Filing Child Support - Child in NJ & Father is in Berlin

[nj3123]

LD is not correct. CSEA most likely will not be able to obtain jurisdiction over a German citizen in Germany nor enforce a court order in Germany. YOU NEED AN ATTORNEY.

How do you expect to enforce the order to establish paternity? Again, ATTORNEY.

Thank you, I have one in mind. I'll reach back out to him as I've previously had a consultation with him.

Are you saying that the court has already established that he is the father?
-or -
Are you saying that you are asking the court to find that he is the father?

No, the court hasn't established he's the father, I will need this to be done. I filled out a form to establish and submitted it with my paperwork.

 

[Zigner]

No, the court hasn't established he's the father, I will need this to be done. I filled out a form to establish and submitted it with my paperwork.

All that means is that you're asking the court to make such a finding. It doesn't mean that he has been, or will be, found to be the father. As has been mentioned, you need an attorney before you completely botch this.

 

[nj3123]

All that means is that you're asking the court to make such a finding. It doesn't mean that he has been, or will be, found to be the father. As has been mentioned, you need an attorney before you completely botch this.

Thanks, I agree with you. That was why I originally was going to call the Lawyer right after the hearing I had yesterday, but my family (no experience in law at all) was making me a bit hesitant.

I'll move forward with my original decision based on you guys' advice.

 

[doucar]

You stated that he is not an American citizen and that he is applying for German citizenship. What country is he a citizen of? Where was he born?

 

[not2cleverRed]

You stated that he is not an American citizen and that he is applying for German citizenship. What country is he a citizen of? Where was he born?

My thoughts exactly: if the alleged dad isn't a US citizen and isn't a German citizen then where is he a citizen?

I am also baffled by the statement that the alleged Dad is "travels to the US frequently with a tourist visa issued by his German Employer."

1) Employers don't issue visas. They might sponsor one for a WORK BASED visa. It is a violation to be paid for work while visiting the US on a tourist visa.
2) The alleged Dad married a German who he only may have divorced?! I realize that OP is no longer romantically involved with the alleged father, but how was she ever engaged without knowing for certain that he'd ended his previous marriage?

@nj3123 stop taking legal advice from your IGNORANT relatives. Try to get an initial consult from at least 3 family law attorneys. You don't have to retain any of them, but they might enlighten you a little bit more as to what your REAL legal options are.

Family and friends who haven't been through the Family Court experience have little to no idea how things work there, and what is reasonable or not.

Family and friends who have some experience with Family Court might have some useful information, but more often no. What might look like 2 similar cases might be treated very differently, even by the same judge, due to a variety of factors. My observation is that you have to be very careful, and most lay people representing themselves use words and/or phrases that undermine their cases,

P.S. Also skip any and all Hallmark channel Christmas movies. Or any RomCom Christmas movies.

 

[Zigner]

Family and friends who have some experience with Family Court might have some useful information, but more often no. What might look like 2 similar cases might be treated very differently, even by the same judge, due to a variety of factors.

While it is generally true that people who have gone through the system in the past may have useful information to impart, this poster's situation is very unique. It is extremely unlikely that anyone who is not an experienced family-law attorney will have any concrete advice to offer.

 

[nj3123]

You stated that he is not an American citizen and that he is applying for German citizenship. What country is he a citizen of? Where was he born?

Hi Doucar,

He was born in Nigeria and has a Nigerian Passport.

 

[nj3123]

Hi All,

I just wanted to provide an update as you definitely helped me in the past. I'll also respond to the other posters after this update.

I decided to retain an attorney here in NJ after speaking with everyone here.

They charged less because I filed the paperwork myself.

So far they have gathered all of the documents and sent them to my son's father last week with the hearing documents via email.

He received the documents because he has reached by telephone on and we have spoken. This is the first time we've spoken since August.

My son's father asked me to cease moving forward with the court case and he will pay $200 monthly. I told him that I will move forward with the case because he has offered no support since our son is now 14 months old and he has offered no previous assistance.

