Hmmmm, just curious.

[peppar]

What is the name of your state? Texas

I am in the process of divorce. My ex and I have not involved any attorney's, and are agreeing amically on visitation.

According to all the postings here it seems like no one can agree on anything, and hell breaks lose. My question is, is that something I should look forward too. Is it bound to get ugly?

I have heard of this PAS problem, and it seems like it is a stereo-type to the disagreeable parents, or the ones that don't get their way.

I'd like to go about my relationship with my ex and my child in a friendly manner, but don't want any surprises in the future. Do I make sure that our agreements are in the court papers, or take her word for it. She is rather a trusting person as I am, and everything has worked out so far. Any comments would be great.

 

[Grace_Adler]

What kind of custody arrangement are you trying to work out?

As far as visitation, get everything specific, pick up and drop off times, pick up and drop off places, method of transportation, times of visitation, phone visitation, make up visitations, what you will do in the event someone doesn't show up or is late.. etc.

www.deltabravo.net has a lot of good info on it as well.

Any time someone doesn't follow the court order, they can be held in contempt.

 

[bugaboo]

Honestly, it all depends on you and her. I am one on the VERY FEW that have a GREAT relationship with my ex. We've actually shared birthdays...either by my going to his place or him coming to mine. We each are with someone else and we both except that. Every divorce has that chance of turning ugly...but it can stay a very positive envirornment for your children if you and your ex MAKE it that way. It will take work. I'm not saying that there aren't times that I want to ring his neck...but I just remember...We're not married anymore, I don't have to live with him or like what he does, as long are OUR children are happy, safe, fed and clean there are to be no problems. What he does in his life is his business. I don't obsess myself with what he's doing..and he the same. We give each other that RESPECT.

Our divorce decree just states that custody arrangements have already been decided between parties and no child support is to be sought by either party...because we share custody. Now I wouldn't recommend stating it as such. Why? We only have a verbal agreement on custody...Either could get pissed off at any time and go file for full custody...but there is trust there. I would go ahead a state very clearly what you BOTH agree on in your decree. That way there are no holes.

As far as people on here. There are a few bitter and jelous women on this board...they know who they are. They are angry that there EX spouses have moved on and no longer cry over them, and now they use their children as pawns to hurt their EX spouses. Nothing more than that. As long as you both care about the children and NEVER want to hurt your children, I think you'll be ok...good luck.

~Bug~