Home Alone

[dannysmyboy]

What is the name of your state?California.

I would like to know what the laws says about "appropriate age" to be left alone in the home.

Here's a brief background.

1 daughter 17, 1 son 10. Daughter currently takes son to school and picks him up after school. They stay home together for approx. 3 hours before we get home. Daughter is going off to college and will not be bring son home from school next year. Son will be 11 1/2 by that time.

Anyhow, we were thinking about him staying home alone for about 3 hours during the work week, until 6pm. We have an X-wife in the picture, who we suspect may try to take us to court and force us to get a sitter.

Does anyone know if we will have a problem with the CPS system regarding leaving my stepson alone?

thanks

 

[URServed]

What is the name of your state?California.

I would like to know what the laws says about "appropriate age" to be left alone in the home.

Here's a brief background.

1 daughter 17, 1 son 10. Daughter currently takes son to school and picks him up after school. They stay home together for approx. 3 hours before we get home. Daughter is going off to college and will not be bring son home from school next year. Son will be 11 1/2 by that time.

Anyhow, we were thinking about him staying home alone for about 3 hours during the work week, until 6pm. We have an X-wife in the picture, who we suspect may try to take us to court and force us to get a sitter.

Does anyone know if we will have a problem with the CPS system regarding leaving my stepson alone?

thanks

Shouldn't be a problem. If the ex insists on a sitter, she can pay for it. I think the age that children can be left alone in situations like this is 12. Maybe it varies per state.

 

[Zephyr]

11 years old....5th grade, I don't see why that would be a problem, especially since he will have a nice quiet house to get all his homework done.

although as he gets older- in doing some research for a community grant I came across statistics indicating that most teen pregnancies are thought to be conceived between the hours of 3-5 in the afternoon, just something to keep in mind

does he do extra curriculars that would keep him supervised and busy during that time?

 

[stealth2]

It all depends on the kid's maturity. Be advised that, should something happen while he's home alone, you could be charged with neglect.

 

[bononos]

How mature is he mentally. Is a a pretty responsible kid?
If so, then set some major ground rules and your a-ok.

 

[dannysmyboy]

He's pretty mature for his age. He's 5'1", 140 (husky). We have a german sheppard and 2 labs, that are housebroken and stay in the house when the kids get come. Our next door neighbor has a key and has access to our home anytime of the day or night, she stays at home.

We've found out that she does leave my stepson alone on occassion, although she would never admit it to us....but it's different isn't it...(I'm being sarcastic, in case someone didn't get that)....

When the kids have days off of school, my husband always took the same days off to spend it with them, so he would continue this when my stepson has days off next year. (We have the children every Wed, Thurs, and every other Fri, Sat, Sun), about 15 days a month.

So hopefully, I've provided enough information for everyone to ponder, if it would be okay to leave him at home from 3pm - 6pm, weekdays???

 

[stealth2]

We've found out that she does leave my stepson alone on occassion, although she would never admit it to us....but it's different isn't it...(I'm being sarcastic, in case someone didn't get that)....

It might be different - depending on the length of time and frequency of his being left alone. There IS a difference between, say, an hour once a month and three hours daily.

Again, regardless of his age or maturity, should something happen while he's home alone, Dad should expect to be charged with neglect. That's a risk that he'll have to weight.

 

[jessie99]

was a stepmommie too once upon a time

when my son was 12 he Begged me that he was able to be alone from 3-6 after school and didnt need a sitter. i agreed on a temorary basis with all the standard rules - call when you get home, do homework, no outdoor play, dont answer door, i'll call a couple of times till i get home.. yadda yadda..

first day alone... decides "who would know" if he just took his bike to the corner to buy a soda... on way back home he falls off bike, cuts hand on soda bottle, numerous scrapes, and his bike careens into hwy traffic causing an accident... he sat in the ER wounded without treatment for 3 hrs while i frantically searched for him because he couldnt remember where i worked even though i had the same job for years! he was scared and his mind just went blank.. of course, no treatment until parents were located because he was a minor...

second day alone... let him stay home (alone) from school because of prev days injuries... he was playing loud video games when he realized the phone was ringing and missed it.. called to see if it was me and then noticed (looking down from his bedroom window) a car with two men and 'a lot of phone books)... they came knocking at the door and i called the police who arrested the men trying to break in... they had looked up our home number because our name was on the mailbox to see if anyone was home... needless to say, we got our name off the mailbox - fast!

i say, find a way to pay for the sitter.... you just never know What could happen when kids are alone..... kids come first.

