he won't let me see our children

[Tina4615]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NC
My husband and I split up in December of last year. I chose to let him keep the kids temporarily until I could get on my feet. He took them and moved in with his mother then caused me to get evicted from our home. After that he caused me to be evicted from two other places in the span of a month. During that time I was allowed to see our two children whenever I wanted to and could take them anywhere I wished. But once I was forced to start living out of my car he started to demand money and other things in order for me to spend any time with them. When I ran out of money he then became violent. In an effort to get our children away from his increasingly dangerous behavior I took them and went to Mississippi with them. He found me rather quickly and filed an ex-parte custody order against me. I had to relinquish the children back into his custody and then had to go back to NC for a hearing. During the hearing the judge determined that neither one of us actually had custody and I could visit the children any time I wanted including any overnight visits as long as the children didn't leave the state of NC. Now my husband and his attorney are ignoring my calls for visitation. Can I file the necessary papers to find him in contempt of a judge's ruling. And if so is there anything else I can do ? I want custody of my children but it just seems no one is willing to hear my side of things.

 

[Jillian483]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NC
My husband and I split up in December of last year. I chose to let him keep the kids temporarily until I could get on my feet. He took them and moved in with his mother then caused me to get evicted from our home. After that he caused me to be evicted from two other places in the span of a month. During that time I was allowed to see our two children whenever I wanted to and could take them anywhere I wished. But once I was forced to start living out of my car he started to demand money and other things in order for me to spend any time with them. When I ran out of money he then became violent. In an effort to get our children away from his increasingly dangerous behavior I took them and went to Mississippi with them. He found me rather quickly and filed an ex-parte custody order against me. I had to relinquish the children back into his custody and then had to go back to NC for a hearing. During the hearing the judge determined that neither one of us actually had custody and I could visit the children any time I wanted including any overnight visits as long as the children didn't leave the state of NC. Now my husband and his attorney are ignoring my calls for visitation. Can I file the necessary papers to find him in contempt of a judge's ruling. And if so is there anything else I can do ? I want custody of my children but it just seems no one is willing to hear my side of things.

Yeah go to court and file for contempt because he is denying you visitation. What do you do with the kids if you are living in a car. No offense but it seems that the children are better off with someone (neither of you) else.

 

[Inquiry123]

Knock on some doors

Tina:

It's not uncommon for one or both parents to experience financial struggles during/following divorce. Several years ago, I froze my butt off sleeping in my car for 66 nights during my divorce. Bright side...it made it easy to get up for the gym in the morning! Although I didn't have my children overnight during that time, I spent time with them 4 or 5 days a week. We saw "Charlie's Angels" 7 times at the Dollar Theatre over three weeks (lots of great homeless memories!) Maybe my kids would have been better off with someone else than me, though. Not.

I'm going to assume from your post that you now have a semi-stable residence. Great. If not, get one.

It sounds like your story encompasses about a 3 or 4 month period. You have lots of time ahead of you...stay focused and don't get discouraged. When you say "split-up", are you in the process of divorcing? If so, you will eventually be able to negotiate a visitation schedule that can spell-out the your exact periods of visitation of the children.

In the meantime, your best bet may be to try and negotiate directly with your husband or through a third party to establish a temporary agreed visitation schedule. Have an idea of what you want written down. You may qualify for pro-bono or reduced-fee assistance -- check with the the court regarding any "social services" available. Even your minister may be a suitable choice to help with negotiating a temporary schedule.

Until then, forget calling if you're being ignored. You may catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Go to where the children are (maybe bring small gifts for them) and request some time. Go to his attorney's office and request a meeting to discuss a schedule. Go to the school and have lunch with your kids.

The judge's ruling that you can visit whenever you want is great, but it isn't very effective...is it? If negotiation doesn't work, you can go back before the judge to ask for a specific temporary schedule to be implemented. Whatever you do, don't give up -- keep trying to see your kids. Document every attempt, it may come in handy someday.

 

[Jillian483]

Tina:

It's not uncommon for one or both parents to experience financial struggles during/following divorce. Several years ago, I froze my butt off sleeping in my car for 66 nights during my divorce. Bright side...it made it easy to get up for the gym in the morning! Although I didn't have my children overnight during that time, I spent time with them 4 or 5 days a week. We saw "Charlie's Angels" 7 times at the Dollar Theatre over three weeks (lots of great homeless memories!) Maybe my kids would have been better off with someone else than me, though. Not.

I'm going to assume from your post that you now have a semi-stable residence. Great. If not, get one.

It sounds like your story encompasses about a 3 or 4 month period. You have lots of time ahead of you...stay focused and don't get discouraged. When you say "split-up", are you in the process of divorcing? If so, you will eventually be able to negotiate a visitation schedule that can spell-out the your exact periods of visitation of the children.

In the meantime, your best bet may be to try and negotiate directly with your husband or through a third party to establish a temporary agreed visitation schedule. Have an idea of what you want written down. You may qualify for pro-bono or reduced-fee assistance -- check with the the court regarding any "social services" available. Even your minister may be a suitable choice to help with negotiating a temporary schedule.

Until then, forget calling if you're being ignored. You may catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Go to where the children are (maybe bring small gifts for them) and request some time. Go to his attorney's office and request a meeting to discuss a schedule. Go to the school and have lunch with your kids.

The judge's ruling that you can visit whenever you want is great, but it isn't very effective...is it? If negotiation doesn't work, you can go back before the judge to ask for a specific temporary schedule to be implemented. Whatever you do, don't give up -- keep trying to see your kids. Document every attempt, it may come in handy someday.

Perhaps you can ask that the child stays with a grandparent until you can get your feet on the ground

 

[FLFamof5]

Yeah go to court and file for contempt because he is denying you visitation.

Just curious... how can you file contempt on something that doesn't have a court order (not even a temporary order) because neither parent has custody until they go to court?

 

[MandyD]

Just curious... how can you file contempt on something that doesn't have a court order (not even a temporary order) because neither parent has custody until they go to court?

Oh, just let her babble. She's been a member here for 6 days now and she's closing in on 200 posts. That's gotta be some sort of record, dubious as it might be.

 

[FLFamof5]

Oh, just let her babble. She's been a member here for 6 days now and she's closing in on 200 posts. That's gotta be some sort of record, dubious as it might be.

I know I should... but unfortunately if someone takes the advice then it will possibly backfire and just stress them out more.