FLA I need legal advice but I need support from other fathers also.

[djmastr111]

Please help me I can't afford an attorney. I have the support of my childs school and doctor but they are hesitant to write a letter on my sons behalf for me to submit to the court. I'm filing a modification I have joint custody I'm the father My son is with me every week Friday to Monday I live in Florida. His mother refuses asthma and allergy medication and to put him back in school. I am worried if I take these things into my own hands *(putting him in school and having him evaluated for autism) I will be in trouble from the courts but his mother won't do it. The court order does not specify custody or parental decision making only that there is a paper titled Order on Visitation #9 Parents shall converse and jointly decide on all major decisions concerning minor child. We are unable to agree on anything. I don't want to lose days his mothers boyfriend is a bad person swearing at my sons teachers and school staff which is why he is not welcome back to the school and now my son is not in school. I've filed 3 contempts for refusing my weekend without calling. I've tried to work things out. Her boyfriend is always in the background cussing at me and now my son is cussing all the time the school told me that all the children learned the F word from my son. The school says the same thing he does that to them too. My son does not like his mom I don't like her but I don't let him know that he is 4 he needs help the school evaluated him and want him in special classes his mother is refusing to get him in.
My sons face lights up every week when he comes to my house he is happy all weekend for the last few years. He gets very upset when it is time for him to go home. I don't know why he does not talk very well and never speaks a word about what goes on over there at his mothers. It worries me but I have sent DCF in the past and they say things are alright.

 

[Isis1]

Please help me I can't afford an attorney. I have the support of my childs school and doctor but they are hesitant to write a letter on my sons behalf for me to submit to the court. I'm filing a modification I have joint custody I'm the father My son is with me every week Friday to Monday I live in Florida. His mother refuses asthma and allergy medication and to put him back in school. I am worried if I take these things into my own hands *(putting him in school and having him evaluated for autism) I will be in trouble from the courts but his mother won't do it. The court order does not specify custody or parental decision making only that there is a paper titled Order on Visitation #9 Parents shall converse and jointly decide on all major decisions concerning minor child. We are unable to agree on anything. I don't want to lose days his mothers boyfriend is a bad person swearing at my sons teachers and school staff which is why he is not welcome back to the school and now my son is not in school. I've filed 3 contempts. I've tried to work things out. Her boyfriend is always in the background cussing at me. The school says the same thing he does that to them too. My son does not like his mom I don't like her but I don't let him know that he is 4 he needs help the school evaluated him and want him in special classes his mother is refusing to get him in.
My sons face lights up every week when he comes to my house he is happy all weekend for the last few years. He gets very upset when it is time for him to go home. I don't know why he does not talk very well and never speaks a word about what goes on over there at his mothers. It worries me but I have sent DCF in the past and they say things are alright.

there's a reason i'm asking. why do you think your son is autistic? and when was the last time you spoke to the child's doctor?

 

[Proserpina]

Please help me I can't afford an attorney. I have the support of my childs school and doctor but they are hesitant to write a letter on my sons behalf for me to submit to the court. I'm filing a modification I have joint custody I'm the father My son is with me every week Friday to Monday I live in Florida. His mother refuses asthma and allergy medication and to put him back in school. I am worried if I take these things into my own hands *(putting him in school and having him evaluated for autism) I will be in trouble from the courts but his mother won't do it. The court order does not specify custody or parental decision making only that there is a paper titled Order on Visitation #9 Parents shall converse and jointly decide on all major decisions concerning minor child. We are unable to agree on anything. I don't want to lose days his mothers boyfriend is a bad person swearing at my sons teachers and school staff which is why he is not welcome back to the school and now my son is not in school. I've filed 3 contempts for refusing my weekend without calling. I've tried to work things out. Her boyfriend is always in the background cussing at me and now my son is cussing all the time the school told me that all the children learned the F word from my son. The school says the same thing he does that to them too. My son does not like his mom I don't like her but I don't let him know that he is 4 he needs help the school evaluated him and want him in special classes his mother is refusing to get him in.
My sons face lights up every week when he comes to my house he is happy all weekend for the last few years. He gets very upset when it is time for him to go home. I don't know why he does not talk very well and never speaks a word about what goes on over there at his mothers. It worries me but I have sent DCF in the past and they say things are alright.