 

[dannysmyboy]

when my son was 12 he Begged me that he was able to be alone from 3-6 after school and didnt need a sitter. i agreed on a temorary basis with all the standard rules - call when you get home, do homework, no outdoor play, dont answer door, i'll call a couple of times till i get home.. yadda yadda..

first day alone... decides "who would know" if he just took his bike to the corner to buy a soda... on way back home he falls off bike, cuts hand on soda bottle, numerous scrapes, and his bike careens into hwy traffic causing an accident... he sat in the ER wounded without treatment for 3 hrs while i frantically searched for him because he couldnt remember where i worked even though i had the same job for years! he was scared and his mind just went blank.. of course, no treatment until parents were located because he was a minor...

second day alone... let him stay home (alone) from school because of prev days injuries... he was playing loud video games when he realized the phone was ringing and missed it.. called to see if it was me and then noticed (looking down from his bedroom window) a car with two men and 'a lot of phone books)... they came knocking at the door and i called the police who arrested the men trying to break in... they had looked up our home number because our name was on the mailbox to see if anyone was home... needless to say, we got our name off the mailbox - fast!

i say, find a way to pay for the sitter.... you just never know What could happen when kids are alone..... kids come first.

I do have a son of my own, he's 21 now and living on his own. I too was a single parent and I went to college 2 nights a week, got my BA degree.

He stayed home alone with no major incidents, of course (water heater busted one year), begged me to let him go out somewhere with a friend, this and that. Unless we had prior arrangements, it was no way, Jose. My son had a cell phone as well as access to addresses and phone numbers of all family members, emergency services, taped to the frig. My son knew early in his life not to cross me, or lie to me...so we didn't have any issues with leaving him alone. To this day, he cannot lie to me.... Also, his father didn't have a problem with me leaving him alone...he would call him on occassion to check up on him....

My stepson will get his own cell phone when he starts school next year (even though this doesn't make any difference to the thread)..and we have addresses, telephone numbes and emergency contact #s on our frig now...

We have a computer, but the 10 year old is not allowed on it when we are not home, only the 17 year old. We do not subscribe to any IP services, no do we allow "chatting" on our computer. That's what the phone is for. I'm a computer geek, so I know how to check if they were accessing sites that are not allowed. The computer is in our kitchen wide open, so we don't worry about pedafiles or that sort of stuff.

We can afford a sitter, that's not the problem. So if California Law says that the legal age to be left alone is 12, and we do leave him for a few hours, can mom still try to take us to court????

 

[jessie99]

when my son was 12 there were no cellphones or computers yet... a cellphone sure would have added to my comfort level... even if the law says its ok to leave the child alone at age 12, again it would depend on the childs maturity and other variables... if mom is a jealous monster she may still look to the law just to aggravate you but i doubt anything can be done.

 

[trustknow1]

Colorado...Similar deal...my 12yr old daughter's 18yr old sister is off to college this year. She now comes home from school and stays alone until Mom comes home (sometimes this is 10pm,etc.). Been dealing with this for 10 yrs. She would leave 8yr old with 2yr old. Not much info to find. 12yr is the answer I got the most when I searched. I installed security motion dectectors this year....mom disconnected. I bought daughter cell phone...mom instructs her to keep it off. Mom wants no evidence. Try more and you are a stalker. Nobody cares unless something happens....good luck.

The following is a local Denver TV station article. Sorry, lost the link....so I posted the entire article...

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
9NEWS.com - Colorado's On-Line News Leader


Leaving Children Alone January 7, 2001
Under what circumstances may a child be left alone by the parents?
When is a child old enough to be without its parents?

The @ISSUE story is about children not mature enough to be at home without adult supervision, and the legal consequences of doing so or a parent.

Children can be left alone for a number of reasons, ranging from Mom going next door to make a phone call, to "latchkey kids" who are completely alone after school.
How often are children left alone? A study by the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research sampled 1500 children nationwide and found that about one in four are completely alone after school, including travel time from school to another location. Over 3% are alone somewhere other than home. Almost one in five children are in supervised after school care.

Parents typically have few guidelines to help them determine when and whether they can trust their children to take care of themselves and to handle emergencies. The average amount of time spent unsupervised by adults ranged from 47 minutes for children ages 5 to 7, to one hour and 15 minutes for children ages 11 and 12.

How does the law deal with a parent who leaves a child alone.Parents are vulnerable to criminal prosecution if a young child left home alone becomes seriously injured. Abandonment and neglect laws generally do not set a clear age threshold for leaving a child unsupervised at home.

Colorado is no exception when it comes to somewhat ambiguous abandonment and neglect laws. Each case is taken individually. There is a rough rule of thumb about 12 years old being the age when a child can be safely left alone. This guideline comes from state and federal labor laws that permit babysitting at the age of 12.

But, as the @ISSUE story points out, even a 12 or 13 year old can be considered neglected if left alone in the wrong circumstances. If there is a gun in the house, or if some unexpected event occurs (e.g., the power goes out), then even a 12 year old (or older) may not be able to cope with being alone. The investigating officer has nearly complete discretion to decide if the circumstances of the child and its environment constitute neglect.

