getting mental health therapy for a 17 year old

[nikkilt28]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MO

what are the law in missouri concerning getting child to a psychiatrist against their will? she is 17 years old, not living in her parents' home, and showing outward signs of severe depression. we also believe she may be mentally and emotionally abused by her boyfriend (she's not living with him either).

her school counselor has become involved but outside of school issues, it doesn't seem to me that they are doing much to help her.

forgot to add that while in the home she was physically abusive to her parents, and she's gotten into fights at school, throwing chairs and doubling up her fists to punch them.

 

[xylene]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MO

what are the law in missouri concerning getting child to a psychiatrist against their will? she is 17 years old, not living in her parents' home, and showing outward signs of severe depression. we also believe she may be mentally and emotionally abused by her boyfriend (she's not living with him either).

her school counselor has become involved but outside of school issues, it doesn't seem to me that they are doing much to help her.

forgot to add that while in the home she was physically abusive to her parents, and she's gotten into fights at school, throwing chairs and doubling up her fists to punch them.

You are not the parents, so who is we?

 

[nikkilt28]

re:

i am her aunt. her parents have involved me in everything to do with this. all of us are actively seeking avenues to help her out. her parents have been told they have no options since she is 17 years old.

 

[xylene]

i am her aunt. her parents have involved me in everything to do with this. all of us are actively seeking avenues to help her out. her parents have been told they have no options since she is 17 years old.

As her aunt you have no legal authority to force anyhting, unless you are this teens legal guardian.

I don't like "they were told" statements.

Told what and by whom? (That is a rhetorical question, don't answer.)

NO ONE, even a parent needs to put up with assault. EVER.

IF someone told them they have to, they are wrong.

FOR PARENTS

If the daughter commits an assault, call the police.

If daughter commits or threatens self injury - call the police.

If daughter is victim of a violent crime - call the police.

 

[nikkilt28]

re:

obviously i know that I cant do anything myself, especially considering she has two active parents.

and though your question is rhetorical, i will answer it anyway....the first time she left her home, they noticed her myspace had statuses that IMPLIED she was suicidal though she never came right out and said it. when the parents tried to contact the police at that time, the police officer told her parents nothng could be done until she actually STATED she wanted to kill herself.

she's been under the close supervision of her counselor at school. this is a girl that has had almost straight A's from freshman year until mid junior year. at that time she broke up with her boyfriend, went through a couple of weeks of crying quite a bit, and not eating. grades still stayed pretty steady though. this was also a girl that wouldn't even walk to the mailbox without making sure every hair was in place, perfect outfit with accessories, and perfect make up. when she came home THAT time she had actually gained some weight. her parents ran into her at Walmart the other night and she has lost an extreme amount of weight again, she looked like she hadn't showered in DAYS, hair messy pulled back into a ponytail, wearing slippers, and pajama bottoms. her parents say she looked homeless. her grades have also slipped almost to the point of failing every class in her senior year. she rarely even makes it to school. she was in a couple of gifted programs at school and one that allowed her to leave at 1 to go to work. she has been since kicked off those programs and even almost fired from work.

her friends point out all her changes and tell her she needs to go back home with her parents. she has crafted an "abused, oppressive homelife" with her friends at school. but soon her friends meet her parents or see her home life and realize that she is lying.

she did have a small breakthrough last friday in which she contacted her boyfriend and told him that he doesn't treat her well and he was telling her she was crazy and if she returned to her parents house, he would break up with her. according to one friend that checks in with my niece's parents, she is about to be kicked out of the house she is staying because she is lazy and spoiled.

i just don't think the school counselor is doing enough outside of her school performance. I would think her parents have some sort of avenue to get this kid some therapy for her problems. the school counselor tells the parents nothing can be done because of her age.

 

[Zigner]

When does she turn 18?

 

[nikkilt28]

re:

in a month, so timing is crucial.

 

[Zigner]

in a month, so timing is crucial.

THAT is why people have said that nothing can be done. There is not enough time before she turns 18.

You can look in to having her declared incompetent and having a guardian appointed...but even THAT takes time.

 

[xylene]

When you describe the full story, this girl seems like a normal teenager.

 

[Zigner]

When you describe the full story, this girl seems like a normal teenager.

I kind of agree with you. I think that this girl may be right on the edge of "normal"...but without knowing the entire family and personal situation, we really can't say.

 

[xylene]

I kind of agree with you. I think that this girl may be right on the edge of "normal"...but without knowing the entire family and personal situation, we really can't say.

