No revenge but what if my son test positive for smoking with his father? Do I punish my son for his idiot father promoting smoking weed or do I pursue the father by pressing charges? Ohio, why can't I press charges? I am listening to what you are saying but I'm trying to understand so I can use all possible options. It is not a revenge game, I'm just concerned that this will slip through the judicial cracks.
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For Ohiogal,Escape2 and SingleAzdad!
- Thread starter ray123
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yes you punish him! he is old enough not to hide behind an adult. your child KNOWS that drugs are illegal. he CAN say no. he doesn't have to be disprespectful about it, but he CAN say no. it's your responsibility to instill that sense of maturity in your child. are you going to be okay when your son robs a bank with his father? do you really think the law takes into consideration "because dad told me to do it" defense? he will get punished.ps..he tested positive for smoking marijuana, you can't test positive for smoking WITH someone.
>Charlotte<
Lurker
Because you don't get to decide who gets charged and who doesn't, with regard to criminal matters. That's up to the D. A.
And of course you punish your son! I'm not condoning what your ex has allegedly done, but your son knows the difference between right and wrong, legal and illegal. I don't care who's rolling the joints, the fact that your son chooses to smoke them is the first thing you need to address. You seem to be a lot more interested in what you could do to your ex than what you should do for your son.
You can say it's not a "revenge game", but if it waddles and quacks and has a feathery butt...
Lets get something straght here. No child and I mean NO CHILD at the age of 14 should have to decide about not smoking pot with their parent for God Sake! What the hell is the world coming to? Your telling me that my Son should be the parent and say NO to his father. I agree he should say no to everyone regarding illegal acts but when the peer pressure is coming from his own father how sick is that!! The only revenge I want is for that sick ******* to do some time in jail for smoking weed with my son. Am I the only parent in here who would not pursue Criminal charges? When it comes to my son it is not peace, love and harmony with Druggie dad but what is in the best interest of my son. For me the best interest is to pursue every avenue Cival, Criminal, OCS, Judge, Juror and Executioner!
ProSeDadinMD
Senior Member
ray, I'm thinking maybe you need to smoke some wacky tabacky(when your son isn't around, of course
), relax, and reread the advice you were given by og(you know, the lawyer who gave you good advice a few posts back?).Any resemblence of the foregoing to actual legal advice is strictly coincidental
...wileybunch
Senior Member
OK, so Dad sucks and shouldn't have placed his son in that position, but you need to keep straight in your mind a few things. One is that you only know that happened a year ago, not that it's still happening. So you can't know that son is ONLY smoking with Dad now if he tests positive. If he tests positive, deal with that, don't deal with all the what ifs because you will never get yourself out of that circle. Also keep in mind the punishments that were suggested to you -- none of them will kill your son. If his world is made smaller, he can enlarge it through negative drug tests. That is no big whoop -- unless he has developed an addiction. Then you will need to make sure you address that. It matters on some levels how your son got started into drugs, but on other levels it doesn't because if you need to help him change a behavior through consequences, YOU DO IT. You don't waste time hand wringing or afraid to mete out consequences or your son will develop into an addiction in the meantime and continuing decline with grades and other undesirable social behaviors (if he hasn't already). You will have to split your energy between disciplining/helping your son and taking this to family court if you think you have a good case to prove Dad's been at the root of son's decline, but keep in mind (like OG said), if you've been the primary residential parent, you may be answering to the changes in son moreso.
Just make sure not to lose sight of what's most important because at any given time, there's only so much of you to go around.
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this is not legal advice. woman, woul dyou STOP focusing on what your ex is doing and focus on your SON!! educate your son on how to handle situations he will end up having to handle later in life. my son goes to his grandmother's house every other weekend, her husband smokes marjuana every freaking day. there is never a time when he is sober. he drives high. i can report him all i want. nobody will do anything. Not CPS, not the police, my son knows what it looks like, he knows what it smells like, but he also knows he will not live long if he touches it. it is your responsibility as a parent. if the other parent chooses not to be a parent you canot force them. you will only get grey hairs trying to! get control over your own parenting.
>Charlotte<
Lurker
What is in the best interest of your son is that he learn he should not do drugs, regardless of who gives it to him.
I'm not saying your son should be the parent and say "no". I'm saying your son should act like he has half a brain and say "no". He knows smoking pot is wrong. The fact that it's his father doing it doesn't change that--and he knows it. I've heard of kids a lot younger than 14 who have called the police on their parents for having drugs in the house. If a ten year old knows drugs are wrong, I don't know why your son can't figure it out.
If it was my ex giving drugs to my son I'd want to do a lot worse than have him arrested. You've contacted the police and they have said they'd get back to you. You may very well get what you want, and I hope you do. But you have to be realistic. It's already been stated that a test will prove your son is smoking pot but it won't prove who he's smoking it with. Even if your ex is subjected to a drug test that wouldn't prove he's giving drugs to your son.
The reality is you have very little control over what your ex does, and it's not up to you whether or not he is prosecuted. You have more control over what your son does, and that's more important anyway.
I'm not saying your son should be the parent and say "no". I'm saying your son should act like he has half a brain and say "no". He knows smoking pot is wrong. The fact that it's his father doing it doesn't change that--and he knows it. I've heard of kids a lot younger than 14 who have called the police on their parents for having drugs in the house. If a ten year old knows drugs are wrong, I don't know why your son can't figure it out.
If it was my ex giving drugs to my son I'd want to do a lot worse than have him arrested. You've contacted the police and they have said they'd get back to you. You may very well get what you want, and I hope you do. But you have to be realistic. It's already been stated that a test will prove your son is smoking pot but it won't prove who he's smoking it with. Even if your ex is subjected to a drug test that wouldn't prove he's giving drugs to your son.
The reality is you have very little control over what your ex does, and it's not up to you whether or not he is prosecuted. You have more control over what your son does, and that's more important anyway.
>Charlotte<
Lurker
Amen, and amen. You will get no better legal advice than that which you have already received from Ohiogal. The rest is just practical advice. Take it or leave it.
Ohiogal
Queen Bee
You are kidding right? NO CHILD should have to decide to say no? No child should have to make that decision at 14? Drugs are in ELEMENTARY schools for crying out loud. You are naive or stupid or hiding your head in the sand.
I am telling you that your son should say no to drugs. It has nothing to do with being a parent. It has to do with making the right choice.
How sick were you to spread your legs and procreate with his father?
Your son should also spend time in jail then. For the exact same crime. And giving your response I wonder if dad is actually to blame or junior knows your feelings about dad and feels this is a GREAT chance to get out of responsibility.
You would not? You have been blabbing and complaining that you will. And parents DO NOT pursue charges -- the D.A. does.
Executioner? I am beginning to understand your son a great deal.
ray, I'm thinking maybe you need to smoke some wacky tabacky(when your son isn't around, of course
Any resemblence of the foregoing to actual legal advice is strictly coincidental
//Hijack - Goodness Pro..I almost PMP!!! // End Hijack
ProSeDadinMD
Senior Member
wileybunch
Senior Member
Hehe!Well I 'm an old lady - when I laugh real hard anything can happen!
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