Getting pregnant to get married

[amanda29]

What is the name of your state? Georgia

I am 17 and my boyfriend is 19. I have a really bad home life and my boyfirend and his mother want me to move in with them. I have found that pretty much the only way I can get out my house is to get pregnant and get married. If this were to happen could there be any charges pressed against him and if so what? Also, is there any other solution that can get me out of my house? Thanks.

 

[lsut1ger]

And why do you think that getting pregnant automatically entitles you to get married?

Using an innocent child as an "out" is pretty shameful in my opinion. A 17 yr old and 19 yr old are NOT ready to raise a child. Trust me...it will most likely cause a lifetime of problems for you, your boyfriend and your child....no matter how "ready" you feel you are. Just take a few minutes to read the Child Custody and Support forum. And that's only a TASTE of what's to come.

How long until you turn 18? I suggest you wait it out, or discuss your desire to move out with your parents. Or hell, just TELL your parents you're pregnant so they'll consent to the marriage. But don't actually do it. Please.

 

[amanda29]

I'm not saying that that is what either one of want to do or even are going to do. I feel the same way about an innocent child as you do. It has just come to being that desperate. I have talked to my parents and they won't listen. They had me arrested for "running away" because I refused to come home because my mom had threatened me. I'm looking for any solution because I don't turn 18 until the end of December.

 

[stealth2]

That's less than a year - about the same amount of time it would take you to have a baby. Honestly not a brilliant plan, hon. What's going on that's making home so difficult?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Where's the "legal question" and where's the "legal problem"?

Since when did this site turn into a "Dear Abby" site for wayward teenagers?

IAAL

 

[HomeGuru]

Isn't there a teenageadvice.com website or something similar?

 

[amanda29]

The legal question is is there anything I can do to legally get out of my house other than this. And the situation is that I don't get along with my parents whatsoever, they are mentally and emotionally abusive, and they are constantly fighting and talking about divorce. It's a situation I no longer want to be in.

 

[stealth2]

Isn't there a teenageadvice.com website or something similar?

Where do you think kids get the idea that this sort of thing is their ticket out?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

The legal question is is there anything I can do to legally get out of my house other than this.

MY RESPONSE: You were already returned to the house as a teenage runaway. That's your answer, and you already had your answer. You're a minor. End of story.


And the situation is that I don't get along with my parents whatsoever, they are mentally and emotionally abusive, and they are constantly fighting and talking about divorce. It's a situation I no longer want to be in.

MY RESPONSE: You know, how many teenagers "don't get along with their parents"? So what? Tough it out. Stop making YOUR END of the relationship a "pain in the ass" for your parents. When you stop, they will stop.

IAAL

 

[stealth2]

The legal question is is there anything I can do to legally get out of my house other than this. And the situation is that I don't get along with my parents whatsoever, they are mentally and emotionally abusive, and they are constantly fighting and talking about divorce. It's a situation I no longer want to be in.

Well, getting married at 17 isn't the solution. All that does is complicate your life even more. How do you intend to support a child? What about school?

A much more mature solution would be to realize that you have less than a year to tough it out. Focus on getting through the rest of this school year, and the start of the next one. Use the summer to earn money for when you turn 18. Fill the extra time you have with a part-time job, studying at the library and/or friends', extra-curriculars. Prepare yourself to have a future other than changing nappies.

 

[amanda29]

Look, you don't know the situation as I do. I'm not some spoiled little brat that isn't getting along with my parents so I want to leave. There is never a moment a peace in the house and I can no longer take it. I have never been a "pain in the ass" nor do I tend to be. I have never been in trouble, always been an honor roll student in school, and I have always done anything and everything my parents have ever asked me to. I have a good head on my shoulders and I would never do something that was so stupid I would regret it. All I asked was was there any other solution than getting pregnant to get married.

 

[amanda29]

My parents won't allow me get a job, nor hang out wiht friends. Basically, I'm not allowed to leave the house without them other than to go to school. And I'm not allowed to use the phone or have any form of communication with anyone. This all happened before I "ran away".

 

[stealth2]

So how is it you have a boyfriend?

How long do you think you're going to stay on the honor roll pregnant? What do you think you're going to do with the rest of your life as a HS dropout? How are you going to support the kid(s) when your b/f decides that being married at 20 isn't really what he had in mind for his life?

Your folks won't let you do anything apart from school. Go to your guidance counselor and see how s/he can help. They could speak with your folks and tell them how much XYZ activity will help you in your college applications. That taking a p/t job will help you save for college as well as help you build experience. That you've been asked to tutor kids after school due to your excellent grades. Think outside the box, amanda. Be a little bit original instead of getting knocked up at 17.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Look, you don't know the situation as I do. I'm not some spoiled little brat that isn't getting along with my parents so I want to leave. There is never a moment a peace in the house and I can no longer take it. I have never been a "pain in the ass" nor do I tend to be. I have never been in trouble, always been an honor roll student in school, and I have always done anything and everything my parents have ever asked me to. I have a good head on my shoulders and I would never do something that was so stupid I would regret it. All I asked was was there any other solution than getting pregnant to get married.

My response:

You can't even keep your story straight, which is another good reason why you're not ready to leave home.

You initially said, "I have found that pretty much the only way I can get out my house is to get pregnant and get married." So, you were, in effect, asking for "permission".

Now, you're saying, "All I asked was was there any other solution than getting pregnant to get married."

This is fodder for "Dear Abby".

Then you said, "I have never been a "pain in the ass" nor do I tend to be. I have never been in trouble . . ."

Yet, in one of your responsive posts, you said, "They had me arrested for "running away" because I refused to come home . . ."

Now, doesn't THAT sound like you're a "pain in the ass", and doesn't an "arrest" sound like "trouble" to you?

Oh, please. What this all boils down to is that you're not willing to accept your own faults, and are only trying to pass everything that's "wrong" in your life to other people "being the cause".

IAAL

 

[nextwife]

Then put your energies into getting involved in something CONSTRUCTIVE, through school if necessary, that will occupy a lot of time outside school. Sports, drama, anything. Many very talented poeple came from misereable home lives and used their interests/talents as a distraction form their unhappliness at home. Good grief, do you have tunnel vision? Study at the library or school if you are unhappy while home, find a youth group or cause to put your time toward that your parents would approve.

See if they will let you work as an assistant camp counselor all summer. It would get you out of the house all day, and they may see it as contructive use of time. AND you may get paid.

And don't tell me there is nothing they would let you do besides school.