Going to Boot Camp

[VANCAM1]

What is the name of your state? CA
I have court this month. I will leave for boot camp in mid November. In mediation, we agreed to a 4 mo temp order of 1 week, 1 week 2 dinners during the off weeks that the judge has not set. I have sole legal physical custody now. The NCP mom stated tha she wants to change what we just agreed on at the next court date. Should I mention to the judge that I will be going to boot camp. My family will cover for my alloted visitation. The mother will not keep the child the whole 3 months because she said that she can't get a sitter so my family will cover my end.

 

[adonahee]

Didn't you know you were going?

What good is this temp order that's 4 months in duration when you'll only be around for 2 months? Is the child coming with you to your base? Or is your family covering long-term?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? CA
I have court this month. I will leave for boot camp in mid November. In mediation, we agreed to a 4 mo temp order of 1 week, 1 week 2 dinners during the off weeks that the judge has not set. I have sole legal physical custody now. The NCP mom stated tha she wants to change what we just agreed on at the next court date. Should I mention to the judge that I will be going to boot camp. My family will cover for my alloted visitation. The mother will not keep the child the whole 3 months because she said that she can't get a sitter so my family will cover my end.

That is a bit confusing. How were you able to enlist in the military with primary custody? That normally isn't possible.

Yes, you absolutely DO have to tell the judge that you have enlisted and are going to boot camp....and YES, that is going to complicate things. Custody/visitation isn't "family" thing...its between you and the mother.

Its great that your family is willing to help. Its great that she is willing to allow them to help. However, please understand that your enlistment means that she would almost have a "slam dunk" for primary custody unless you can prove her unfit. (Assuming that I understood your post properly)

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I went back and read your other posts You are playing custody games and that isn't good for your child and of course you have to tell the judge that you are going to boot camp, that will change the mother's custody too, you can't keep doing things and not being up front. When you get out of bootcamp there will be more training and then you will be moving, right? You really had to ask this question DOWN & GIVE ME 40, WHEN YOU ARE DONE WITH THAT GIVE ME ANOTHER 40 WITH HAND CLAPS IN BETWEEN

 

[VANCAM1]

The mother was proven unfit the first go around in court earlier this year but when she realised that she would not be getting her TANF she took me back to court hoping for full custody. I want my child's mother in his life so I agreed to 50/50 custody. I could only join the reserves because I have a wife and two kids. I don't think that she deserves full custody again just because I will be gone for a few months. The mother doesn't know that I am leaving either. I was just hoping to leave that part out during court.

 

[LdiJ]

The mother was proven unfit the first go around in court earlier this year but when she realised that she would not be getting her TANF she took me back to court hoping for full custody. I want my child's mother in his life so I agreed to 50/50 custody. I could only join the reserves because I have a wife and two kids. I don't think that she deserves full custody again just because I will be gone for a few months. The mother doesn't know that I am leaving either. I was just hoping to leave that part out during court.

It would be far more dangerous to leave that part out. That kind of thing SERIOUSLY ticks off a judge.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

The mother was proven unfit the first go around in court earlier this year but when she realised that she would not be getting her TANF she took me back to court hoping for full custody. I want my child's mother in his life so I agreed to 50/50 custody. I could only join the reserves because I have a wife and two kids. I don't think that she deserves full custody again just because I will be gone for a few months. The mother doesn't know that I am leaving either. I was just hoping to leave that part out during court.

As I said yesterday, you are playing power games, you have to tell the court and your ex, no matter what you did to prove her unfit, they don't give 50/50 if she is, especially if you were going to pull a stunt like this, it makes YOU look UNFIT! This is not in the best interest of your child either BTW while you are away, you will be paying child support to her so she will be able to pay for child care.

 

[VANCAM1]

I will tell the judge about the boot camp since you all advise it. The judge has not set the 50/50 order that we agreed to. The mother wants to change it so she will probably piss off the judge first. There is a waiver that she signed stating that she is aware that she will not be getting paid during my boot camp. I agreed to 50/50 to be nice but if I let the judge decide he probably would not agree to this.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I will tell the judge about the boot camp since you all advise it. The judge has not set the 50/50 order that we agreed to. The mother wants to change it so she will probably piss off the judge first. There is a waiver that she signed stating that she is aware that she will not be getting paid during my boot camp. I agreed to 50/50 to be nice but if I let the judge decide he probably would not agree to this.

