Filing Question

[truegrit]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Maryland

I don't know if anyone can help me with this question or not but here goes...

Last custody decision was made in a county in Virginia, since I lived in NC and the other party was supposed to move to NC the case was supposed to be transferred to NC.

The other party did not end up moving to NC but is living in a different county in Virginia(with the children) than the county last custody decision was made in.

I have moved to Maryland right next door to Virginia.

Where do I need to file for custody modifications? What area do I need to be getting a lawyer in?

I know it is confusing, that is why I don't even know where to begin.

Thank you!

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Maryland

I don't know if anyone can help me with this question or not but here goes...

Last custody decision was made in a county in Virginia, since I lived in NC and the other party was supposed to move to NC the case was supposed to be transferred to NC.

The other party did not end up moving to NC but is living in a different county in Virginia(with the children) than the county last custody decision was made in.

I have moved to Maryland right next door to Virginia.

Where do I need to file for custody modifications? What area do I need to be getting a lawyer in?

I know it is confusing, that is why I don't even know where to begin.

Thank you!

VA would retain jurisdiction. It would probably be wise to agree to transfer the case to the county where the children reside. In the end that's likely to be where it ends up anyway, and it would save a lot of time and effort. Get a consult with an attorney in that county to discuss that.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Maryland

I don't know if anyone can help me with this question or not but here goes...

Last custody decision was made in a county in Virginia, since I lived in NC and the other party was supposed to move to NC the case was supposed to be transferred to NC.

The other party did not end up moving to NC but is living in a different county in Virginia(with the children) than the county last custody decision was made in.

I have moved to Maryland right next door to Virginia.

Where do I need to file for custody modifications? What area do I need to be getting a lawyer in?

I know it is confusing, that is why I don't even know where to begin.

Thank you!
Visitation Question
What is the name of your state? Maryland

I have a visitation question. Visitation is set at one day per weekend. I drive two hours each way for visitation.

For the past few months, when I contact the CP to arrange visitation, I am told of the activities I have to work around. Every weekend they have had something on Saturdays until noon at least, and because of church, they are not free until 11. If I choose the Saturday, I often show up to participate in the scheduled activity and then do something on our own for the remaining bit. If on Sunday, if they are singing in the choir I show up to hear them otherwise pick them up at the CP after 11 and usually get to leave with them around 12 after they have changed out of church clothes and get organized. This leaves us a few hours to do something.

However, there are many activities I would like to do with my children on my own which would require me being able to pick them up at 9 or so. In other words a full day.

I have been getting very frustrated in not getting such time. I therefore asked the CP to look at their activity calendar for the upcoming weekends and let me know when they will have activityless weekends so I could reserve them for such activities. I have not received any dates as yet, but was told that so far up to the end of May they have none that are activity free for a whole day visitation.

The children are 5 7 and 9.

Advice?

Quote:
Originally Posted by truegrit
What is the name of your state? Maryland

I have a visitation question. Visitation is set at one day per weekend. I drive two hours each way for visitation.

For the past few months, when I contact the CP to arrange visitation, I am told of the activities I have to work around. Every weekend they have had something on Saturdays until noon at least, and because of church, they are not free until 11. If I choose the Saturday, I often show up to participate in the scheduled activity and then do something on our own for the remaining bit. If on Sunday, if they are singing in the choir I show up to hear them otherwise pick them up at the CP after 11 and usually get to leave with them around 12 after they have changed out of church clothes and get organized. This leaves us a few hours to do something.

However, there are many activities I would like to do with my children on my own which would require me being able to pick them up at 9 or so. In other words a full day.

I have been getting very frustrated in not getting such time. I therefore asked the CP to look at their activity calendar for the upcoming weekends and let me know when they will have activityless weekends so I could reserve them for such activities. I have not received any dates as yet, but was told that so far up to the end of May they have none that are activity free for a whole day visitation.

The children are 5 7 and 9.

Advice?

Also how long have you been apart?
Why were you only granted 1 weekend day per month? Was that because you were in NC?
Have you filed to modify Visitation?
What exactly do the visitation orders say?
Is there anything re your conduct or fitness affecting visitation?
Are you current with child support?

 

[kidoday]

Quote:

Are you current with child support?

What does this have to do with visitation?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Quote:

Are you current with child support?

What does this have to do with visitation?

OP is getting far less than usual visitation and being twarted at that. Essentially a long drive and getting 1/2 of the visitation, I was asking common questions so as to determine possible options. Sometimes NCP are not current with CS and CP uses that against them for visitation thinking it will keep NCP out of court, because NCP may believe the issues are linked when in fact they are not. Remember OP is asking questions. OP posted 2 different related questions. One might assume that both CP & NCP are new at this and not clear on how custody and visitation work. It is possible that OP was only awarded or agreed to 1 weekend day a month because of the greater distance, when CP failed to move to NC as promised OP moved to MD to be closer to children. And instead of seeing the children is getting half of what is ordered.

