He kept our baby!

[stealth2]

C'mon Stealth, you know I am all for NCP's getting as much time as possible with their children, or was that directed at the OP?

It was directed at OP. Frankly, to me it all smacks of controling the Dad's access to the child. There has been no mention (so far ) of any reason to restrict his ability to bond with what is also HIS daughter.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Yes, male parents can do everything, with the exception of breastfeeding ...!

EXCUSE ME?????

I breastfeed every chance I get.

 

[snostar]

• Every other weekend, from Friday night at 6:00 p.m. until Sunday night at 6:00 p.m.
• Midweek parenting from immediately after work and/or school until 8:00 p.m., each and every week, except those weeks that are designated to the other parent.
• Every other spring vacation, with the mother having even numbered years, and the father having odd numbered years. This parenting time shall commence at 6:00 p.m. on the last day of vacation, and end at 6:00 p.m. on the last day prior to the Child's commencement of school.
• All Holidays shall be from 9:00 a.m. until 8:00 p.m. except for Halloween and the child's birthday, which should be 9:00 a.m. until 9:00 p.m. when Halloween or the child's birthday falls on a weekend day (Saturday or Sunday) or during summer vacation. When Halloween or the child's birthday falls on a weekday (Monday - Friday), the parties will have the minor children from immediately after work and/or school, until 8:00 p.m.
• When a Holiday (other than Halloween and the child's birthday) falls on a Friday or a Monday, the parent who is scheduled to have that Holiday shall be entitled to the entire three day weekend with the minor child or children. The Thanksgiving Holiday will always be a four day weekend from Thursday through Sunday.
• Mother's day shall be afforded to the mother, each and every year, between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 9:00 p.m.
• Father's day shall be afforded to the father, each and every year, between the hours of 9:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m.
• Four weeks of summer vacation, to be taken in two, two week blocks.
• Any other times that might be mutually agreeable between the parties.
• Every other Holiday to include: New Year's Day*; Easter**; Memorial Day*; Fourth of July**; Labor Day*; Thanksgiving Day**; Halloween*; Christmas Eve*; Christmas Day**; and Child's Birthday.**

No mention of Christmas break or winter vacation!!

 

[starabby]

Im sorry if you do not believe me when i stated the guideline. But I have it right before me and that is what it says about the Christmas/Winter Break. I didnt print out the odd numbered rules as they did not apply to this problem. But I printed it out word for word what it says. And I wish to god that I could have communication with my soon to be ex. Only for the good of our baby. He will not even listen to me when I am telling him about her medications. He will not take any of her toys or blanket or anything that will make her feel more comfortable. THis is not in her best interest. IT is only in his best interest because he knows it bothers me for him to be like that. He is very very bitter. I just hope that he will sometime get some good advice from his pastor or counselor and learn how to make this the best for our daughter. She is only 7 months old and will have a life time of unhappyness if he doesnt smarten up. I do want him to know her and I want her to know him. I do believe that children from divorce will have big problems later if life if they think there dad or mom didnt want to see them. They would always wonder why...or what did they do wrong. I do not want my daughter to grow up this way.

I just talked to my attorney and he says that my husbands attorney is still saying that my husband talked to a Friend Of the Court person and he told him to just ignore the order. Unfortunataly this person is off for the holiday. So we are waiting for another person to get out of a meeting and then we will be able to find out what we can do. Someone my attorney did get to talk to at the FOC did say they find it very hard to believe this person would tell anyone to ignore a order. So this is what I am dealing with. If all this is wrong and the order that the judge signed is wrong..and the person that recommended this visitation schedule is wrong...then ok. In that case the "Holiday" is past and then it should be regular visitation schedule.

 

[stealth2]

The question is not whether the order is wrong - the question is which interpretation of that order is correct.

As for Dad not taking the things that YOU feel he should take for the child's visitation, has it occurred to you that perhaps he has items which your daughter finds just as comforting?

 

[starabby]

Also, I have already posted the reason I left him. Which was because he had said he wanted to teach our children how to have sex. And I know that people just say things sometimes they dont really mean. But when he spent all his free time reading incest stories on the computer. It was too many red flags for me to just ignore. This was reported to the Family Independence Agency and then referred to the Sheriff Dept. They investigated it and said we do not have enough to charge him with anything. Just because he says it, which is my word against his. So I recorded a conversation I had with him asking him why he said what he said and he said he was just fantasizing and he doesnt feel that way now...that he would feel like a child molester. The Sheriff Dept says they can not charge him criminally, but they will keep it on file incase anything does happen in the future. So yes, I do have concerns about him having her for extended periods of time. What mother wouldnt. But because I do not want my daughter to not know her father and because according to the court, he has not done anything yet. I have to give her to him. I would even feel better if he had to get counseling. At least I would know that he is getting some help for his problem.

