Help me!!!!

[susanlj424]

What is the name of your state? I (NCP)live in VA, kids are in NJ and ex (CP) is in FL
Ok so where do I start...about 8 years ago I gave custody of my 2 children to my ex-husband during our divorce because he said he would give them "right back to me in a few months". Well stupid me, I beleived he would. Well I fought for custody about a year after our divorce and lost because the judge saw no reason to change custody plus she thought since my new husband was in the Army, it "provided an unstable environment for the kids". Well to make a long story short, the ex-husband joined the Navy, hass been deployed, and has since been remarried TWICE. My kids are now 11 and 9 and since the ex is deployed all the time, he gave local parentis to my parents. The kids have stayed with my parents on and off in the 8 years. The ex has told my parents time and time again that he would get papers in order so my parents could adopt the kids well now the ex is not deployed and wants the kids back. The kids have had so many emotional problems and are severly depressed about the thought of going back to live with their father. The ex is in FL, I live in VA and the kids are in NJ. The kids tell us that the father and new wife have beat them. I suspected it in the past and did call CPS but they didn't come up with anything. My ex is a criminal and has violated our court order so many times. So my question is: The kids have been in NJ since Aug 2004 can I file a emergency change of custody in NJ or do I have to travel to GA, where the court order was first made? Please help me.

 

[Jillian483]

What is the name of your state? I (NCP)live in VA, kids are in NJ and ex (CP) is in FL
Ok so where do I start...about 8 years ago I gave custody of my 2 children to my ex-husband during our divorce because he said he would give them "right back to me in a few months". Well stupid me, I beleived he would. Well I fought for custody about a year after our divorce and lost because the judge saw no reason to change custody plus she thought since my new husband was in the Army, it "provided an unstable environment for the kids". Well to make a long story short, the ex-husband joined the Navy, hass been deployed, and has since been remarried TWICE. My kids are now 11 and 9 and since the ex is deployed all the time, he gave local parentis to my parents. The kids have stayed with my parents on and off in the 8 years. The ex has told my parents time and time again that he would get papers in order so my parents could adopt the kids well now the ex is not deployed and wants the kids back. The kids have had so many emotional problems and are severly depressed about the thought of going back to live with their father. The ex is in FL, I live in VA and the kids are in NJ. The kids tell us that the father and new wife have beat them. I suspected it in the past and did call CPS but they didn't come up with anything. My ex is a criminal and has violated our court order so many times. So my question is: The kids have been in NJ since Aug 2004 can I file a emergency change of custody in NJ or do I have to travel to GA, where the court order was first made? Please help me.

Check with a lawyer on this one because it seems pretty complex. It seems to me like the children have been abandoned. As far as I know, if they have been abandoned, you might actually be able to file where you live now.

 

[susanlj424]

Thanks for the advice. I will contact an attorney here to see what they say. Appreciate it.

 

[Jillian483]

Thanks for the advice. I will contact an attorney here to see what they say. Appreciate it.

Have the children been abandones? How long have you known? Who is caring for them right now? Does that person have the right to do so?

 

[susanlj424]

Have the children been abandones? How long have you known? Who is caring for them right now? Does that person have the right to do so?

The kids have been with my parents in NJ since Aug 2004. The ex was on a ship somewhere with the Navy and the new wife said she wouldn't take care of his kids while he was gone. He won't let the kids stay here with me and my new husband so they are with my parents. My ex provides them with no money nor does he call. My parents think that they have no right to fight for custody since they are a 3rd party.

 

[Jillian483]

The kids have been with my parents in NJ since Aug 2004. The ex was on a ship somewhere with the Navy and the new wife said she wouldn't take care of his kids while he was gone. He won't let the kids stay here with me and my new husband so they are with my parents. My ex provides them with no money nor does he call. My parents think that they have no right to fight for custody since they are a 3rd party.

Okay then the children should have automatically been given to you when he got on than ship. You would have been next in line for a caretaker for the child. You need to get to court right away and get custody of them I can only immagine what they might be thinking. If I was them I would be thinking "what is so wrong with my mom that I have to stay with grandma instead of her?"

 

[Jillian483]

Furhtermore

I would contact his 1st shirt first thing in the morning. When he joined the military he should have signed a parenting plan with them (this is mandatory and I don't think for a second that the military forgot to request this of him) On this parenting plan he had to list who would be caring for the children when he deployed. You should heve been the person on that list. I would find out why. People hate it when you contact their 1st shirts. He would probably have a lot of explaining to do.

 

[susanlj424]

My parents know of my ex's violent history and they know how hateful he is towards me and they think its better that they have custody of my kids than me. My daughter wants to either live with me or Grandpa (and Grandma) and my son only wants to like with my parents. He and I never had a chance to form a bond and he hates all women because his dad does too. When I had my court ordered visitation with my kids, he came to my house with the police and threatened to have me arrested if I didnt give him the kids. I showed the cops my court order and they said that he's the CP and he can do what he wants.