OP Is the county in which the original order was issued closer to you now that you are in MD or is the current county in VA?

 

[kidoday]

OP is getting far less than usual visitation and being twarted at that. Essentially a long drive and getting 1/2 of the visitation, I was asking common questions so as to determine possible options. Sometimes NCP are not current with CS and CP uses that against them for visitation thinking it will keep NCP out of court, because NCP may believe the issues are linked when in fact they are not. Remember OP is asking questions. OP posted 2 different related questions. One might assume that both CP & NCP are new at this and not clear on how custody and visitation work. It is possible that OP was only awarder or agreed to 1 weekend day a month because of the greater distance, when CP failed to move to NC as promised OP moved to MD to be closer to children. And instead of seeing the children is getting half of what is ordered.

OP Is the county in which the original order was issued closer to you now that you are in MD or is the current county in VA?

You should have stated this. It is very misleading to the poster, especially when they are new. It throws up a red flag immediately.

I am wishy washy on what to tell OP. I mean, he has been attending all the childrens events, which I believe all parents should do. If he were with the mother, he would be doing this anyway. So what do you tell a person to do? Make the child not participate, because it is your day; or join in? I know the legal standing, advice, and I don't like it.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

You should have stated this. It is very misleading to the poster, especially when they are new. It throws up a red flag immediately.

I am wishy washy on what to tell OP. I mean, he has been attending all the childrens events, which I believe all parents should do. If he were with the mother, he would be doing this anyway. So what do you tell a person to do? Make the child not participate, because it is your day; or join in? I know the legal standing, advice, and I don't like it.

Why is it misleading to ask OP a direct question rather than assume as you are doing? Once I have the answer to the question, I can advise appropriately. The only red flag is your reaction, and your opinion that you dislike the legal advice you know we have to give based on what facts have been presented thus far. Why is a valid question a red flag, because it contridicts your personal opinion?

The question is about visitation and NCP getting their time. The legal issue and advice is clear per the order, NCP gets one weekend day per month, without CP's interference. It is not CP's place to decide or control NCP's parenting time, or for you to decide your advice on what he should do with the time, that is why we need more information. As it stands, first CP was going to move to be closer, in the same state so the children would be close to NCP, now they have failed to do that, so NCP moves and still can't get visitation. RED FLAG

The question is not how NCP should use their parenting time, that is where you are confusing opinion with fact and advice.

The question then becomes, what are NCP's rights, currently and what can be done, what are his options that both allow his exercise of parenting time and maintains the best interest of the children?

CP doesn't seem to have a problem moving the children as long as their move and activities don't allow father his parenting time. RED FLAG

OP is willing to schedule so has to have uninterrupted parenting time but CP can't find any, for months, CP's actions are the red flags not my question.

 

[Ron1347]

I'm just curious...might that visitation order by any chance, anywhere within it, contain the word or phrase in any way shape or form, "reasonable visitation", as opposed to being very clearly specified? I've seen and heard of it many-a-time, and boy has it ever been the primary 'screw' to the ncp, and virtually left to the discretion (excuse) of the cp, to deny deny deny. I've seen those two words as quite dangerous to the ncp if allowed to slip into the judgement. Just asking.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I'm just curious...might that visitation order by any chance, anywhere within it, contain the word or phrase in any way shape or form, "reasonable visitation", as opposed to being very clearly specified? I've seen and heard of it many-a-time, and boy has it ever been the primary 'screw' to the ncp, and virtually left to the discretion (excuse) of the cp, to deny deny deny. I've seen those two words as quite dangerous to the ncp if allowed to slip into the judgement. Just asking.

That's why I asked "What exactly do the visitation orders say?" But because of what is in the 2 threads say it appears to be 1 weekend day per month.

 

[kidoday]

Why is it misleading to ask OP a direct question rather than assume as you are doing? Once I have the answer to the question, I can advise appropriately. The only red flag is your reaction, and your opinion that you dislike the legal advice you know we have to give based on what facts have been presented thus far. Why is a valid question a red flag, because it contridicts your personal opinion?

The question is about visitation and NCP getting their time. The legal issue and advice is clear per the order, NCP gets one weekend day per month, without CP's interference. It is not CP's place to decide or control NCP's parenting time, or for you to decide your advice on what he should do with the time, that is why we need more information. As it stands, first CP was going to move to be closer, in the same state so the children would be close to NCP, now they have failed to do that, so NCP moves and still can't get visitation. RED FLAG

The question is not how NCP should use their parenting time, that is where you are confusing opinion with fact and advice.

