• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Fighting adoption case

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

Status
Not open for further replies.

whiskurz

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Dakota


Through an agency, can a potential adoptive couple take home the potential adoptee before their homestudy is completed?
 


Proserpina

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Dakota


Through an agency, can a potential adoptive couple take home the potential adoptee before their homestudy is completed?


If the agency agrees, yes.

Why is the thread called "fighting adoption case"?

:confused:
 

sandyclaus

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? North Dakota


Through an agency, can a potential adoptive couple take home the potential adoptee before their homestudy is completed?

It's possible that the agency wants to get first-hand experience with direct interaction between the potential adoptee and adoptive parents prior to completing the adoption.

If the agency agrees, then of course they would want to ensure that there are no immediate threats or issues first.
 

whiskurz

Junior Member
Edit

In the shortest version I can come up with, I am trying to reverse an adoption with my son. It might actually be adoption disruption, as I'm not positive whether or not the decree of adoption has been finalized.

I made a mistake putting my son up for adoption. I wasn't educated in the facts, and I let myself be manipulated like a lot of other young moms in my situation.
I was working with a caseworker for support, as I was living in an unfamiliar place. I had always wanted to keep my son and parent him, but I was lead to believe I was unfit and unstable to be a mother. When I fought my caseworker on this, she threatened to call CPS on me if I were to bring my son home. I was terrified of that idea, I didn't want my baby to be taken by force. I succumbed, I wasn't anywhere near prepared as I would have liked to be. I didn't know that I had every right as any other of the mothers in the hospital to take home their baby.

The adoption was done rather fast, and I was in the dark for most of it. The only thing I have signed is the consent to the Termination of Parental Rights. I'm not certain if the decree of adoption has been finalized. I'm waiting on a written inquiry.



I've been doing my own research thus far and have discovered:


50-12-08. Child must be placed in suitable home - Department may remove child.
A child may not be placed in any foster or adoptive home until adequate investigation has
been made as to the suitability of the proposed foster or adoptive parents and their home
surroundings.


50-12-10. Revocation of license - Grounds.
The department of human services may revoke the license of any child-placing agency
upon a proper showing of any of the following:
1. The licensee has violated any requirements under this chapter.
2. The license was issued upon fraudulent or untrue representations.
3. The licensee has violated any of the rules and regulations of the department.
4. The licensee has been guilty of an offense determined by the department to have a
direct bearing upon a person's ability to serve the public as a licensee, or the
department determines, following conviction of any offense, the person is not
sufficiently rehabilitated under section 12.1-33-02.1.


Which lead to the homestudy question. Because if that were the case, then the agency has violated its requirements, correct?



14-15-08. Withdrawal of consent.
1. A consent to adoption cannot be withdrawn after the entry of a decree of adoption.
2. A consent to adoption may be withdrawn before the entry of a decree of adoption if the
court finds, after notice and opportunity to be heard is afforded to petitioner, the individual seeking
the withdrawal, and the agency placing a child for adoption, that the withdrawal is in the best interest
of the individual to be adopted and the court orders the withdrawal.




Which then potentially leads to the 'best interest of the individual'.

I'm looking for any insight that I'm overlooking or that I'm missing, or even maybe misunderstanding.
Anything and everything is going to help!
Thanks
 
Last edited:

Proserpina

Senior Member
In the shortest version I can come up with, I am trying to reverse an adoption with my son. It might actually be adoption disruption, as I'm not positive whether or not the decree of adoption has been finalized.

I made a mistake putting my son up for adoption. I wasn't educated in the facts, and I let myself be manipulated like a lot of other young moms in my situation.
I was working with a caseworker for support, as I was living in an unfamiliar place. I had always wanted to keep my son and parent him, but I was lead to believe I was unfit and unstable to be a mother. When I fought my caseworker on this, she threatened to call CPS on me if I were to bring my son home. I was terrified of that idea, I didn't want my baby to be taken by force. I succumbed, I wasn't anywhere near prepared as I would have liked to be. I didn't know that I had every right as any other of the mothers in the hospital to take home their baby.

The adoption was done rather fast, and I was in the dark for most of it. The only thing I have signed is the consent to the Termination of Parental Rights. I'm not certain if the decree of adoption has been finalized. I'm waiting on a written inquiry.



I've been doing my own research thus far and have discovered:


50-12-08. Child must be placed in suitable home - Department may remove child.
A child may not be placed in any foster or adoptive home until adequate investigation has
been made as to the suitability of the proposed foster or adoptive parents and their home
surroundings.


50-12-10. Revocation of license - Grounds.
The department of human services may revoke the license of any child-placing agency
upon a proper showing of any of the following:
1. The licensee has violated any requirements under this chapter.
2. The license was issued upon fraudulent or untrue representations.
3. The licensee has violated any of the rules and regulations of the department.
4. The licensee has been guilty of an offense determined by the department to have a
direct bearing upon a person's ability to serve the public as a licensee, or the
department determines, following conviction of any offense, the person is not
sufficiently rehabilitated under section 12.1-33-02.1.


Which lead to the homestudy question. Because if that were the case, then the agency has violated its requirements, correct?



14-15-08. Withdrawal of consent.
1. A consent to adoption cannot be withdrawn after the entry of a decree of adoption.
2. A consent to adoption may be withdrawn before the entry of a decree of adoption if the
court finds, after notice and opportunity to be heard is afforded to petitioner, the individual seeking
the withdrawal, and the agency placing a child for adoption, that the withdrawal is in the best interest
of the individual to be adopted and the court orders the withdrawal.




