help for a friend...really...in Ohio

[justalayman]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

I have friends who live in Ohio. The husband has residential custody and shared legal custody of children with an ex-wife. I was asked what, if anything, his current wife would need to be able to take the children to doctor and dentist visits.



I had stated as far as I know there would be no problem simply with her taking the children to appointments (please tell me I am correct) but am at a bit of a loss what she may be able to authorize or what she may need to be able to authorize treatment if needed. He suggested a POA but I didn't know if that would provide any benefit because the question was regarding the children rather than his actions for the husband so...



can anybody help me out? Can the wife act in the husbands stead regarding treatment permission? Is there something formal they would have to create for the wife to be able to approve treatment? Is it simply a no-no under law altogether?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

I have friends who live in Ohio. The husband has residential custody and shared legal custody of children with an ex-wife. I was asked what, if anything, his current wife would need to be able to take the children to doctor and dentist visits.



I had stated as far as I know there would be no problem simply with her taking the children to appointments (please tell me I am correct) but am at a bit of a loss what she may be able to authorize or what she may need to be able to authorize treatment if needed. He suggested a POA but I didn't know if that would provide any benefit because the question was regarding the children rather than his actions for the husband so...



can anybody help me out? Can the wife act in the husbands stead regarding treatment permission? Is there something formal they would have to create for the wife to be able to approve treatment? Is it simply a no-no under law altogether?

Personally, if I were the wife I would not take on that responsibility. Not when its shared legal custody. If its not something ordinary the two parents need to agree on treatment. Allowing a third party, or accepting responsibility as a third party to make those kinds of decisions is foolish in my opinion. Get dad and mom on the phone and let them make the decision. Otherwise, its a recipe for being hauled into court.

 

[justalayman]

Get dad and mom on the phone and let them make the decision.

I'm not trying to find a way for the stepM and dad to circumvent the rules nor are either of them. They just need to know what the rules are so the stepM does not do more than is actually allowed.

so, they are not concerned about issues that require both parents input or agreement as those are times where there has to be communication between the parents. I am only speaking to situations where the father could make decisions without consulting the mother. Is the sMom able to convey the father's desires either with or without some formal declaration from him stating the sMom can do so?




I can see where it is tough to be a step parent where you are expected to care for your spouse's children, for the most part, just like they are your own but without the rights to do what the parents can do. (bless all the Sparents that take on this challenge, especially when there is animosity between the parents)

 

[LdiJ]

I'm not trying to find a way for the stepM and dad to circumvent the rules nor are either of them. They just need to know what the rules are so the stepM does not do more than is actually allowed.

so, they are not concerned about issues that require both parents input or agreement as those are times where there has to be communication between the parents. I am only speaking to situations where the father could make decisions without consulting the mother. Is the sMom able to convey the father's desires either with or without some formal declaration from him stating the sMom can do so?




I can see where it is tough to be a step parent where you are expected to care for your spouse's children, for the most part, just like they are your own but without the rights to do what the parents can do. (bless all the Sparents that take on this challenge, especially when there is animosity between the parents)

I have taken other people's children to the doctor both with just a note, and with a POA. It didn't matter either way. The doctor's office still insisted on getting the parent(s) on the phone to authorize treatment. I suspect that the doctor would either accept a note from dad, or would want dad to get on the phone. The doctor is not what I am worried about. What I am worried about is whether or not mom would raise a stink about it. If it were my friends, I would advise them that if dad can't take the child to the doctor, and mom indicates that she cannot either, then, and only then, should stepmom do it.

 

[quincy]

I honestly don't know if this works in divorce situations, but I don't see why it wouldn't.

There are "medical authorization" forms available (at doctor's offices, for download online) that the mom could provide the stepmom, so the stepmom is allowed to act in her stead for doctor and dentist visits. We have used these forms for our children when we have left them in another's care (mostly so the caretaker is able to take action on behalf of our children in an emergency). The nice things about the medical authorization forms is that they can be issued by a parent to a named person for use on a specific day, at a specific time, for a specific event, or for use in an emergency.