The question then becomes, what are NCP's rights, currently and what can be done, what are his options that both allow his exercise of parenting time and maintains the best interest of the children?

CP doesn't seem to have a problem moving the children as long as their move and activities don't allow father his parenting time. RED FLAG

OP is willing to schedule so has to have uninterrupted parenting time but CP can't find any, for months, CP's actions are the red flags not my question.

You are definately throwing RED FLAGS up everywhere in this statement.

I did not assume anything in my post. You did when you asked the question if he were behind in child support. That question to a person that is not up on the law would make one believe that hey, she can do this if I am behind. Your question was open ended and you know it.

I am also not confused where the time should be spent. I would bet the order doesn't state he has to spend his day around the childrens activities. I am not confused on advice here. What I said, is I am wishy washy on legal advice, because my opinion of how the day should be spent differs with what my legal advice would be.

 

[truegrit]

Hi,

Sorry for not responding sooner, today was my daughter's birthday party, so I just got home from that.

The visitation arrangement was made as an agreement. We didn't go to trial we agreed to it and the judge approved. I had no place for children for overnights at the time so instead of the every other weekend we set once a week during day as the visitation order. The order has no right of removal written for me, because at the time I was considering moving to NY and the CP was acting like I would kidnap the children or something. Since at the time the agreement had us all living in NC, I didn't have any issue with that clause. I could bring my kids to where I was even if only for day.

Now since I am across state line, my kids can't even come to see my place, and I have rooms and beds all set up for them. The CP says the order says no so until a judge changes it we must stick to it. I then invited them all, CP included to come here. So if concerns for where I lived or anything like that was what was going on it would clear those concerns.

All I hear from CP is...judge ordered, until judge decides. This didn't go to trial. I had no means to provide a place for the children at the time so wasn't going to battle, thus we made an agreement. Now it all seems to be backfiring on me now that I do have a wonderful place for my kids to at least visit.

I am up on child support.

 

[LdiJ]

Hi,

Sorry for not responding sooner, today was my daughter's birthday party, so I just got home from that.

The visitation arrangement was made as an agreement. We didn't go to trial we agreed to it and the judge approved. I had no place for children for overnights at the time so instead of the every other weekend we set once a week during day as the visitation order. The order has no right of removal written for me, because at the time I was considering moving to NY and the CP was acting like I would kidnap the children or something. Since at the time the agreement had us all living in NC, I didn't have any issue with that clause. I could bring my kids to where I was even if only for day.

Now since I am across state line, my kids can't even come to see my place, and I have rooms and beds all set up for them. The CP says the order says no so until a judge changes it we must stick to it. I then invited them all, CP included to come here. So if concerns for where I lived or anything like that was what was going on it would clear those concerns.

All I hear from CP is...judge ordered, until judge decides. This didn't go to trial. I had no means to provide a place for the children at the time so wasn't going to battle, thus we made an agreement. Now it all seems to be backfiring on me now that I do have a wonderful place for my kids to at least visit.

I am up on child support.

The CP doesn't have any obligation to do anything other than obey the court order...even if it was an agreement that simply got a judge's signature. It sounds like the agreement wasn't specific as to which day you get each week. If so, therein lies a big part of your problem.

It sounds like it time for you to take it back to court. It doesn't sound like you have any real power to do anything "contempt-wise".

Obviously you need to petition for modification...to get a set schedule and to get something better than one day a week. Every other weekend, alternating holidays and school holidays and a share of the summer would be the minimum you should be asking for.

To get back to your original question (unless I mixed you up with someone else)...You need to consult with an attorney in your ex's county. Most likely that county is the appropriate venue for your petition.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

This is best handled by an attorney, it is important to file for modification in the correct jurisdiction, or you will be put off.
What county was the order signed in?
What county are they in now?
Which is closer to you?
How long have they been where they are now?
You will need to know what you want, standard visitation or something different. Instead of every other weekend, perhaps, one weekend a month and 9-10 weeks in the summer instead of 6 weeks, this would disrupt their activities less and also less travel time. You will also need to get permission to leave the state, this should be no problem as the greater Washington area includes DC, VA, MD you can cross state lines 3 times in less than ten miles.

Depending on the answers, you may or not want to file in their current county.

 

[truegrit]

Thank you for your responses.

I will file where the children are now, that is closest to me.

I could never do one weekend a month. One day a week is hard enough on the children. They ask me each week when they can live with me again. I could never be apart from them that much, and they honestly couldn't do this either.

Thank you all again