Filing for Child Support

[stephy382004]

What is the name of your state? N.Y.

My fiances ex-wife is now just filing for child support. I have been with him for over three years. We live in the house which was once his and his ex's. I bought it from them as to keep the kids in familiar surroundings not to mention the good deal I got. We have the kids every other week. ( Both girls 10 and 5) We get them on the school bus, off the school bus, feed, shelter, cloth, kiss their booboos etc. etc.

She decided to live with her parents and go to school fulltime without working.( Except here and there off the books) That means her parents paid for most. She now lives in an apartment has had her truck re-poed with both children every other week and her boyfriend full time.
I have started to back track both our checkbooks to aquire canceled checks that we're written to her, the pediatricians, the clothes we bought, the horse back riding lessons, the sports their signed up for etc............

She wants not just child support but she is going for back child support also.

Any feed back on this would be great other than we're working on hiring one of the best lawyers in Rochester. ( Oh and it's a female Judge)

Thanks,
Steph

 

[nextwife]

There was no custody/child support as part of the divorce decree? Does anyone have physical custody, or have they both been trading off custody?

Has she also filed for custody? Has their father?

 

[SM5NY]

If there was no prior child support order before and she never filed til now, she can not get back child support for the prior 3 years.... (if I read that correctly). Once the make a judgement they can back date to the day she filed.
Do you have any thoughts on trying to gain custody since of these children? Is there any other custody order??

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Tell fiance to file an answer requesting child support and full custody with visitation to the mother. If you have them at least 1/2 of the time, then it will be a wash.

 

[stephy382004]

No Custody decision

TY girls and guys...........This is definetly helping us understand a little better. I will show him your posts.

As for some other info;

There was no set child custody just the divorce papers stated it would be shared. And that no child support required as long as the father paid for certain expenses on the children. Which for the most part he has. They are covered medically. They are insured under his life insurance.Plus the usual expenses that go along with having children. But the paper work states that at any time she can file for child support.

She is a good mother, she does alot with the girls and she finally got a job, ( not even in the field she went to school for) but it seems to me that she sees how well WE are doing and what we can give the children here has made her angry and resentful.

The father was informed that the oldest girl would be going on ritilin and that if he didn't like it she would take him to court. Also the father instructed her not to keep signing her up for so many projects due to the fact that the ritilin was suppose to help her focus on her bad grades and attention in school. But she kept signing her up for alot of things. He told her one sport should be enough along with the GirlScouts and her school work. She threatend him again with court when they argued over these matters. Which he was paying for half.


Thanks for your help,
Steph

 

[nextwife]

I have an ADD kid on Adderall (which does not require the regular blood monitoring that Ritalin does). If this child IS truly ADD, then distractablity and overstimulation are issues to consider. He may wish to ask for mediation on cooperating in planning an appropriate routine.

He SHOULD also take Breezy's advice. File for custody or SHARED custody. He seems to have her as much as Mom does.

 

[LdiJ]

I have an ADD kid on Adderall (which does not require the regular blood monitoring that Ritalin does). If this child IS truly ADD, then distractablity and overstimulation are issues to consider. He may wish to ask for mediation on cooperating in planning an appropriate routine.

He SHOULD also take Breezy's advice. File for custody or SHARED custody. He seems to have her as much as Mom does.

However if his income is higher than mom's, most likely he would still have to pay some child support, even in a 50/50 situation.

 

[nextwife]

And for all we know mom makes more than dad. I have many friends who have incomes comparable to their husband's.

I sure don't automatically presume that any male is any more capable or likely to pull in a good income than any female is. Why do so many woman just accept the concept that woman can't be expected to do as well in the workforce as men? It's not 1965 anymore.

 

[SM5NY]

And for all we know mom makes more than dad. I have many friends who have incomes comparable to their husband's.

I sure don't automatically presume that any male is any more capable or likely to pull in a good income than any female is. Why do so many woman just accept the concept that woman can't be expected to do as well in the workforce as men? It's not 1965 anymore.

YOU SAID IT NEXTWIFE!!!

 

[SM5NY]

Yeah take Breezy advice and go for custody and SC. If the mother is spiteful, you'll just find yourselves in court for everything little thing and there a child who needs special care involved.
If in the divorce papers it was established shared custody with no CS at that time but can be modified. Then all of that is what you need to change.