Finally got somewhere after 3 1/2 yrs

[RPS]

What is the name of your state? RI

This is the case of the mother moving from state to state (RI-NY-FL-RI-FL-RI) . She finally came back to RI after not seeing my daughter for 3 1/2 yrs she is now 7. I have joint custody, I get her every Tues. & Thurs. 4-8pm, and every other weekend Sat 6:45am-5pm Sun 11-6pm.

The 1st visit she said that the child was sick.
The 2nd she said she wasn't going to be home til 4:30 when I went to pick her up she was not there except for her boyfriend whom said she was at his mothers house.

Finally got her on Sat & Sun.

5th visit was supposed to have her until 8pm mother said no 7pm.

I have tape recorded all our conversations so far.

My daughter is enjoying her time w/myself, wife and her 3 siblings. It is like she never left. Actually everytime I say it is time to go she doesn't want to leave.

There are no overnights yet, we go back for a 45day review.

Question is what to do about an interfering boyfriend, whom she listens to.
For instance I am supposed to pick her up from daycare on Tue & Thurs.
But as of yet he picks her up. And I heard him in the background, when I called her for the 1st visit say "he is not picking her up from daycare". Then ironically she was sick.

Also on my Sat visit when I dropped her off at home after knocking a few times the mother answered the door and I got hit in the face w/a strong smell of weed.

What should I do could I insist on physical possession of my daughter. If she or her boyfriend whom she lives w/are using drugs.???

any information is helpful.
Thanks in advance.

 

[Zephyr]

if that door opens and you smell pot- call the police and have them come immediately and investigate before you send your daughter in.

 

[Zephyr]

also document every exchange, even if it goes well, mom's late, won't release child, not there, etc. you could end up with a very obvious pattern

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? RI

This is the case of the mother moving from state to state (RI-NY-FL-RI-FL-RI) . She finally came back to RI after not seeing my daughter for 3 1/2 yrs she is now 7. I have joint custody, I get her every Tues. & Thurs. 4-8pm, and every other weekend Sat 6:45am-5pm Sun 11-6pm.

The 1st visit she said that the child was sick.
The 2nd she said she wasn't going to be home til 4:30 when I went to pick her up she was not there except for her boyfriend whom said she was at his mothers house.

Finally got her on Sat & Sun.

5th visit was supposed to have her until 8pm mother said no 7pm.

I have tape recorded all our conversations so far.

My daughter is enjoying her time w/myself, wife and her 3 siblings. It is like she never left. Actually everytime I say it is time to go she doesn't want to leave.

There are no overnights yet, we go back for a 45day review.

Question is what to do about an interfering boyfriend, whom she listens to.
For instance I am supposed to pick her up from daycare on Tue & Thurs.
But as of yet he picks her up. And I heard him in the background, when I called her for the 1st visit say "he is not picking her up from daycare". Then ironically she was sick.

Also on my Sat visit when I dropped her off at home after knocking a few times the mother answered the door and I got hit in the face w/a strong smell of weed.

What should I do could I insist on physical possession of my daughter. If she or her boyfriend whom she lives w/are using drugs.???

any information is helpful.
Thanks in advance.

In addition to what was posted above:

Follow the court ordered visitation schedule. If you show up and are denied visitation- call the police and ask to file a report. (Have your court order with you). Do this EVERY TIME you are denied...if it happens multiple times, file in court for contempt.

 

[kpepperz]

What is the name of your state? RI

5th visit was supposed to have her until 8pm mother said no 7pm.

Question is what to do about an interfering boyfriend, whom she listens to.
For instance I am supposed to pick her up from daycare on Tue & Thurs.
But as of yet he picks her up. And I heard him in the background, when I called her for the 1st visit say "he is not picking her up from daycare".
any information is helpful.
Thanks in advance.

If the court order says 8pm, it's 8pm. If she tries to go to the cops, they will tell her 8pm is 8pm.

And the boyfriend has no say so in this what so ever. Can you take the court order to the daycare and tell them they can only release her to you on those days?

As far as thw weed smell, I agree with Casa. Call the cops immediately and have them come there. It is in the best interest of your child.

 

[RPS]

Thanks for the advice.

I was supposed to have a visit today from 4-8pm and she called and left a message on my answering maching a 1/2 hour before i was supposed to pick her up, stating I wasn't picking her up from her house and that I was not getting her today, and that she was at work so couldn't talk about it,

I called her house and her boyfriend answered ( I recorded the whole conversation) I asked him what was going on he said I wasn't picking up my daughter and I had to talk to my ex about it he didn't know why. He said she talked to her lawyer today and he advised her not to let her come over anymore. No reason stated. I called my lawyer, I am still waiting for his call to find out what the deal is from her lawyer.