Which then potentially leads to the 'best interest of the individual'.

I'm looking for any insight that I'm overlooking or that I'm missing, or even maybe misunderstanding.
Anything and everything is going to help!
Thanks



Okay - when did this take place?

(Where is the other parent?)
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
22 months ago and the alleged father has since then married me.


So presumably he gave up his rights too?

I cannot see ANYTHING being overturned at this point - the child has been with the adoptive parents for almost 2 years. Why would it be in the child's best interest to be ripped from everything s/he knows?
 

whiskurz

Junior Member
So presumably he gave up his rights too?

I cannot see ANYTHING being overturned at this point - the child has been with the adoptive parents for almost 2 years. Why would it be in the child's best interest to be ripped from everything s/he knows?

edit:Correct~




Increase of potential mental health risks resulting from deep seated feelings of abandonment.

Adoption as a Risk Factor for Attempted Suicide During Adolescence: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/108/2/e30.full
"Suicide attempts are significantly more common among adolescents who live with married adoptive mothers than among adolescents who live with married biological mothers. The association between adoption and attempted suicide persists after adjusting for depression and aggression and is not mediated by impulsivity as measured by a self-reported tendency to make decisions quickly."

Potentially my son becomes a target of resentment as the adoptive mother has since had her own child. The adoptive couple was supposedly completely infertile, and now that they've had their own child; their focus is going to be split. It's only natural for a mother's attention to fall first upon her own biological child's needs and wants, especially when the children are that close in age.


As two years may seem like such a long period of time, in the grand scheme of life, two years is merely a fraction. To the advantage of his age, were he to be told what was going on he would actually understand to some extent. Now if this would've happened sooner, then there may have been adverse psychological effects.
 
Last edited:

Proserpina

Senior Member
Increase of potential mental health risks resulting from deep seated feelings of abandonment.

Adoption as a Risk Factor for Attempted Suicide During Adolescence: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/108/2/e30.full
"Suicide attempts are significantly more common among adolescents who live with married adoptive mothers than among adolescents who live with married biological mothers. The association between adoption and attempted suicide persists after adjusting for depression and aggression and is not mediated by impulsivity as measured by a self-reported tendency to make decisions quickly."


And this is relevant why?

Potentially my son becomes a target of resentment as the adoptive mother has since had her own child. The adoptive couple was supposedly completely infertile, and now that they've had their own child; their focus is going to be split. It's only natural for a mother's attention to fall first upon her own biological child's needs and wants, especially when the children are that close in age.

He's not your son. You haven't bothered to do anything for 22 MONTHS. Good grief.

As two years may seem like such a long period of time, in the grand scheme of life, two years is merely a fraction. To the advantage of his age, were he to be told what was going on he would actually understand to some extent. Now if this would've happened sooner, then there may have been adverse psychological effects.




What the heck are you smoking?!

If your rights were terminated, you do not have a child. Period. And by statute it is FAR too late to challenge the adoption.

And seriously - this post of yours concerns me. You evidently have some issues with what happened, and I believe counseling might help you an awful lot.
 

latigo

Senior Member
But for hell’s sake don’t tell anyone!
22 months ago and the alleged father has since then married me.

The United States Supreme Court has constantly rule that the rights of a parent to make decisions concerning the care, custody, and control of their minor children is a fundamental right that is protected by the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment.

Meaning a fundamental property right that a parent cannot be deprived of without due process of law. As an example see Troxel vs. Granville, 530 U. S., 120 S. Ct. 2054 (2000)

In light of this extensive precedent, it cannot now be doubted that the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment protects the fundamental right of parents to make decisions concerning the care, custody, and control of their children.

Now whether the father has been legally deprived of that right we cannot tell from the sparse information supplied . And my guess is that neither of you can tell us.

But if the father neither consented to such an adoption - and/or such consent was not in conformity with North Dakota applicable laws - and/or he was never given reasonable notice of the pendency of such adoption proceedings, and/or his parental rights have not been legally terminated, then he needs to seek the advice of a family law attorney.
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
Since the adoptive parents went through an agency, it seems unlikely that they just "forgot" to notify or get consent from the father.
 

nextwife

Senior Member
Potentially my son becomes a target of resentment as the adoptive mother has since had her own child. The adoptive couple was supposedly completely infertile, and now that they've had their own child; their focus is going to be split. It's only natural for a mother's attention to fall first upon her own biological child's needs and wants, especially when the children are that close in age.


This is total bullcrap/ One's child, adoptive or bio, is their child regardless, and I know of no parents who love any of their children more or less simply because of the nature of how they joined their family. Any kiddo that gets a sibling deals with jealousy and wondering if mom and dad will still love them and ultimately learn much from sharing life with their sibling. Being bio or adoptive is no more relevant than them being born vaginally or by C-section, as to the parent's love for their children.

And I doubt the cited study has been replicated. And wonder whether they lumped step adoptive kids into that mix (because in these forums we see a LOT of poor decision making/musical daddies etc amongst the step adoptive portion of the adoptive spectrum). Most informed, enlightened adoptive parents make sure their kids know from day one how special they are and how loved, and know to not lie or mislead their kids about bioparentage. They also do not act like being adopted is a dirty little secret to keep hidden from the child..unlike a lot of step adoptive families who seem to have issues with their kids being aware that the step adoptive parent is not the bio.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
Top