I agree ther may not be anything legal you can do about it or anything you can do do period but I wanted to say I agree with you so you don't feel overwhelmed with all the negative responses. If it was my child I would be upset also, very upset. Although I can see different view points and the silliness of calling over every decision, I do believe major changes should be to custodial parent and discussed. Everyone keeps saying it will grow back it's not like its a tattoo. I just wonder what they would think if it was a tattoo. It is also can be reversed, at great expense, but reversed. Where is the line that a NCP shouln't take charge. Some dads may be doing it just to piss mom off. What can you do and where is that line. I think poster has a good question.
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VeronicaGia
Senior Member
Maybe you're right, maybe it comes down to control. But both parents have rights AND obligations.
This is nothing that is permanent, it's hair. If the custodial parent has all the control, then the custodial parent should have all the obligations too.
Oh, well, I'm moving on.
This is nothing that is permanent, it's hair. If the custodial parent has all the control, then the custodial parent should have all the obligations too.
Oh, well, I'm moving on.
Being the CP does not make you Grand Pubah of EVERYTHING, god damn! its HAIR! It's HIS childs hair! A major decision, I think not....it will grow, and if it does look stupid, do you really think a decent parent (oh I forgot, NCP's are clueless and have no fashion sense among other things..) would continue to let thier kid look like a doofus all to get back at the CP?
Ohhh don't answer that........
Ohhh don't answer that........
Yes I do. How many parents (be they CP or NCP) have done something not in the best interest of the child just to spite the other. The numbers would be tremendous. Yes it is just hair this time but where is the line? Would a tattoo be ok? (it can be removed) What about ear piercing? (you can take them out) nose piercing?(again you take them out) What about dyeing hair color? (you can dye it back) When is it not ok?
stealth2
Under the Radar Member
These are disagreements that parents would have whether married or not. Both sides play games - CP and NCP. What it truly comes down to is how important each particular issue is in the greater scheme of things. Some hills I'm willing to die on - a haircut sure as hell isn't it - NO MATTER WHAT.
G
Grandma B
Guest
You might also consider that this was a test--to see what your reaction would be. I'd guess the less negative reaction, the fewer future tests.
Just one additional comment. The subject of your post is "He shaved MY baby's head". C'mon, it's also HIS baby.
Just one additional comment. The subject of your post is "He shaved MY baby's head". C'mon, it's also HIS baby.
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Whyte Noise
Senior Member
I, for one, would think that the "line" be drawn when what was done is detrimental to the CHILD, and not to a parents ego.
I didn't ask my husband for permission to cut my children's hair when we were married. I damn sure wouldn't do it now. I didn't ask him for permission to get their ears pierced when we were married, I damn sure wouldn't ask him now.
And yes, I'm the NCP in my case. My ex husband is the CP. When I have my children, I raise them and tend to them as I see fit. When he has them, he does the same. If they need haircuts when I have them, they're gonna get them. He's cut their hair when he's had them. (And actually, he cut my 2 daughter's hair so short they looked like boys, and were mistaken for boys.) My kids have TWO parents, not just one, and having the "title" of CP or NCP bestowed on you by a judge doesn't make one any better to decide what the children need than the other.
I didn't ask my husband for permission to cut my children's hair when we were married. I damn sure wouldn't do it now. I didn't ask him for permission to get their ears pierced when we were married, I damn sure wouldn't ask him now.
And yes, I'm the NCP in my case. My ex husband is the CP. When I have my children, I raise them and tend to them as I see fit. When he has them, he does the same. If they need haircuts when I have them, they're gonna get them. He's cut their hair when he's had them. (And actually, he cut my 2 daughter's hair so short they looked like boys, and were mistaken for boys.) My kids have TWO parents, not just one, and having the "title" of CP or NCP bestowed on you by a judge doesn't make one any better to decide what the children need than the other.
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C
ConcernedMom911
Guest
I guess I wanted to shed some light on this because I'm a little surprised by some of the feedback:
I agree that my son's father should be able to make decisions for our son as he sees fit when our child is in his custody. I have no problem with him cutting our son's hair (he's done it before). I do have a problem with making such a drastic change as shaving his head when we are still in the middle of winter (I know it's March but it's still snowing here). I was shocked by the haircut yes, but instead of screaming and yelling over it, I asked that we discuss it the next time before he did it. I didn't say don't do it again because I'm the custodial parent and you're not. But as I agreed earlier, this is one of the small things that's not worth the battle. The hair will grow back. Bald or not our son is beautiful.(And I like the suggestion of taking him to a barber myself)
I do not discredit my son's father in any way. He is apart of my son's life and that is all that matters. I want to make sure our son has the benefit of both his parents. I don't feel as the 'judge appointed' CP I should be 'God' on all decisions. That's the purpose of joint legal custody. Does a hair cut fall under that? NO. I just wanted some advice as to how to approach this without him taking offense. I seem to have offended quite a bit of people on this list by putting 'He Shaved My Son's Head.' (And yes I agree I should have put our son, my fault and it won't happen again except on occasions when I write my son's father).
I think we can all agree that this is a difficult arrangement on every front, whether you have a great relationship or a terrible relationship with your co-parent. I want to do what I can to not 'rock the boat.' I just want to do what I can to maintain a loving atmosphere for my son and I thought by asking those experienced in these matters that I would get some sound advice, which I did. Sorry for getting on my soapbox but I started this post and was hoping that I could end it on a lighter note.
I agree that my son's father should be able to make decisions for our son as he sees fit when our child is in his custody. I have no problem with him cutting our son's hair (he's done it before). I do have a problem with making such a drastic change as shaving his head when we are still in the middle of winter (I know it's March but it's still snowing here). I was shocked by the haircut yes, but instead of screaming and yelling over it, I asked that we discuss it the next time before he did it. I didn't say don't do it again because I'm the custodial parent and you're not. But as I agreed earlier, this is one of the small things that's not worth the battle. The hair will grow back. Bald or not our son is beautiful.(And I like the suggestion of taking him to a barber myself)
I do not discredit my son's father in any way. He is apart of my son's life and that is all that matters. I want to make sure our son has the benefit of both his parents. I don't feel as the 'judge appointed' CP I should be 'God' on all decisions. That's the purpose of joint legal custody. Does a hair cut fall under that? NO. I just wanted some advice as to how to approach this without him taking offense. I seem to have offended quite a bit of people on this list by putting 'He Shaved My Son's Head.' (And yes I agree I should have put our son, my fault and it won't happen again except on occasions when I write my son's father).
I think we can all agree that this is a difficult arrangement on every front, whether you have a great relationship or a terrible relationship with your co-parent. I want to do what I can to not 'rock the boat.' I just want to do what I can to maintain a loving atmosphere for my son and I thought by asking those experienced in these matters that I would get some sound advice, which I did. Sorry for getting on my soapbox but I started this post and was hoping that I could end it on a lighter note.