 

[starabby]

"As for Dad not taking the things that YOU feel he should take for the child's visitation, has it occurred to you that perhaps he has items which your daughter finds just as comforting?"


I have asked him if he has things for her. He only has a rattle. So if you look at the big pic, it comes down to ...He doesnt want her to have her blanket or toy because it is mine. How is that in the best interest of the baby. She doesnt know who gave her what. All she knows it is makes her feel safe and it is something familiar. I do understand that if he gets things for her she will grow to like them as much. But until he does,,,why should he deny a 7 month old baby her toys. Except because he is being childish and they are things I got her.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Honestly! Where do all these Victorians come from anyway? I thought we were DECADES past those stereotypes.

Yes, male parents can do everything, with the exception of breastfeeding (and they are perfectly capable of feeding via a bottle), that female parents can do. And, as Stealth points out, it is IMPORTANT for them to do all this - NOT just mom!

Yep, men can do it also and actually very enlightening to have to the opportunity to experience all the "joys" of parenting, including sleepless nights.

When my oldest grand daughter was 6 months old, her mother was deployed for 6 months, leaving my son, also a soldier as her primary caretaker, he had no problem with it, so it is possible and not harmful to allow the father extended parenting time, it is in the child's best interest to have time with both parents.

Since OP is referring to a 7 mo child and an agreement form 2001, is there another child? if so, why should they be split up? From the wording, it appears that the father is allowed his extended visitation, including overnights except for Christmas day holiday which is shared and not in violation of the order.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

EXCUSE ME?????

I breastfeed every chance I get.

Quality control and/or samples?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Quality control and/or samples?

PRACTICE baby....PRACTICE

 

[stealth2]

I have asked him if he has things for her. He only has a rattle. So if you look at the big pic, it comes down to ...He doesnt want her to have her blanket or toy because it is mine. How is that in the best interest of the baby. She doesnt know who gave her what. All she knows it is makes her feel safe and it is something familiar. I do understand that if he gets things for her she will grow to like them as much. But until he does,,,why should he deny a 7 month old baby her toys. Except because he is being childish and they are things I got her.

Honestly? If my ex had asked me such a boneheaded question, I'd probably have said the same as a smart-a$$ed reply. And I'm a mother.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

"As for Dad not taking the things that YOU feel he should take for the child's visitation, has it occurred to you that perhaps he has items which your daughter finds just as comforting?"


I have asked him if he has things for her. He only has a rattle. So if you look at the big pic, it comes down to ...He doesnt want her to have her blanket or toy because it is mine. How is that in the best interest of the baby. She doesnt know who gave her what. All she knows it is makes her feel safe and it is something familiar. I do understand that if he gets things for her she will grow to like them as much. But until he does,,,why should he deny a 7 month old baby her toys. Except because he is being childish and they are things I got her.

Quite frankly, you come across as the one who is bitter and vindictive. You also come across as not wanting your STBX to have time with his child. If you are worried about him realizing what comforts the child, why deny him the opportunity to bond with the child and learn, first hand. A childs needs for material things is minimal, what they need is comfort and love, not a special blanket, don't tell me he has no blankets

 

[audster]

I notice that there was no mention of any "questionable behaivior" of BioDad until OP didn't hear what she wanted....so now I'm waiting for her to say he's on crack, a drunk, beats her and kicks "widdle helpwes Kittens".

 

[stealth2]

Since OP is referring to a 7 mo child and an agreement form 2001, is there another child?

I think she's refering to 2001 as the date of current FoC guidelines. Not of the agreement.

 

[snostar]

I have asked him if he has things for her. He only has a rattle. So if you look at the big pic, it comes down to ...He doesnt want her to have her blanket or toy because it is mine. How is that in the best interest of the baby. She doesnt know who gave her what. All she knows it is makes her feel safe and it is something familiar. I do understand that if he gets things for her she will grow to like them as much. But until he does,,,why should he deny a 7 month old baby her toys. Except because he is being childish and they are things I got her.

That's enough to make me think your off your rocker