Help me I don't know what to do

[mamatrish87]

Your original question HAS been answered. He is free to file for more visitation or custody. A judge will make the determination.

What I wanted was to know if anyone could tell me what they think the outcome will be? Will he get the 50%? Not what you think he should get, but what in reality is normal?Maybe a woman who has been in the same shoes and went to court for the same reason, and what happened to her case, did he get what he wanted? Does anyone in california know if the judge will think it is ok?We are going to court for both support and visitation, so both will be up for modification.

 

[mkashmommy]

Some one once said that any man can be a father but it takes a special person to be a Dad. Yes spending time with you children is a good thing but what is this man teaching his child by hiding is income by getting paid under the table. He wants to see his child and I wouldnt blame him but with the priviledge of being a Dad comes finicial. You all can say that this is two different issue but really that is only true to a certain extent. What I mean is that it doesnt matter if it be the mother or the father of the child you have a responsiblity to the child to be the best you can be and that means helping emmotionally as well as finicially. I have five of my own and three from another father and he doesnt pay or anything and my children see this and want to know why he doesnt care enough to help mom with the things they need. I work hard and if it werent for the man I am married to now I wouldnt be able to do it finicially. I work and bring in good money but children are expensive and I know that it wasnt their choice to be brought into this world so I step up to the plate everytime and do what I have to do to make my children have good lives.

So before you judge to quickly on this woman she is only frustrated cause the system doesnt always work the way it was designed to .....that is to protect the children.

 

[Soon2BMom32604]

He can file for more visitation - but you can file for more support. I don't know what state you're in but in my state (Colorado) Joint PHYSICAL Custody is not usually granted to parents who don't get along. Therefore, one of you would have Physical custody & you two would probably share legal custody (make joint decisions regarding the child's religion, school, etc...). Nobody knows exactly what a judge is going to do but I wouldn't worry about him getting joint PHYSICAL custody. How old is your daughter? What are your custody orders right now?

 

[stealth2]

It's impossible to tell you what will happen, or even what might happen. It all depends on what you/your lawyer present, what he/he lawyer present, what the judge thinks, etc. There is no way anyone can tell you what might happen besides he might get what he's asking for and he might not. Anyone who gives you more than that is providing you with pure speculation.

You assume a great deal if you think noone responding to you has been in your shoes, or similar ones.

 

[Soon2BMom32604]

Stealth is right- nobody can tell you what's going to happen in court... But, I work for a law firm in Colorado & in MOST cases... The NCP has to PROVE a good point of why the child's living conditions should be changed, which usually is hard to do. But, of course, it is possible & who knows what he might come up with. Try calling an attorney & getting some answers... I know that a few of the attorneys at the law firm I work for will give phone consultations depending on their time & your situation. Or even talk to an attorneys secretary/paralegal & s/he should be able to answer some questions & make you a little more 'educated' on your situation.

 

[stealth2]

Or even talk to an attorneys secretary/paralegal & s/he should be able to answer some questions & make you a little more 'educated' on your situation.

Unless I am seriously mistaken (and I don't think I am), an attorney's secretary or paralegal CANNOT dispense anything resembling legal advice. If the firm is ethical and values their license - their support staff will NOT be able to do more than suggest you speak with an attorney or research the matter yourself. I'm sure that one of the attorneys will correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[Soon2BMom32604]

Wow Stealth - you're a little touchy today! Anyway, No, a secretary/paralegal could NOT give you information as far as LEGAL information - but s/he could tell you whether it's in your best interest to consult an attorney. At our firm if somebody calls with legal questions - the secretary/paralegal takes down information about the case & a phone number & gives it to the attorney when he's available... Some questions an attorney might not answer - being that it's only a phone 'consult.' But, you could get a majority of your questions answered... Write down all of your questions & call a family law firm in your area & they should be able to give you some kind of useful information.

 

[mamatrish87]

Thank you so much mkashmommy. You sincerely brought me a smile. I felt as though I was being bashed by some of these responses. You made me feel 100 times better.Thank you everybody for your opinion, I will keep reading on this matter. And i will see if i can get some free advice from a professional because like i said i am tight with money. But i will do what i can to stay on top of it. Once again thank you mkashmommy!!

 

[stealth2]

Wow Stealth - you're a little touchy today!

Not at all. But a secretary or paralegal isn't legally permitted to do much more than take the caller's number and let him/her know when a lawyer might call. Certainly not inform them on legalities. If someone calls expecting that their questions will be answered by a secretary - they're going to get mighty frustrated mighty fast.