father has never seen

[slylyd]

What is the name of your state? Ohio

My son is almost 9 years old. His biological father has NEVER seen him. He does pay support though. If he takes me to court for visitation would there be some kind of evaluation, or counseling done on him? Or something for all of us? Would there be supervised visitation in the begining? Though we lived together once when I was young, I currently don't know a thing about him or his lifestyle. Like I said my son has no idea who he is, and it would be like sending my son off with a complete stranger. Also, do courts give some consideration to the fact that he has never made contact?
I'd appreciate any advise. thanks

 

[snostar]

You can request a GAL to represent your child. Yes, the court will take into consideration this child has never actually met his father and will likely start visitation gradually.

 

[VeronicaGia]

What is the name of your state? Ohio

My son is almost 9 years old. His biological father has NEVER seen him. He does pay support though. If he takes me to court for visitation would there be some kind of evaluation, or counseling done on him? Or something for all of us? Would there be supervised visitation in the begining? Though we lived together once when I was young, I currently don't know a thing about him or his lifestyle. Like I said my son has no idea who he is, and it would be like sending my son off with a complete stranger. Also, do courts give some consideration to the fact that he has never made contact?
I'd appreciate any advise. thanks

You can ask the court to order any visitation to be supervised with another person your son knows (not you). But eventually, he will get unsupervised visitation.

 

[slylyd]

Ohio
GAL?? Sorry I'm new to this.
Would visitation likely be granted, because of the support being paid? I don't have an objection to my son seeing him when he's older and can make the decision himself. I believe that its his (my sons) decision now. Not mine and not his "fathers". He just needs to be old enought to make it. I think his "father" needs to extend the same courtesy to my son and he did to himself with his decision. Is that ever taken into consideration?
thanks.

 

[snostar]

A GAL is a Guardian ad litem, an attorney to represent the child and the best interest of the child. If Dad files, he will likely get visitation, asking for supervised at first is not unreasonable. If an court order is issued, you will not have a choice but to follow the order or face contempt.

 

[SMURFEELAW]

The Court recognizes a parents right to see their child if the parent has not exercised that right in the past. But as someone already stated the Court will probably take into account that this man is a total stranger to the child and grant limited supervised visitations at first and then if all goes well unsupervised visitation overnights and the like. You have to support the Court in their efforts in order to make this easy for your son. The Court will not allow a child to make such a major decision.

 

[slylyd]

ohio

Do you happen to know if I requested his living conditions to be evaulated, would they be? Do you know what age they would listen to my sons opinion if he has one on it? I'm trying to prepare myself and be as fair as I can. It just frys me that after this long he could come in and disrupt my sons life, without waiting for my son to contact him. (which I'm sure will happen eventually)

 

[slylyd]

I am trying to make things easy on my son. That's why I'm asking questions.

thanks, I appreciate everyone help.

 

[SMURFEELAW]

Well if you ask for GAL then there would most likely be a home inspection (or at least an interview at dads home) so someone would see the conditions. I don't think it seems over reactive to ask for proof of living conditions and such he is a stranger to your son. I only commented on supporting this b/c your son will feed off you and your stress. Yes what dad is doing is unfair to your son I agree b/c he should have been active for these past years but maybe he has finally grown up and wants a relationship with your son and your son can potentially benefit. Ask for a GAL and ask for supervised only visitation so they can get re-aquainted. The Court won't recognize as gospel your childs opinion until he is 18. But some Courts will take into account a childs wishes depending on age and maturity but that is usually around 15 and up (from what I have seen and heard) not to mention your son doesn't have enough info to make this decision he doesn't even know this man. What about requesting that visitation require some type of counseling for son and dad together to work through all the pain dad has caused. Good Luck to you and your son.

 

[slylyd]

Thanks for the help.

Hopefully he'll continue to ignore us for now. I was just wondering because though recently married, my husband and I have been together since my son was one year old, and we filed a request for a name change on my son so him and I can have the same last name. I know that the biological father got the forms, but has not responded, which according to the court is good for us. But like I said, I don't know him anymore, and things like that would have set him off before. So I was just trying to be prepared for anything. By the way he was 27 when I got pregnant I was 19. I was the young one at the time. But maybe it does take men longer to grow up. Also, my son has no clue about my nerves on this subject and never has. I keep it to me and my husband behind closed doors. I would never even if it got bad do that to him. I'm not one of those kind of mom. (not saying you were implying that)

Thanks for the well wishes

 

[VeronicaGia]

So that you know: You said "he does pay support though." That is considered "contact" by the courts.