 

[justalayman]

I have taken other people's children to the doctor both with just a note, and with a POA. It didn't matter either way. The doctor's office still insisted on getting the parent(s) on the phone to authorize treatment. I suspect that the doctor would either accept a note from dad, or would want dad to get on the phone. The doctor is not what I am worried about. What I am worried about is whether or not mom would raise a stink about it. If it were my friends, I would advise them that if dad can't take the child to the doctor, and mom indicates that she cannot either, then, and only then, should stepmom do it.

thanks LdiJ


the problem is that there are a lot of times the sMom is the only one that could take the children to appointments. He works. She is a stay at home mom and for the best interest for all involved, limiting the contact with mom is preferred.

there are some reasons mom could not usually take the children to the doctor but even more why she might refuse to take her own children to the doctor (again, without getting into the details or crucifying the mother, it's not a good situation)

The situation where they contact the father is possible in some situations although he is not always immediately available by phone. Just trying to help get them to a point where they can make things work as best as possible with what they have.

quincy
I honestly don't know if this works in divorce situations, but I don't see why it wouldn't.

There are "medical authorization" forms available (at doctor's offices, for download online) that the mom could provide the stepmom, so the stepmom is allowed to act in her stead for doctor and dentist visits. We have used these forms for our children when we have left them in another's care (mostly so the caretaker is able to take action on behalf of our children in an emergency). The nice things about the medical authorization forms is that they can be issued by a parent to a named person for use on a specific day, at a specific time, for a specific event, or for use in an emergency.

their are a lot of issues with the mother. I do not believe the mother would accept such a suggestion, even if only to cause strife. I don't think the sMom wants to replace mom where mom's input is actually required. Just looking to see if it is possible for sMom to act in dad's stead or if she is simply relegated to being a taxi for the children with dad setting up as much as is foreseeable before the services are rendered.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Why doesn't dad just call the doctors and ask?

 

[justalayman]

Why doesn't dad just call the doctors and ask?

I believe he is in the process of doing just that but while that may give him an answer of what they would do or accept, it does not answer the legal question of; is there anything that would allow the sMom to act in the father's stead. I suspect some providers will be at a loss as to their legal standing in the matter. They may ask for things not required or they may not ask for things that might be required. They're doctors, not lawyers. I wouldn't ask my lawyer what to do if bitten by a brown recluse so I tend to think asking a doctor the answer to a legal question might not result in a correct answer.

 

[stealth2]

Well, all I can tell you is that, when my kids' stepmom took one of mine to the doctor and authorized something I did not agree with? (we had joint legal, Dad and I.) I raised holy heck with the doctor and made it clear that they were NEVER to perform ANY procedure on one of our kids without their father's or my DIRECT approval. Or I would sue them.

Why does Dad have custody if he can't handle routine parenting tasks?

 

[I'mTheFather]

I believe he is in the process of doing just that but while that may give him an answer of what they would do or accept, it does not answer the legal question of; is there anything that would allow the sMom to act in the father's stead. I suspect some providers will be at a loss as to their legal standing in the matter. They may ask for things not required or they may not ask for things that might be required. They're doctors, not lawyers. I wouldn't ask my lawyer what to do if bitten by a brown recluse so I tend to think asking a doctor the answer to a legal question might not result in a correct answer.

I wouldn't ask a lawyer for medical advice either. This is different. The doctor would not be giving legal advice. The doctor should know what he can and cannot do legally with regard to the situation. The doctor is the only one who needs to be concerned about the legality of the situation since your friend is not concerned about issues with the mother.

 

[justalayman]

Why does Dad have custody if he can't handle routine parenting tasks?

they are a family even if the sMom is not related to the children. She is tasked with taking care of the children as if they were her own. She feeds them, bathes them, teaches them, helps them get dressed in the morning and puts them to bed at night. The father is very involved with his children but he does work a lot as well so a lot of the parenting tasks do fall on the sMom.

and while many people complain of how bad the other parent is; this is one situation where the other parent is not acting very parent like. As I said, I do not wish to make it about her although there are a great many serious issues, validated by the police, the courts, the GAL, and others. I would rather deal with figuring out what the sMom and dad can do that is in the best interest of the children rather than telling you why the mother is not the residential custodian, any more.