I would love to know what lies she is telling know. My daughter enjoys coming over as I stated earlier and enjoys playing w/her 3 younger siblings.
I had to try to explain today to my oldest son why his sister wasn't coming over. He is only 5. What do you say?? (His sisters mother is crazy)

 

[Zephyr]

why did you not call the police and file a report and have them enforce your visitation order?

 

[Ron1347]

why did you not call the police and file a report and have them enforce your visitation order?

That's what 'I' want to know! Even if her attorney advised her not to let you have your daughter for 'your' designated visitation time, I'm assuming there was no emergency order by a judge preventing you from 'your' visitation time. Take your visitation orders, get a cop, and go to her house, where the boyfriend has your daughter, and have the 'cop' demand the boyfriend release your daughter to you! It 'should' be just that simple...'I' would 'think'! The boyfriend has 'no' choice but to comply!

P.S. I should have added.....my son once did that same thing. Denied the NCP a day of 'her' 'scheduled' visitation time. Son went off to work, leaving grandsons with 'me'. Mother showed up at my doorstep, her visitation orders in hand, with a cop, and I was 'ordered' to turn the kids over to her 'immediately'! And brother I do mean 'immediately'!!

 

[RPS]

I spoke w/ my lawyer today. He spoke w/her lawyer she is using the fact that yes I made the mistake of putting my 7yr old in the front seat. But it was once, now that I know I will put her in a booster in the back. This is what she told her lawyer and won't let me have her. Her lawyer advised her to just follow the court order, but I guess she just kept carrying on about stuff so he told her to do what she wants and if she doesn't like his advice she can find a new lawyer. He told this to my lawyer today, and he thinks she is crazy and is fet up w/her. Finally her true colors are shining through to him. I am still waiting for my court order w/ the judges signature, my lawyer said I should have it by today. My next visit is Tuesday. She doesn't know I know all this. So as someone said no her lawyer is not issueing any emergency order I think he is just going to let her hang her self.

So I will continue w/my order, because I should have the original in hand by the next visit.

Question though, If my ex is not present when I pick up my daughter and say her boyfriend has her at home and I go there and he refuses, I then call the cops, If he still refuses can he get arrested?

The other thing is if she is not at daycare or at home, I know she hides her at her boyfriends parents house, can I go there, and again demand to take my daughter, if they refuse call the cops, and again if they still refuse can they be arrested?

 

[casa]

I spoke w/ my lawyer today. He spoke w/her lawyer she is using the fact that yes I made the mistake of putting my 7yr old in the front seat. But it was once, now that I know I will put her in a booster in the back. This is what she told her lawyer and won't let me have her. Her lawyer advised her to just follow the court order, but I guess she just kept carrying on about stuff so he told her to do what she wants and if she doesn't like his advice she can find a new lawyer. He told this to my lawyer today, and he thinks she is crazy and is fet up w/her. Finally her true colors are shining through to him. I am still waiting for my court order w/ the judges signature, my lawyer said I should have it by today. My next visit is Tuesday. She doesn't know I know all this. So as someone said no her lawyer is not issueing any emergency order I think he is just going to let her hang her self.

So I will continue w/my order, because I should have the original in hand by the next visit.

Question though, If my ex is not present when I pick up my daughter and say her boyfriend has her at home and I go there and he refuses, I then call the cops, If he still refuses can he get arrested?

The other thing is if she is not at daycare or at home, I know she hides her at her boyfriends parents house, can I go there, and again demand to take my daughter, if they refuse call the cops, and again if they still refuse can they be arrested?

Do you have front passenger airbags? If not- why is she complaining you put the child in the front seat? I believe it is 6years AND 60pounds for car seat...the only rule re; front seat is related to airbags.

 

[RPS]

I do have front seat air bags. But she doesn't know that she never came out and looked in my car. I just wasn't sure of the age requirements. It is not like I intended on endangering my child.

 

[RPS]

Found out the law

She doesn't have a leg to stand on in the matter of me putting her in the front seat. I checked out the laws at the RI DMV site and I called the police station twice to confirm the law. They said that a child age 4-8 can sit in the front seat as long as the seat belt is across her lap and shoulders.

I called my ex to explain this and she still is in denial, I even told her to call the police station and they will tell them herself. She refused and says I put my daughters life at risk. I even told her that if it makes her happy I would put her in the back. She still doesn't want to hear it. She is looking for anything.

 

[jJellybean]

Do you have front passenger airbags? If not- why is she complaining you put the child in the front seat? I believe it is 6years AND 60pounds for car seat...the only rule re; front seat is related to airbags.

RI state law is 12 for a front seat passenger or 80lbs. HOWEVER it is not reccommended. Even a small adult faces serious injury from an airbag deploy.