 

[susanlj424]

I would contact his 1st shirt first thing in the morning. When he joined the military he should have signed a parenting plan with them (this is mandatory and I don't think for a second that the military forgot to request this of him) On this parenting plan he had to list who would be caring for the children when he deployed. You should heve been the person on that list. I would find out why. People hate it when you contact their 1st shirts. He would probably have a lot of explaining to do.

I contacted his commander when he first did this and they said he can choose who he wants to to care for the children and that if I didn't like it, that I should take it to court. His commander is of course on his side and thinks I am the evil one...trying to ruin his career. My ex had unregistered guns not secured in Government housing and the Navy did nothing. He has committed insurance fraud 3 times and no one wants to investigate it further because it looks like I am being an ex-wife seeking revenge.

 

[Jillian483]

My parents know of my ex's violent history and they know how hateful he is towards me and they think its better that they have custody of my kids than me. My daughter wants to either live with me or Grandpa (and Grandma) and my son only wants to like with my parents. He and I never had a chance to form a bond and he hates all women because his dad does too. When I had my court ordered visitation with my kids, he came to my house with the police and threatened to have me arrested if I didnt give him the kids. I showed the cops my court order and they said that he's the CP and he can do what he wants.

The whole cop thing resides as to what the exact wording of the parenting plan says. Furthermore... it doesn't matter what your parents want. They have no rights to them. As far as I know, if your husband is unable to care for the children at any time (for more than 24 hours I would think) then he should be giving them to you. If you are concerned about his violent nature then don't answer your door when he comes and instead call the cops. Make sure that the children go to a room where they cannot witness the police coming over. If I was in your situation I would be at the courthouse filing paperwork as soon as your ex left for custody. He abandoned his children. He could not care for them and instead of taking them to their legal mother he "pawned" them off on someone else. If he does not want them around you then he needs to court and have the plan changed untill then you are their mother and you are who the children should be with.

 

[susanlj424]

I contacted his commander when he first did this and they said he can choose who he wants to to care for the children and that if I didn't like it, that I should take it to court. His commander is of course on his side and thinks I am the evil one...trying to ruin his career. My ex had unregistered guns not secured in Government housing and the Navy did nothing. He has committed insurance fraud 3 times and no one wants to investigate it further because it looks like I am being an ex-wife seeking revenge.

My parents are great with the kids and although I agree with you about them staying with me, I also see that my kids finally have stability after 8 years of being tossed from one of my husbands many failed marriages to another. The kids have even lived with my exs mother and my exs father and all have alienated themselves because of my ex being too controlling and non-supportive. I feel if the kids do stay with me, that when (not if) he comes here, he will brnig problems and when i call the cops, they won't help. I have been let down so much with the court system in the past that I have no faith in Justice anymore.

 

[FLFamof5]

You NEED to speak to an attorney

Find an attorney in your area that will give you a free consultation. You know that you have a very sticky situation here and please be careful on the advice that you receive in regards to your problem.

GA still has jursidiction until someone changes the venue. Kids have been residing in NJ with your parents for over 6months and I am not sure what the stipulations are in regards to permanent residency in NJ. Then you've got your Ex is FL who might be turning in paperwork.

Your case is definitely on a timeline, so seek legal counsel ASAP. Good Luck!

 

[Jillian483]

My parents are great with the kids and although I agree with you about them staying with me, I also see that my kids finally have stability after 8 years of being tossed from one of my husbands many failed marriages to another. The kids have even lived with my exs mother and my exs father and all have alienated themselves because of my ex being too controlling and non-supportive. I feel if the kids do stay with me, that when (not if) he comes here, he will brnig problems and when i call the cops, they won't help. I have been let down so much with the court system in the past that I have no faith in Justice anymore.

The cops wont help you right now because you don't have anything in writing that says that you can have the children. You need it in writing. Also as FLFamof5 said, you still need to check on which state has juristiction. Typically it is where the children reside but I am not sure if they would be considered as residing with your parents or with your ex. Did you read my post about the 1st shirt? You should do that. I used to be in the military and it would definitly be worth calling and finding out about the parenting plan.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

It is NOT typically where the children reside. The state that issued the order has jurisdiction until one or the other parent attempts to register it in a different state, and have it granted .

It is not automatic because the children reside in another state.

Continuing exclusive jurisdiction comes to mind folks.

 

[LdiJ]

I would think that you would have to file in GA. I would assume that GA would retain jurisdiction at this point. However a consult with an attorney would probably give you a clearer picture. This situation is complicated and needs an attorney.

Honestly, if you had taken this to court the first time that he was deployed, the kids would have been turned over to you during his deployments and you wouldn't be dealing with any of this right now.