Holiday visitation

[haiku]

my husband si supposed to split, the day too, but how awful, its supposed to happen at 11:00 am, instead we take christmas, on the 26th and keep them the rest of the vacation. The kids love having 2 christmas's and life si so much easier!

 

[Mattiesmom]

The bio father was a no call no show yesterday suprise, suprise. We will be at the sherief's dept at 2:45pm today to try again. Thank you again everyone for your information!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Have you tried to contact the father re the visitation to confirm that you will have the child there, or to discuss your plans, that is the intent of the agreement language in the visitation orders. Is there any communication?
What exactly are you telling your child?

 

[Reyna7]

I feel for this boy

I have followed this thread and have to say that I feel for this boy. What a way to spend the holidays, going to the local Sheriff's Office to wait and not have his dad show up. I bet that is making him feel so loved?

OP, this may make you happy, thus your smiley faces, but what about your son? Trust me on this, I have an ex that has not been involved with his kids and have seen first hand the damage done. Please do what you can to try and foster a relationship, do not act like you won because he was a "no show". Call him, try and make something work out, for your son. Does he want to see his dad?

I am not trying to lay the blame on you, because I do not know you or your situation, only what you have written on here. Just put yourself in your son's shoes for a moment. Base what you do on that.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

While OP claims that ex has control issues it is very apparent that they in fact have control issues. They open this thread claiming that this is their 1st Christmas visitation and seeking our advice as it is too late to seek the court ordered mediation stated in the court order, yet the day before had been more interested with denying the father his rights, no mention of how to proceed with the upcoming visitation on 12-22-4, https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=210795
This child is being put in the middle of this and more than likely, the father is under the impression that he can't visit his son or contact OP to arrange for visitation, while OP is busy making sure HER son thinks his father doesn't care and OP's bending over backwards to allow it all the while knowing otherwise. Does she have a restraining order in here somewhere, if so does that play a role, why the exchange at the sheriff's office, all tactics intended on alieniating the son from his father, thus all the smiley faces. Of course she is not going to take this to mediation in a timely manner if there is a dispute because they might not find in her favor. She doesn't give us all the facts either, just what she wants us to hear so she will get affirmation for her agenda. What a way to spend the holiday?

 

[LdiJ]

While OP claims that ex has control issues it is very apparent that they in fact have control issues. They open this thread claiming that this is their 1st Christmas visitation and seeking our advice as it is too late to seek the court ordered mediation stated in the court order, yet the day before had been more interested with denying the father his rights, no mention of how to proceed with the upcoming visitation on 12-22-4, https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=210795
This child is being put in the middle of this and more than likely, the father is under the impression that he can't visit his son or contact OP to arrange for visitation, while OP is busy making sure HER son thinks his father doesn't care and OP's bending over backwards to allow it all the while knowing otherwise. Does she have a restraining order in here somewhere, if so does that play a role, why the exchange at the sheriff's office, all tactics intended on alieniating the son from his father, thus all the smiley faces. Of course she is not going to take this to mediation in a timely manner if there is a dispute because they might not find in her favor. She doesn't give us all the facts either, just what she wants us to hear so she will get affirmation for her agenda. What a way to spend the holiday?

Rmet...do you realize how many parents end up having to exchange at police station's or sheriff's offices? That isn't uncommon at all. Many times its the behavior of one parent that causes it...sometimes its both. And yes, she did mention in this thread that there was a restraining order. Also there is at least some indication that the father wants to TPR (or at least his wife wants him too).

Also, its clear to me that this is the first COURT ORDERED Christmas visitation. Based on the fact that dad has no court ordered extended visitation at all...and not even full eow visitation, its relatively clear that he hasn't been a constant presence in his child's life.

I bet he was a no show again today...and yes, maybe it was because for some reason or another he thought he couldn't see his child.....however its equally possible that its because his wife didn't want her holiday interrupted by the back and forth.

 

[Mattiesmom]

Yes there is a protective order in place the bio father was physically abusive after the divorce. He did show tonight, I did have an agreement prepared for extended visitation but he choose not to do the extended visitation, not even to allow the child to be picked up Sun. morning so I have to go get my son tonight at 12:00pm tonight. For those of you who think I am having fun or enjoying this situation I have one question... Have you personally ever be in this kind of situation? I hope not because I would not wish it on anyone!!!