Father wants to see son

[McGruder]

What is the name of your state? Colorado

I have a 3 year old son that I pay child support for that I haven't seen or heard about for 7 months. He lives with his mother and her new husband about 30 minutes away, but I don't even know where for sure. Ever since she got married she hasn't even returned a phone call, and I call EVERY DAY. It's like when she got married, I lost my rights- not that I ever had a whole lot to start with, she has always been difficult. I just want to see my son. My 2 year old that lives with me doesn't even know his brother other than in pictures. I am trying so save up money to take her to court, But I was just wondering what rights do I have now? We've never gone to court beforeand we were never married. I had a DNA test done at social services when I was brought in for child support and my name is on the birth certificate. What rights do I have now? Do we both have equal rights? Is there anything that I can do without going to court?

 

[hexeliebe]

I had a DNA test done at social services when I was brought in for child support and my name is on the birth certificate. What rights do I have now?

You have absolutely no rights at the present time since you do not have court ordered visitation or custody. If you are trying to save money to go to court, then you're wasting time.

You can file right now for a minimum filing fee. The first thing to do is to speak with an attorney in your city about the cost for filing for joint custody and/or visitation, the costs, fees and any payment plans available.

As long as you are paying child support and have the DNA test, you continue being the father. However, rights must be demanded and you have none until you do so.

 

[pucker]

I was told something totally different by the courts. If paternity is established then he should have as much rights as she does. I dont have anything, but a child support order w/ my sons father. I didn't allow him to see him, because i didn't trust him. They wanted to arrest me for kidnapping, because he has as much rights to him as i do until we have some kind of visitation and custody set up.

 

[hexeliebe]

I doubt your story and his are exactly the same or even in the same state.

Regardless, unless there is a court order for visitation and/or custody established, then the ONLY right he has is to pay child support.

 

[McGruder]

I have also heard that until there is a custody order issued, both parents have equal rights. I don't know if it true in Colorado or not, but I hope so. Pucker's story about wanting to arrest her for kidnapping makes me think. It's not just me that she's hurting by doing this. It's also hurting both of my sons by not letting them even know each other not to mention the rest of my family who's never even been around him.

 

[hexeliebe]

Really? Then you go right ahead and try to take your son from his mother. Let's see who ends up in jail.

I'm done here. Fend for yourself.

 

[McGruder]

NO- you misunderstood me. I really appreciate the advice. I was just saying what I have heard is that both parents have equal rights. I don't know for sure if it is true or not. That is why I am on here- I want to find out. As far as the kidnapping charges being presses on her, I think it is something that should be looked into, because that is basically what she is doing. I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE HIM FROM HER. I think a child needs his mother- AND HIS FATHER

 

[hexeliebe]

As far as the kidnapping charges being presses on her, I think it is something that should be looked into, because that is basically what she is doing

Wrong. She is legally the custodian of the minor child. Why? Because legally she is the only adult who has standing to claim the child. She is presumed legally to have custody until such time as another adult parent is awarded custody by a court of law or, she is found unfit and her parental rights are terminated.

Remember, you were not married at the time of birth. Therefore, any presumption of you being the father legally is gone. That's why you had a DNA test, established paternity and are now paying support. Because that's what men have to do to begin establishing their rights to custody and visitation.

You seem to forget one thing. While a mother is presumed under law to have certain rights upon birth of a child, a father must actively pursue those same rights. There is no presumption of rights as in the case of the mother.

You have taken a first step by establishing paternity and paying child support. HOWEVER, support entitles you to nothing under the law. Visitation and/or custody are entirely separate issues to be decided by a court and a judge.

And without a custody / visitation order signed by a judge granting you SPECIFIC rights, the ONLY legal right you have at this time is to pay child support.

Now, was that plain enough or do I give up and leave you at the mercy of idiots who 'heard something somewhere?"-

 

[McGruder]

Great- Thanks for the advice. That's why I'm here.I hope I didn't offend you. I made an appt. with my lawyer for later today.

 

[hexeliebe]

Don't worry about offending me. I offend myself every morning when I look in the mirror. Just take care of your legal rights before you lose them.

good luck.

 

[shuga24]

hex is right, you only have paternity established. now you have to file a pettition for custody and visitations.

 

[CaliCat]

Sad, isn't it, that a father doesn't have the same rights as the mother? He has to pay to fight, even with DNA paternity established, while she gets to sit back and do nothing until he has the money. Even then, by that time, the child is considered to have an attachment to the mother, and the courts will consider it detrimental to the child to be removed from the mother. The father never stood a chance because he is the one who has to have the money.

This is exactly what Live Beat Dads is for, to help fathers as the stupid system seems to believe that the one with the uterus and "right" to kill the unborn baby "owns" the child. I'm sorry you're going through this. E-mail me and I'll add one more tally to your state since LBD has the goal to open more chapters in more states.