You are lying to your child, to your ex, putting them under duress and thinking you can sneak one past the judge. You are spinning a web of LIES! You didn't agree to 50/50 to be nice, you did that because your were going to try to scam the judge! YOU ARE DISPICABLE!

 

[VANCAM1]

I have sole custody with visitation reserved to whatever I want to give. If I were trying to scam, I would have tried to leave the order as is.

 

[john123456]

rmet4nzkx:

This is the stepmother.


Additionally, this is an interesting post:

08-02-2003, 08:41 PM
VANCAM1
Member Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: California
Posts: 37

termination of rights
________________________________________
What is the name of your state?
california
my husband needs to terminate his rights to his child outside of our marriage. how does he do that? does the birth mother need to agree? there is child support involved.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

rmet4nzkx:

This is the stepmother.


Additionally, this is an interesting post:

08-02-2003, 08:41 PM
VANCAM1
Member Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: California
Posts: 37

termination of rights
________________________________________
What is the name of your state?
california
my husband needs to terminate his rights to his child outside of our marriage. how does he do that? does the birth mother need to agree? there is child support involved.

I know they can't keep their story straight, or who they are, That child should not be in that home he/she doesn't deserve custody. Have you read them all? The one you cited they deleted. This is child abuse and manipulative and they have the birth mom under so much duress, notice how they say things like we agreed to this and that she didn't have to come to court, etc."I tried to be nice, I <control> the visitation" A CONTROL freak! I hope the judge see's right through them, so wonder they don't want the mom in court, she might tell the judge about boot camp and forcing her to sign a waiver to not get child support when that is what the court would order in addition to custody while dad is in boot camp, I'll bet he throws around the word, UNFIT all the time. Also having agreed to 50/50/custody in mediation and not bringing it berfore the judge so th emom wouldn't get what was agreed. I am fuming
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[LdiJ]

This story is getting more and more laughable

This is what he said in his post on the child support board:

"My child's mother didn't show up to court and told me to tell the judge whatever I wanted so I got sole legal and physical custody. I did't tell her for a few months but she found out when she tried to collect TANF in another county and was denied. She is taking me back to court for sole custody to probably collect her TANF but we made a 50/50 agreement in mediation and I have the stable home and will most likely remain the primary residence. I filed my support claim after she filed her OSC. Will this have any effect on my attempt to collect support?"

Now, unless he never served the mother, or served her at an incorrect address, then she would have gotten a copy of any custody order made. So this story doesn't fly at all. Sounds like he might have scammed mom to get custody in the first place. Also, he obviously didn't PROVE her unfit (as he has been saying), since she wasn't there to defend herself. He won by default.

So she isn't going back to court because of money, she's going back to court because she caught him out. He is agreeing to 50/50 cause he knows he is in trouble and because he doesn't want to pay support.

Then he tells us that she doesn't know he's going to boot camp. Then he tells us that she signed a waiver accepting that she doesn't get child support while he is in boot camp. How could she sign a waiver if she doesn't know he is going to boot camp?

Then he tells us he is a reservist....he isn't going to boot camp folks (or at least not JUST boot camp) he is getting DEPLOYED.

Does anybody get what is going on here???? I don't know what his REAL story is, but what he is doing is trying out scams on US, to see what might work.


Dude, just accept the fact that mom is going to have custody while you are deployed, that you ARE going to have to pay child support, and that you are going to have to start all over again when you get home. I realize that you think that the POA that you are planning to give your wife somehow means that she can maintain your 50/50 custody, but its not gonna happen. Plus the soldiers and sailors act (whatever its called now) isn't going to help you either.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Their story is sooooo full of it I could scream!!!
I read this stuff the other day and it was so obvious.
Yup, after boot camp it will be school for their MOS and then deployment and Mom will get the child and child support, it looks like this is all to control and to avoid child support. If she has to apply for TANF that is because he isn't paying CS when he is supposed to. Here is a link to the "New" soldier's and Sailor's act:
It's no longer called the Soldier's and sailor's act, Pursuant to the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA, 50 USCA App. § 501 et seq.) (formerly the Soldiers' and Sailors' Civil Relief Act), a default judgment or new judgment cannot be entered against a respondent in active military service unless counsel is appointed to protect his or her interests or respondent waives his or her rights under the Act. [See 50 USCA App. §§ 517, 521] Here are some links to FAQ re SCRA and CSE, deployment etc.
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse...4/dcl-04-26.htm http://192.156.19.104/JAL_mess.nsf/...5256e120050f9e4 http://www.abanet.org/family/newsle...04/Apr_SCRA.pdf