Grandparents' rights over parent

[WillingToFight]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law?) Oregon

I spoke to my attorney yesterday who told me that even if my ex self destructs in the next few months, I will likely not automatically have my kids returned to me; they will go to his parents.

I've not been deemed unfit - the kids have just chosen not to live with me. My attorney said that the grandparents could (and I'm guessing... since it was brought up, that they probably already have put this out there) petition for custody and be awarded full custody before I would. My attorney said they could say that enough time has passed for them to establish an appropriate bond.

I guess my question is: If the kids were put out on the streets due to their dad's current problems, where would the kids go in the interim? Playing this out in my mind, I'm thinking that I'd need to petition for a change in circumstances and be prepared for the grandparents to contest my petition.

How does this work?

 

[Ohiogal]

Why does your attorney believe the grandparents have rights that are equal -- let alone superior -- to yours? You may want to consider a new attorney.

 

[WillingToFight]

Why does your attorney believe the grandparents have rights that are equal -- let alone superior -- to yours? You may want to consider a new attorney.

Good question! I was really quite shocked when she told me that yesterday. This is one of the most severe alienation cases she's seen. Maybe she is just trying to prepare me that the grandparents may go after custody.

The grandparents have been helping ex throughout this custody battle. That is fine; they are family. However, grandmother has on more than one occasion overstepped her role as grandma by saying she was going to cancel a doctor's appointment I'd made for my daughter (her first "female exam") so that SHE could take my daughter instead of me. I had to confront her and tell her that I was going to retain my right as mother to have this experience with MY daughter. Later, she took my daughter shopping for a dress for her first high school dance. Now I know these might seem petty but to a mom, this is crossing turf.

Before this custody suit ensued, ex's parents were not so readily available to help him out. Only when they felt he was at risk of losing custody (during his drug rehabilitation) did they jump in with full force to "co-parent" with ex. Ex's parents AND the kids are afraid that ex will commit suicide if he loses the kids. I know this because grandma made a suggestive comment right in front of the kids a year ago, when they were pleading with me not to take action in custody court.

I should've seized custody then - I know. But it's moot point now.

 

[Hot Topic]

You were absolutely right to straighten out the grandmother over the doctor's appointment. You were being petty about the dress.

 

[WillingToFight]

You were absolutely right to straighten out the grandmother over the doctor's appointment. You were being petty about the dress.

I know I was petty about the dress... it just struck a nerve. I never said anything to my daughter or the grandmother. My attorney thought it was a crumby thing for grandma to do and advised me to stay ahead of her in the future.