they may not act in my son's best interest. I, like I said, am more than willing to take my son to my ex's treatment center, allow him to be with our son as much as he is able too...just when my ex is not at home because he is getting treatment, that our son be with me at my home...not with his new stepmom or my ex-in laws because I know he feels much more secure with me...(my son has stated this before.)
I just wanted to know if I had any legal rights IF it got to the point where my ex lied to me and was not spending time with my son due to health reasons and allowing his family to take my son for visitation with them (not Dad)without consulting me. I am under the impression that with our divorce degree it clearly states that my son has visitation with his FATHER, the NON CUSTODIAL parent...not visitation with stepmom, half sister, grandparents and aunts and uncles.

Even if my ex passes away, I would not deny my son his father's family....I would limit the time spent with them because they do not have morals or values that I share and would not like my son to be uncomfortable.But I would not deny my son his family.

You are unbelievable.

What you're implying is that this child's family has NO right to spend time with him in their time of grief. That they're incapable of caring for him, and that you 'allow' his father to see him.

You know what? You don't ALLOW anything. The court ORDERED you to give the father access.

I have to have this conversation with my ex all the time. It is NONE of your business where the child is/what he's doing/who he's with during Father's visitation. Doesn't matter if he drops the kid off at the neighbor's house and hits the bar - as long as the child is safe and cared for (ie fed and clothed and warm and dry). Doesn't matter whether or not you agree with their morals or conduct.

Unless you have ROFR, you have NO say. And, at least in my state, even ROFR usually doesn't apply if the person that the child is being left with is the SM or a blood relative of the NCP.

I swear, reading your posts is like going through my custody battle all over again.