How can I get my children back?

[MelBel]

What is the name of your state? california

5 years ago my ex stuck a gun in my mouth and attempted to kill me. He was arrested and accepted the plea bargain of 2 misdemeanors with one year probation..WOW! I got full custody of my 3 children then 12, 7, and 3. I got remarried 3 years later and my husband wanted to move back to California. We were living in Las Vegas, Nevada at the time and that is were my jurisdiction is. I asked the court to allow me to take my children with me. I was denied. I appealed it. I waited in Nevada for over a year while my husband was in CA. My husband and I were financially drowning since we were supporting 2 households and I just needed to get away from my ex. I figured I would move and wait for my court date but I could not take the kids (my ex made it perfectly clear he would charge me with kidnapping). The courts then gave him custody. All I wanted to do was make a better life for my kids. We live on 2 acres in the country and have horses. My children want to live with me and they even stated it to the court when we had our first trial. It has been almost 2 years and I still do not have any court date with the Surpreme Court. I do not know what to do since I cannot afford anymore legal counsil, I have spent over 8,000 just for the Surpreme Court. The Judge did give me a opportunity to come back a plea my case since there is now a change in circumstances, but I have no money. My question is "how is this judge able to give him custody when I have a case pending in the upper court?" So now if the upper court allows me to move with the kids, do I have to then take him back to court to get custody again? He has a very, very smart lawyer and I am afraid to go against him myself.

 

[vstax]

Hello

I have no helpful suggestions, sorry, I am just curious on what grounds they took custody from you and gave it to him?

 

[stealth2]

You may well be between a rock and a hard place with this. Did the Supreme Court actually agree to hear your appeal?

 

[suzielynn]

Did you move and leave the kids with their father while you were waiting? That would be your first mistake and would be why they gave him custody.

 

[MelBel]

Re: Hello

I have no helpful suggestions, sorry, I am just curious on what grounds they took custody from you and gave it to him?

After my mother died, I was living with her to help support the costs of our house in CA, I had no other place to live. We have no family in Las Vegas and no money to afford to get a apt, so I had to move to CA with my husband. My x did not want to take the kids at first and I told him I would be more than happy to take them. However, he told me then he would file kidnapping charges. He did everything he could to keep me in the state. I made a big mistake on moving since he now has custody. I never thought in my wildest dreams it would turn out like this. I am in a position now where even if I did move back chances are I would never get the kids. All I wanted was to move to a nicer place with them where all thier family is. They have two step sisters, thier grandparents and my step daughter just had a baby. I feel like a failure to my kids.

 

[MelBel]

You may well be between a rock and a hard place with this. Did the Supreme Court actually agree to hear your appeal?

Well, I really don't know. All the paperwork was supposed to be filed sometime in March of this year (this has been going on over a year and a half). I have been unsuccessful in getting in touch with the lawyer who did the appeal. Seems like after they get your money you have a hard time getting ahold of them. I have not received any paperwork what-so-ever. No bills, nothing. So at this point I am in Limbo! The only thing I know is that we tried to resolve it before I went to Supreme Court. I offered my x liberal visitation and that I would pay for transportation and he would not have to pay child support. He almost agreed to it, but of course in the end he declined the offer. My lawyer told me that I had a very valid reason to appeal, but who knows, I really have no faith at all when it comes to justice or lawyers.

 

[stealth2]

sigh..... I'd be willing to bet that either the appeal was never filed, or the court declined to hear it. You should probably call the clerk's office and ask them. But at this point, you may well be right about not getting them back - it is very hard to regain custody once you've given it up.... I'm really sorry.

 

[MelBel]

How can I get my children back

sigh..... I'd be willing to bet that either the appeal was never filed, or the court declined to hear it. You should probably call the clerk's office and ask them. But at this point, you may well be right about not getting them back - it is very hard to regain custody once you've given it up.... I'm really sorry.

Wouldn't the lawyer have to file the appeal? I paid her to file it, and would I have any recourse if I found out that she didn't? My daughter who is going to be 12 in October of this year has called me every night crying. She wants to live with me. Is she old enough to make that decision? She wants to go to the Judge but she is so afraid of her dad finding out. Do you know what I can do? The judge told me the last time we went to court he would hear my case again since there was a change of circumstances. He made the comment that it was going to come back to him anyway. I feel so helpless because I do not know where to start. Would it be wrong to send the judge a letter and let him know she wants to see him. I would appreciate any help.

 

[stealth2]

I think your first step needs to be finding out the status of the appeal. I would think if the lawyer didn't file it - you might have some recourse through the state bar. But you need to know first.

As for your daughter... the judge may or may not listen to what the she has to say - but she doesn't get to choose where she lives. He does (or she, as the case may be). You would need to file for a change in custody due to a change in circumstances. I don't see a way around that.

 

[MelBel]

What about a letter to the judge. Would this be something that would be looked upon as I am trying to undermine the father?

 

[stealth2]

A letter to the judge would be viewed (most likely) as an ex parte communication which is really frowned on. If you're lucky - the judge will just ignore it. If you're not - he'll hold it against you. You have to have some sort of motion in front of the judge, and then you can ask him to speak with your daughter. But you're not going to be able to get her in to talk to him w/o your ex knowing about it.