 

[CJane]

Well... I'm not in Ohio. But, we're in WA functioning with a KS order for 3 of the kids, a MO order for 2 of the kids, and no order at all for 1 kid. Because I'm a stay at home Mom at this point, I take the kids to the doctor (the 3 that are mine, and the 4 that are his), to the eye doctor, to the dentist, for vaccinations, etc. I make decisions for his 4 the same as I do for my 3. His ex hasn't been happy about that a few times - she didn't think the girls should get the Gardasil shot, and I did. But, it hasn't raised any legal issues, largely because she can't be here making decisions as she lives on the other side of the country and has such limited time with the girls that she really has no idea of what their day to day lives consists of.

When we were still in MO, the SMom was a SAHM, and took the girls to the doctor all the time. The decisions SHE was making (because I was ABLE to be there, and was intentionally excluded) did result in some legal issues, and an addition to the order that SMom was ONLY allowed to provide transportation to Dr Appointments, and ONLY if Dad AND I were both unable to do so ourselves, but that ANY medical decisions HAD TO be made by the parents.

So... I think it depends largely on the dynamics, the relationships between the parents, and who provides the day to day care of the children. I would, however, be rather surprised if the doctor's office ever asked for proof of ability to make decisions. I don't have the same last name as any of my kids, and no one has ever asked me for proof that I'm Mom.

***ETA: My husband is likely to deploy within the next several months. The girls will be staying with me while he's in Afghanistan. I'll be making every single decision for them, just as I do now, while he's on the other side of the planet. It's just the way it is.

 

[justalayman]

I wouldn't ask a lawyer for medical advice either. This is different. The doctor would not be giving legal advice. The doctor should know what he can and cannot do legally with regard to the situation. The doctor is the only one who needs to be concerned about the legality of the situation since your friend is not concerned about issues with the mother.

I have often found you may get an answer but it is more of that they will do rather than what the law says they can or cannot do. They make errors just like many others do. Nobody would want the providers to end up in the middle of a situation where they acted to do what they felt was the right thing only to find out it wasn't.

and what gave you the impression my friend is not concerned about the issues with the mother? Of course they are but if there is no requirement the mother be part of the decision, they do not want to involve her. Overall it is not the best of situations so attempting to have the parents make joint decisions where there is no requirement to, it will do nothing but cause more strife in the overall situation.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Here, this should cover it:

https://www.ohiobar.org/ForPublic/Resources/LawYouCanUse/Pages/Most-Minors-Need-Parental-Consent-for-Medical-Treatment.aspx

Q: Can I authorize medical treatment for my child if I know I will be away for a while?
A: Yes. If you know you are to be away, you can give permission, in writing, to another adult (such as a friend or relative) to authorize your child’s medical treatment in your absence.

Q: Must both parents give consent for our minor child to be treated?
A: No. Either you or your child’s other parent may give consent, assuming you are not divorced. If you are separated, but not yet divorced, then either parent may provide consent. If you are divorced, but both parents have legal custody (shared parenting), then either parent can sign. If you are divorced, and one parent has legal custody or is the child’s custodial or residential parent, then that parent should give consent. However, if a delay in medical care would be dangerous for your child and all reasonable attempts to reach the custodial or residential parent have failed, then the non-custodial parent can give consent.

This is what I was referring to:

so, they are not concerned about issues that require both parents input or agreement as those are times where there has to be communication between the parents. I am only speaking to situations where the father could make decisions without consulting the mother. Is the sMom able to convey the father's desires either with or without some formal declaration from him stating the sMom can do so?

 

[stealth2]

jal.... go read at steptalk. Most of the stepmoms who are on there are "tasked" with caring for their stepkids and they do not find it amusing or fun. Time for DAD to get his head in gear. This IS *HIS* job. Really.