Grandparents Rights

[annsgrandma]

I have a 4 year old grandchild that has lived with us since she was 18 months old. We have never received support but both parents visit off and on. The mother moved in with us in December of 03 when she became homeless. She is now planning on moving in with a guy she met in a bar a week ago and take our grandchild with her. We never had any legal papers but both parents signed an agreement our grandchild would stay with us until further agreement could be made. What can I do to stop this or at least have a family court decide what is in the childs best interest?

 

[ili]

Grandparent's rights.

Grandparents do have rights. See a lawyer. If you can prove it will be against the child's best interests to go you may get custody. We are going
thru something close to this.

 

[kidoday]

Grandparents do have rights. See a lawyer. If you can prove it will be against the child's best interests to go you may get custody. We are going
thru something close to this.

Where did you get this legal information?

The child has been living with her mother for almost 5 months. According to Grandma only written consent was given, there has not been any court orders issued giving the grandparents legal custody or guardianship.

Both of you need to read Troxel v. Granville.

Grandma has let the mother live in her home for 5 months. Mom can up and leave with the baby at any time because there isn't any court order.

 

[Tallerin]

Accually pending on what state OP is from grandparents do have rights. but not the way ili says. In PA if any of the children have ever lived with a third party, such as a grandparent or another relative for any considerable length of time, that party may be entitled to custody rights.

but am not sure if the grandparents have the rights to file the petition. if the mother or father files a custody petition. they would have to list that the child was living with grandma and state the time frame. i am going through this now and just handed in my petition and had to put the grandparents as a party to the case on the petition. they have had physical custody of our daughter (no court order X just handed her over to them) for the last 2 years. so they get to go to the intake conference also not just me and my x.

but dunno what state OP is from so might not be the same.

 

[annsgrandma]

We are in Utah. The big concern that we have with our grandchild is that the mom is thought disordered and has claimed to hear voices. The father has stated several times that he is not ready to be a 24 hour dad. While she was visiting him on an over night visit one of his friend molested her and two other children at the same time.
My husband and I have heard of a gardian enlitem I think is what it is called could this help with determining what is best for the child?

 

[n_and]

I have never hear of gardian enlitem, nor guardian enlitem for that matter, so I can not help you there. I can tell you that it is extremely hard to prove a parent unfit. What kidoday told you is VERY true. You've had the mother living there for 5 months. There is no court order granting Grandma custody.

If mom gets up, leaves and takes the child with her, you can't stop her. What you can do is try to get a visitation order in place. You'll need to hire an attorney. Also, check out www.parentsrights.com.

Tallerin and ili may want to check out the site, too.

Good Luck.

 

[tigger22472]

A guardian Adlib(not spelled right but said like I spelled i ) is someone that basically represents the child and examines the child to determine what is in the best intrest of a child when court proceedings have started. The only thing right now that I see you can do is file for an emergency custody hearing and hope for the best but as it's been said and repeated, the child has lived with the mother in a home for over 5 months and the fact others were there make no difference.

 

[annsgrandma]

I just talked with the father and he said that he will support us getting custody and will terminate his rights if it means protecting his child. I am going to file ER custody on Monday. The only problem is that my daughter won't tell anyone the address of were she is because she knows that we may try and take her. I have people working on trying to find out where this guy lives but we have limited information, I only have his name and know that he lives with his parents some place in Salt Lake County. My daughter has a case open with welfare and her mail is coming to my address but I don't know if she is going to change that or not.
Thanks to all of you for the support and information.

 

[kidoday]

I understand that sometimes children need to be taken away from the parent. Not every person was meant to be a parent.

I hope you have a good attorney.

Keep us posted.

 

[djohnson]

I wish you luck also. I think it's going to be a hard fight, but well worth it. There are ways to find them, just keep trying. As long as you are doing what is best for the child then God will be with you also.

 

[nextwife]

Basically, the grandparents HAVE been acting as the parents. These are the people who have been functioning as mom and dad to this child. I hope they are successful in continuing to give this child the stability they need (that the parents evidently have not been ready to offer). Mom getting some guy to take her in shouldn't cause the child to lose that stabilty.

Good luck.

 

[ili]

I hope you get a good lawyer. In Tennessee we have child advocates I
understand who will look out for the welfare of the child. I think it was
Frederick Douglas that said something like, "Its easier to grow strong children
then repair broken men." (?) Work for that child as we plan to. Keep in touch
and keep praying.

 

[snostar]

It's Guardian ad Litem. Press the issue that your home is the only home this child has known, and you have so far been the primary caregiver when petitioning for a temporary order. Be prepared, this could get ugly between you and your daughter, but do what you must for the sake of the child.

 

[annsgrandma]

What is the name of your state? Utah

Thank you all so much for the support. I have left a message for a lawyer that has come highly recommended. The plan right now is to find out what if anything we can do.
The father and I met last night and he said that we all just need to keep a record of any e-mail or phone calls. My daughter has some behavior that a court would not look on as good for a child and there are people that have offered to take pictures and document what they observe when she is out at clubs ect.
My daughter let our granddaughter spend the night last night and she didn't want to go back and can't understand why she can't come back home to live. I explained that her mom can't stay with us any more and she still didn't understand why that had anything to do with her.
Our home has always been her safety place and she has had that taken away and is not feeling very safe. We worked with a therapist this last winter in a parenting group I have a call into her to see if she will write a letter to help get her back so now I am the hurry up and wait place. I'll keep you all posted.

 

[ili]

Safe Place

Tennesseeundefined
We know about that safe place, too. She knows and feels where she is loved, wanted and SAFE. Its the same in our situation. We hate that our
great-grandchild is being kept from his safe place. Please keep us informed.
HOPE and PRAY. I am wishing you and we have the strength (and we know
we have the love) to accomplish what is best for these children.