My question is - Do I have to inform my lawyer that my son's father has reached out?

Thank you!

 

[nj3123]

My thoughts exactly: if the alleged dad isn't a US citizen and isn't a German citizen then where is he a citizen?

I am also baffled by the statement that the alleged Dad is "travels to the US frequently with a tourist visa issued by his German Employer."

1) Employers don't issue visas. They might sponsor one for a WORK BASED visa. It is a violation to be paid for work while visiting the US on a tourist visa.
2) The alleged Dad married a German who he only may have divorced?! I realize that OP is no longer romantically involved with the alleged father, but how was she ever engaged without knowing for certain that he'd ended his previous marriage?

@nj3123 stop taking legal advice from your IGNORANT relatives. Try to get an initial consult from at least 3 family law attorneys. You don't have to retain any of them, but they might enlighten you a little bit more as to what your REAL legal options are.

Family and friends who haven't been through the Family Court experience have little to no idea how things work there, and what is reasonable or not.

Family and friends who have some experience with Family Court might have some useful information, but more often no. What might look like 2 similar cases might be treated very differently, even by the same judge, due to a variety of factors. My observation is that you have to be very careful, and most lay people representing themselves use words and/or phrases that undermine their cases,

P.S. Also skip any and all Hallmark channel Christmas movies. Or any RomCom Christmas movies.

Hi not2cleverRed,

Sorry, I missed your messages.

I am not too familiar with work/tourist visa's. When we were together he would work remotely and when I had questioned his visa in the past, it was a B1/B2. I looked this up online and saw it was a Tourist Visa.

1. All I know is he worked on the B1/B2 visa while visiting me.
2. He has definitely been evasive in the past and gotten upset when I'd ask more questions..this was why I decided to not go through with marrying him. He mentioned being married and then that he was with his ex for 6 years who was verbally abusive. I wondered why he would stay with her, but after putting two and two together during our time apart, I assume this was or is still his wife.

I did hire the lawyer and I'm glad I did. The process has been very clear and stress removed from doing this myself.

I also love Hallmark movies, but this has smacked some reality into me.

 

[Ohiogal]

Hi All,

I just wanted to provide an update as you definitely helped me in the past. I'll also respond to the other posters after this update.

I decided to retain an attorney here in NJ after speaking with everyone here.

They charged less because I filed the paperwork myself.

So far they have gathered all of the documents and sent them to my son's father last week with the hearing documents via email.

He received the documents because he has reached by telephone on and we have spoken. This is the first time we've spoken since August.

My son's father asked me to cease moving forward with the court case and he will pay $200 monthly. I told him that I will move forward with the case because he has offered no support since our son is now 14 months old and he has offered no previous assistance.

My question is - Do I have to inform my lawyer that my son's father has reached out?

Thank you!

Why wouldn't you tell your lawyer that your son's alleged father has reached out?

 

[LdiJ]

Hi not2cleverRed,

Sorry, I missed your messages.

I am not too familiar with work/tourist visa's. When we were together he would work remotely and when I had questioned his visa in the past, it was a B1/B2. I looked this up online and saw it was a Tourist Visa.

1. All I know is he worked on the B1/B2 visa while visiting me.
2. He has definitely been evasive in the past and gotten upset when I'd ask more questions..this was why I decided to not go through with marrying him. He mentioned being married and then that he was with his ex for 6 years who was verbally abusive. I wondered why he would stay with her, but after putting two and two together during our time apart, I assume this was or is still his wife.

I did hire the lawyer and I'm glad I did. The process has been very clear and stress removed from doing this myself.

I also love Hallmark movies, but this has smacked some reality into me.

B1 visas are tourist visas. B2 visas are not tourist visas. They are business visas.

 

[not2cleverRed]

My question is - Do I have to inform my lawyer that my son's father has reached out?

Thank you!

Yes. Keep your lawyer informed. This is legally relevant information.

Also, did you miss a zero or did Dad actually suggest that two hundred dollars a MONTH would be appropriate?!