How do you know he doesn't "like his Mom"?

 

[djmastr111]

Well it's not just me I took him to his doctor. This will be kind of long heres my explaination and I'm sorry. I took him to the ER after he had a rash the doctor there said "autism...right?" I said I don't know he said yea that's it after he handed him the stethoscope for some reason. When he was born up to now he does not really respond to his name or even move he is scared of loud noises and vaccumes loud vehicles and things of that nature. Now on to the story the ER doctor wrote a script for cream for a rash that the school told me about after I was picking him up for my weekend and they had told his mother about it the day before it was terrible on his privates. I took the script from the ER to the pharmacy and asked if he had ever had any other medications from there in hope to find out his medicaid information that his mother refused me and I didn't want to file contempt for just that. The pharmacy tech showed me a list of 12 medications that included an asthma inhaler and antibiotics I had never knew about. I asked for the doctor and they told me so I looked up the doctor got the phone number and made an appointment and took him a week later. His doctor was going to refer me to have him checked for autism and gave me some advice on how to handle children with autism. He told me he had gave his mother the same referral a week earlier for the autism evaluation so I said I will leave it up to her (I was worried about getting into trouble from the courts). He also faxed 2 scripts to the pharmacy for inhalers and allergy meds. An hour later my sons mother called and said why wasn't he in school I told her about the doctors appt she got mad yelled at me and demanded I bring her son home so I did. I went to the pharmacy to get the meds and they had been picked up already so that weekend I asked my sons mother for the meds because one was for his school. She said "No the asthma inhaler is as needed" I got upset and said "he as needs it when he is at my house too" she refused and this was a month and a half ago. I just filed a modification because the contempts don't do any good. His school counselor believes he is autistic also his mother does not think there is anything wrong I believe it isn't autism but maybe ashbergers.

 

[djmastr111]

I think he doesn't like his mother because he tells me "make there be no more mommy" I can't stand it. After 4 days with me he should be so happy to go see mommy and her boyfriend. I would think he would want to go see her but he won't even talk to her on the phone when I bring him back to her he starts crying and she doesn't say anything but it makes me think that she is thinking that I did something to him to make him cry. His mother says she can't stand me and I'm a bad father but she leaves him with me for weeks at a time sometimes and its confusing because I wouldn't leave him with her any longer than I am required by court because of the things I believe are going on in there home.

 

[Isis1]

okay. you're kind of all over the place here. so let's do one thing at a time.

take the child to an evaluation on YOUR parenting time. you've been told by a medical professional. (i had a 5 year old who is also autistic, i know the steps)

once the evaluation is done, sit down and talk to mom. if she refuses...that's fine. just keep in mind...for some parents, learning your child is autistic can be hard and jolting. some parents won't accept it for years. my other son's dad still refuses to accept he's ADHD. so poo to him.

now, you may have to request a modification for therapy. you WANT a therapist to be familiar with your home AND mom's home.

talk to the school after a diagnosis is done and if it comes back so they can get started on an IEP. also check with your local regional center so you can sign up for parenting classes. hand over the information to mom.

 

[djmastr111]

And I am confused and upset right now but thats because I've tried at all costs to avoid court because the attorneys says I can lose days and time and rights. They say in my situation it is possible but unlikely but it bothers me because I don't want to do this but I think it's the only way to get him back into school and get him the help he needs. I think his mother is in denial or that her boyfriend is holding her back he is 52 and she is 23 I am 24 and it's just strange not that she has another boyfriend it's been 3 years just the age thing makes me believe he is a child molester or something and that his 3 children were taken from his by his own parents which I never brought up in court because I'm not trying to take my son from her I want her to do what makes her happy so that when my son is with her he can be happy but I think it's the drugs which I will not bring up in court either. I am attempting to do this without making her look bad (narcissist).