I'd never diagnose by wire... lol.

However... no one is going to get anybody committed for a bad case of senioritis and the fact that they are adopting the style of 'emo' dress and personal appearance that is so fashionable these days.

 

[nikkilt28]

re: normal teenager lol

to an extent, I do agree that she is basically going through normal things.

what worries me and her parents is her extreme aggression, her extreme clinginess to this guy (like a validation via boyfriend kinda thing) and the fact that she could very well flunk out of school in the middle of her senior year. I had senioritis, skipping school all the time, letting grades slip. but skipping school is a bit different than completely blowing it off to be able to babysit the boyfriend and make sure she is the center of his universe 24/7. she is very near flunking everything and not being able to graduate. she also tells her friends horrible lies about her life at home, making my brother out to be some psychotic controlling and abusive parent. she has teachers and students alike believing that my brother does horrible things to her (though they are never SPECIFIC).

her sophmore year, she told friends that she throws up her food or just doesn't ever eat. but when they all came to her saying they want to help her with her anorexia, she got pissed, then started eating again when she realized the kids were going to teachers and her parents with their worries. then just recently she was letting people believe she was pregnant, posting statuses on her myspace with innuendos "my back hurts, my stomach hurts, i feel nauseous" even told her counselor she thought she was pregnant 2 days after asking for a tampon. lol. she would show up to school in big baggy clothes making herself look "bigger" and tell her counselor she's sick in the mornings and has to pee a lot (dumb kid doesn't even bother to study pregnancy before trying to fake it), then shows up to work in a mini skirt over leggings showing off just how skinny she is. but then when her friends start going to the school nurse or calling her parents, and even a teacher really thought she was pregnant based on her behavior...they asked if she took a test and she said she couldn't afford to buy one so they offered (with parent's permission) to get her one and let her do it at school or gave her the option to call her mother and go to a doctor, she refused and has now stopped all the previous "pregnancy" behavior. she gets all this attention, but the moment she's brought "help" it's over.

her counselor tells her parents she's never seen a kid like her before.

 

[mommyof4]

Honestly, she sounds like a manipulative twit who creates drama just to get attention. I have a relative who I swear is the older version (by about 10 years and she's still doing this crap) of this girl.

She doesn't sound suicidal. She sounds like a sneaky, lying, manipulative little girl who gives no thought to how she affects those that love her (or worse, she DOES give a lot of thought to how she affects those that love her and she gets off on it) who found a boyfriend who will put up with her lies.

Not much you or anyone can do at this point except possibly deny her the attention she is seeking. If she ever grows up (there is still hope....) then she will have a lot of damage to repair in her relationships and a lot of atoning. Let's hope she's eventually woman enough to do it.

 

[xylene]

Clue Train - CHOO CHOO

If you think that involuntary psychiatric treatment is going to be forced on a 17 year old because she is flunking out of her senior year and has a disfunctional relationship with her parents and boyfriend, you live on another planet.

 

[nikkilt28]

>>>She doesn't sound suicidal. She sounds like a sneaky, lying, manipulative little girl who gives no thought to how she affects those that love her (or worse, she DOES give a lot of thought to how she affects those that love her and she gets off on it) who found a boyfriend who will put up with her lies<<<

towards the end of the first time she left the home, she was threatening suicide. but that sob story was dropped as well.

and i totally agree with your assessment. i just feel bad for her parents. this kid was my brother's pride and joy. all he's tried to do is be a parent and protect her, as he knew the amount of freedom he had as a kid is what contributed to the trouble HE got into over the years. all he wants her to have is some ground rules to keep her out of trouble.

she gets extremely violent, always has even as a kid. i've seen her kick her mother and cuss her out, she was kicked out of her sitter's house at the age of 5 for kicking the pregnant babysitter. she kicked out a glass window at the daycare. just a couple of years ago, she punched her mother in the face after coming home for a party.

the counselor is the one that pointed out the depression. she lets herself get unhealthy, going for days without eating if she has no money, trying to walk to work in extreme heat over the summer, a supervisor had to go give her a ride to work as she tried to walk and collapsed in the heat. she's not sleeping and having extreme headaches. she isn't taking care of her eyes in respect to her contacts, so the first time she was away from home she continued to wear bad contacts and got a very bad eye infection. though she is not PURPOSELY doing harm to herself, she is putting her health in danger on a daily basis.