Help for a mom whose kids were taken away

[unhappymom]

What is the name of your state? ny

My husband is bad to me but goody-good to the kids. Last year, he filed for an order of protection to throw me out of the house and get custody of the kids. He claimed that I was beating them and doing all sorts of things to them. I had no lawyer, but some people gave me advice. I cross-filed a motion, I said that he abuses and beats me, I asked for an order of protection against him and custody of the kids. The judge gave both of us orders of protection against each other and no physical stuff with the kids.

Then, my mother-in-law mixed in. My husband was in jail b/c I filed a domestic violence charge and violation of OOP against him (it was later dismissed for improper filing), and his parents ran to court and asked for temporary custody saying that it was dangerous for the kids to be with me. The judge gave them temp custody and when my husband got out of jail he moved in with them.

The judge ordered a forensic evaluation. Somehow, my husband brainwashed the kids and they said lies about me. The forensic guy recommended that he get custody and I should get supervised visitation and eventually graduate to normal visitation. He also said I should take medicine to calm down. I didn’t because its all a bunch of lies.

My husband is a master manipulator, a liar and an abuser. He bought off all the kids therapists, so now they all sing the same tune. The court appointed a law guardian for the children, so from day one my husband is flirting with her and she does whatever he tells her to. The only one who shows me some support is the social worker who supervises the visitation, b/c she sees that the visits go well, but even to her the kids say that they don’t want to come to see me.

I don’t have much money but I scraped together all I had and I got a top-notch lawyer. He took $10,000 from me for a retainer. Then my husband filed a motion that he saw this lawyer first and he must get off the case. So the guy told me he cant fight the case, but would I be willing to settle. So I said “ok, if you can get me a fair deal”. We had meeting and discussions and then he made this grand meeting where all the lawyers came and after everything he says “well, if you give him custody, I can get overnight visits or you soon, I cant say exactly when but sooner rather than later”. So I told him “no thanks, just give me back my retainer and I’ll get another lawyer who can fight for me, not tell me to settle for nothing”. So he told me “the money is all used up, and nobody will get you a better deal anyway”.

I went back to the judge and he assigned me a free lawyer, but this guy is no great shakes.

Can anybody offer me any suggestions? I am going out of my mind!!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Comply with the courts orders and also, get some psychiatric help and medication so you can think and act appropriately.
You can't play games with your kids or the court.

 

[unhappymom]

please help me

does anyone have any more advice. please.

 

[oiseeyuronhere]

does anyone have any more advice. please.

Where I live there is a place called First Call For Help. People there give free advise and can point you to others who can help with your situation. If you were to go to a doctor and get an evaluation and any help that you may need, you might prove your x wrong or at the least show the courts you are complying with what they want you to do. I know it is a bitter taste but sometimes it's better to swallow and go with the flow. That doesn't mean your wrong just that you are doing what's best for the children. Your x is making it a tug of war, you don't want to do that. Good luck

 

[stealth2]

The other posters really are right - you need to comply with what you've been told to do if you want to get things moving.

 

[mom2three]

Honestly, something smells funny....(and it's not my upper lip)

The X buys EVERY therapist off? Brainwashes ALL of your kids to lie? In fact, they lie so well to fool a forensic evaluator? And the guardian ad litem is even on his side now b/c he flirts with her?

Methinks there is more to that story.

 

[unhappymom]

The other posters really are right - you need to comply with what you've been told to do if you want to get things moving.

ok, i comply with everything the court tells me, but this stuff about medication was never said by anyone except the forensic guy and it was only a recomendation.

and also, i will admit that i was not a perfect mother, but i'm far from the ogre that my husband makes me out to be. and besides, he's plenty bad himself. thats why the judge didn't give him the custody himself, only they're by his parents who have temporary custody.

another thing is that even if i am not perfect, dont i deserve more than two stupid hours on sunday with my kids.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

As a forensic guy myself, our reccommodaitons carry a gread deal of weight. With medication, you may be able to be the mother these children need. With medication and therapy you may come so see what happened in a better light.