 

[Isis1]

deleted.

okay. from this point forward, do not share that opinion outloud again. he loves his mommy. just like he loves his daddy. when he says "no more mommy" you correct him. you remind him his mommy loves him. i don't care what disability your son has, stop letting him play you.

 

[djmastr111]

I'm sorry they did give him an IEP and I think if he gets into these ESE Exceptional something classes soon within the next month that he will be ready for kindergarden. I did request on my petition for modification for a guardian ad litem or parenting cordinater which I was hoping would be free since we are both pretty poor. That they would help us.

 

[Isis1]

And I am confused and upset right now but thats because I've tried at all costs to avoid court because the attorneys says I can lose days and time and rights. They say in my situation it is possible but unlikely but it bothers me because I don't want to do this but I think it's the only way to get him back into school and get him the help he needs. I think his mother is in denial or that her boyfriend is holding her back he is 52 and she is 23 I am 24 and it's just strange not that she has another boyfriend it's been 3 years just the age thing makes me believe he is a child molester or something and that his 3 children were taken from his by his own parents which I never brought up in court because I'm not trying to take my son from her I want her to do what makes her happy so that when my son is with her he can be happy but I think it's the drugs which I will not bring up in court either. I am attempting to do this without making her look bad (narcissist).

you don't need to make mom look bad. she can do that on her own. you worry about your son. she will have therapists in her home at least twice a week if the services are applied for. that means mandated reporters in the home. i know, i have them. speech and behavior. plus school involvment. there's no way to hide everything if there is something going on.

 

[djmastr111]

okay. from this point forward, do not share that opinion outloud again. he loves his mommy. just like he loves his daddy. when he says "no more mommy" you correct him. you remind him his mommy loves him. i don't care what disability your son has, stop letting him play you.

He is good at getting me to give him whatever he wants he is great at it. I do tell him good things about his mom I never speak badly about her in front of him. It does bother me that she puts her boyfriend down as dad on school papers and doesn't even mention me on them.

 

[djmastr111]

How do I take off the quote? It's crazy how much love I feel when my son is at my house he is the greatest person I've ever met, my best friend. I've given up everything partying, drugs, girls It's all about him I've been clean for 3 years, single for 3 years. It's pretty amazing what a loving child can do.

 

[ecmst12]

Going to court is a good thing for everyone, if it's necessary.

You have him on the weekends, "fun time". Mom has him during the week, "work time". Not surprising it seems he has more fun with you. And he may be the same way at mom's when it's time for YOU to pick him up. Sometimes kids have a hard time with transitions, but the only way to make it better is to enforce the routine and help them learn to cope.

 

[djmastr111]

That is possible I've thought of that but when they pull up in her car beside me he is very happy he starts glowing. He is crying from the time he has to put his shoes on to go home to his mom until after they leave she gets mad at me because he has a laptop here and they don't allow him any electronics for what reason I'm not sure. Is the refusal of his asthma inhaler really not a big deal? Am I too worried about that and am I too worried about her not putting him into his new school for his special classes they did want him in this new school because there are 2 teachers and 5 students they said he needs more individual attention. They are going to further evaluate him there also. He was supposed to start on the 5th and it's the 26th now and he still hasnt started. Is all this not a big deal because I was going to file for an emergency ex-parte hearing and request full temporary custody until we can have a hearing to figure out the modification. I don't know if that is going to qualify for an emergency to restrict her time sharing or not what do you think?

 

[djmastr111]

I apologize but about your signature about lawsuits I have also never had anything to gain monetarily for suing for custody I still pay child support as if I had no custody and have never asked to claim him as a dependent but do you think I have a right to these things now? (Lower child support and to claim him as a dependent every other year or maybe the next two years and we split it after that?