The legal consequences of abandonment and neglect can be severe for a parent. If a parent is found to have neglected a child, that child can be taken away from the parent, or parent, and placed elsewhere. Then the parent must fight to convince a judge that the parent is fit enough to care for the child.

Parents should remember that most unintentional injury-related deaths occur when children are out of school and unsupervised.
REFERENCES
Colorado Youth Employment Opportunity Act of 1971: C.R.S. §8-12-101

 

[opus05]

when my son was 12 he Begged me that he was able to be alone from 3-6 after school and didnt need a sitter. i agreed on a temorary basis with all the standard rules - call when you get home, do homework, no outdoor play, dont answer door, i'll call a couple of times till i get home.. yadda yadda..

first day alone... decides "who would know" if he just took his bike to the corner to buy a soda... on way back home he falls off bike, cuts hand on soda bottle, numerous scrapes, and his bike careens into hwy traffic causing an accident... he sat in the ER wounded without treatment for 3 hrs while i frantically searched for him because he couldnt remember where i worked even though i had the same job for years! he was scared and his mind just went blank.. of course, no treatment until parents were located because he was a minor...

second day alone... let him stay home (alone) from school because of prev days injuries... he was playing loud video games when he realized the phone was ringing and missed it.. called to see if it was me and then noticed (looking down from his bedroom window) a car with two men and 'a lot of phone books)... they came knocking at the door and i called the police who arrested the men trying to break in... they had looked up our home number because our name was on the mailbox to see if anyone was home... needless to say, we got our name off the mailbox - fast!

i say, find a way to pay for the sitter.... you just never know What could happen when kids are alone..... kids come first.

But, lets be honest..this could have happened to a person of ANY age.

 

[IrishLady47]

Only Maryland and Illinois have laws or statutes with specific ages. Many states or counties have guidelines. Contact your local child protective services. Also, this website has links & helpful information on factors to evaluate for each child and/or circumstances. http://www.nccic.org/poptopics/home...problems do not relate to your circumstances.

 

[casa]

I do have a son of my own, he's 21 now and living on his own. I too was a single parent and I went to college 2 nights a week, got my BA degree.

He stayed home alone with no major incidents, of course (water heater busted one year), begged me to let him go out somewhere with a friend, this and that. Unless we had prior arrangements, it was no way, Jose. My son had a cell phone as well as access to addresses and phone numbers of all family members, emergency services, taped to the frig. My son knew early in his life not to cross me, or lie to me...so we didn't have any issues with leaving him alone. To this day, he cannot lie to me.... Also, his father didn't have a problem with me leaving him alone...he would call him on occassion to check up on him....

My stepson will get his own cell phone when he starts school next year (even though this doesn't make any difference to the thread)..and we have addresses, telephone numbes and emergency contact #s on our frig now...

We have a computer, but the 10 year old is not allowed on it when we are not home, only the 17 year old. We do not subscribe to any IP services, no do we allow "chatting" on our computer. That's what the phone is for. I'm a computer geek, so I know how to check if they were accessing sites that are not allowed. The computer is in our kitchen wide open, so we don't worry about pedafiles or that sort of stuff.

We can afford a sitter, that's not the problem. So if California Law says that the legal age to be left alone is 12, and we do leave him for a few hours, can mom still try to take us to court????

There is no 'Set' age in CA. Basically it's a parental decision- but as stealth warned you in previous post- if ANYTHING happened while he was alone...it'd be your butt on the line.

I saw 2 cases where the parents were not in any trouble- and interestingly, in both cases, the children had completed a babysitting &/or 1st aid, CPR course.

I would definately have your son take such a course prior to daughter going to college. Go over ground rules re; being home alone...call periodically until you feel he's adjusted...have neighbor peek in on him at least once...and let him know he will have to be babysat if he breaks any rules.

 

[dannysmyboy]

thanks everyone for the great responses. As far as ground rules, their already in place. No friends, no leaving the house, even for the 17 year old.

If the 17year old makes plans or the 11 year old wants to hang out with a friend. It has to be discussed and cleared the night before. We do not allow them to call us at work the day of and ask for permission, it will not happen.

So when our 17year old goes off to college, the same rules will be in place. The 11 year old has been left alone for a short time (1/2 hour or so) in our home, and we know that mom leaves him alone with a her 3-year old, nights so she can go party. But of course, she denies this.. When we call her house, the 11 year old doesn't answer, because he's been told to, *that's a whole other thread....) and his sister is out hanging with her friends. Also, he doesn't like babysitting an "out of control" 3 year old, and that's how we found out about her leaving him alone, he sneaks calls to us, to ask us to tell this kid to behave....

In our home, we feel he's already been "prepped" to be left alone these last few years. We'll definitely try to work something out with supervision for him whether it's a neighbor, or a sitter. I wanted to know what legal issues the mother can bring up. As you've probably suspected, she's all about control, and what happens at our house is her business, at her house is none of ours.