Florida, Just got a note from my attorney, mediation scheduled for Valentines Day**************..how appropriate. I reminded my attorney that I have not recieved a copy of the wifes financial and disclosures. Guess what? She did not realize that she had not recieved until I asked. Needless to say, I am a bit paranoid. I am hanging in there with her, just would like some input from anyone that can help. She asked me for a list of questions that I wish for her to ask at the mediation. Help anyone?????? Wife left the house and kids over a year ago. Married 10 yrs, after the first year, no sexual relationship, just anxiety and stress on my part. When she complained, I stated no one is holding you back, feel free to leave if you are not happy. She stayed on and now she feels because married for 10 yrs I owe her. Give me some ideas. Looking for insights from everyone, especially attorneys or judges. Thanks fladad.
-
FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.
Help, what do I do at mediation? Att. & Judges
- Thread starter fladad
- Start date
Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills Please click a topic or scroll down for more.
seniorjudge
Senior Member
What do you want out of the marriage?fladad said:
What (if you know) does she want?
What would be your resolution of the whole thing if you were in charge of this situation? (Other than a million dollars and a nineteen year old blonde mistress.)
seniorjudge, I was hoping you would see this!
To be honest, I feel I was used by a gold digger. She appeared so nice, friends told me to be cautious....did I listen, of course not. First son born 9 months after our wedding, 2nd son came 14 months after the 1st. Reality set in for the wife, then the backstabbing began. Child abuse and so on and so forth. Custody will not be an issue, she has gone as long as two months with not seeing the boys and she lives 12 miles away. Then she will go for stints on seeing them after school once per week. I work had, pay a nanny because I work in the car business and have strange hours at times. Boys and I are doing well. I am worried I will be put in more of a financial bind if I give her any of the house. Getting a loan now is a joke given my credit status. I am on my way back now, I feel that she has never had anything and doubt she ever will. We have owned two homes since married, I took money out of my 401K program earned prior to our marriage to purchase a home. Had to pay off a lot of old debt to get that loan. Her name was not on the first deed or the second deed, loan either. The children are with me, and child support was court ordered a year ago to me from her. I don't want to give her any of the home I paid for, and I don't want to risk financial devestation while she goes on her merry way screwing some other poor fellow. Even her own family are against her, its pretty wild. Bottom line, I have giver her every piece of her personal possessions, I don't want to give her one cent! I believe she wants me to sell the house and give her half the equity. The blonde is a great idea! As a judge, what would you do? What do you think I should do. Attorney says she is going to go for abandonment. I am greatful for your input. Notice you were from a Parish, must be LA right? Hope Katrina was nice to you. Thanks fladad
FLORIDA`seniorjudge said:
To be honest, I feel I was used by a gold digger. She appeared so nice, friends told me to be cautious....did I listen, of course not. First son born 9 months after our wedding, 2nd son came 14 months after the 1st. Reality set in for the wife, then the backstabbing began. Child abuse and so on and so forth. Custody will not be an issue, she has gone as long as two months with not seeing the boys and she lives 12 miles away. Then she will go for stints on seeing them after school once per week. I work had, pay a nanny because I work in the car business and have strange hours at times. Boys and I are doing well. I am worried I will be put in more of a financial bind if I give her any of the house. Getting a loan now is a joke given my credit status. I am on my way back now, I feel that she has never had anything and doubt she ever will. We have owned two homes since married, I took money out of my 401K program earned prior to our marriage to purchase a home. Had to pay off a lot of old debt to get that loan. Her name was not on the first deed or the second deed, loan either. The children are with me, and child support was court ordered a year ago to me from her. I don't want to give her any of the home I paid for, and I don't want to risk financial devestation while she goes on her merry way screwing some other poor fellow. Even her own family are against her, its pretty wild. Bottom line, I have giver her every piece of her personal possessions, I don't want to give her one cent! I believe she wants me to sell the house and give her half the equity. The blonde is a great idea! As a judge, what would you do? What do you think I should do. Attorney says she is going to go for abandonment. I am greatful for your input. Notice you were from a Parish, must be LA right? Hope Katrina was nice to you. Thanks fladad
Thanks Bali Hai, what about not showing up?
Florida, I wont get into trouble for not showing up? My attorney has already gotten a nice note from me about her dealings with me. I have invested a bit of cash, that I really can't afford. So can't start from scratch with another attorney. I am now just trying to do her job!! I personally think I would have better luck letting the judge make the decision based on the facts, what do you think? Thanks again for taking a bit of your time. fladadBali Hai said:
LdiJ
Senior Member
Realistically, you have been married for 10 years, and I sincerely doubt that you aren't going to have to share the equity in the home with her. I know that's not what you want to hear, but I suspect there is no real way around that. Other assets will also need to be split as well (any 401ks that accrued during the marriage etc.)
It may be possible to avoid a 50/50 split, but I simply can't see a judge awarding her nothing.
It may be possible to avoid a 50/50 split, but I simply can't see a judge awarding her nothing.
Thanks LdiJ, What angle should the attorney go after
Florida, Do you or anyone reading this know of any angles the attorney should go after? My attorney said she thought abandonment of property, children etc. That combined with the substantial economic reprecussions it will cause on myself and children, I am the custodial parent. Also, we have a child support order in place, do we need to do another in the divorce proceedings or will the origional stand? Thanks fladadLdiJ said: