How difficult will it be for me to move to another state with child?

[bonbon2]

What is the name of your state? WA

I'm planning on moving to CA with my 2 children this summer. One child is from a previous marriage. When I filed for a divorce, the only way he would grant me a divorce was if I let him have joint physical custody. He gets visitation 3 days every week but returns to our home every night. I wanted so badly to end the marriage and marry my new husband that I agreed to it. We have tried from the start to get this changed but have been told by lawyers we probably won't be able to. She just started kindergarten and hates being shuttled back and forth from his house to ours 3 days a week every week. He is immature and irresponsible. He would rather have her suffer this ridiculous schedule than let her have a normal life where the father gets visitation every other weekend and she is free to have a normal life. Finally we are trying to move mainly for my career but he threatens to fight it out with lawyers. How likely is it that we will be able to move?

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? WA

I'm planning on moving to CA with my 2 children this summer. One child is from a previous marriage. When I filed for a divorce, the only way he would grant me a divorce was if I let him have joint physical custody. He gets visitation 3 days every week but returns to our home every night. I wanted so badly to end the marriage and marry my new husband that I agreed to it. We have tried from the start to get this changed but have been told by lawyers we probably won't be able to. She just started kindergarten and hates being shuttled back and forth from his house to ours 3 days a week every week. He is immature and irresponsible. He would rather have her suffer this ridiculous schedule than let her have a normal life where the father gets visitation every other weekend and she is free to have a normal life. Finally we are trying to move mainly for my career but he threatens to fight it out with lawyers. How likely is it that we will be able to move?

You need to check WA state guidelines for Move-Aways. The father will have the Right to challenge the move. You will have to demonstrate the move is in the best interest of your child (not just you). It will be up to the judge to decide whether to allow the move or not. Since the father has joint physical custody- that will make the move even more difficult to approve because you would be dramatically limiting his time with his children. IF you did get permission to move, expect to have to pay travel expenses for visitations.

 

[jslopez711]

He gets visitation 3 days every week but returns to our home every night.

Explain to us why this is not in the best interest of the child.

I wanted so badly to end the marriage and marry my new husband that I agreed to it.

Didn't think it through! So you were seeing this guy before you got the divorce, sort of jumping from one bed to the next. Nice!!!!

We have tried from the start to get this changed but have been told by lawyers we probably won't be able to.

Extremely difficult if the father doesn't want her to move

She just started kindergarten and hates being shuttled back and forth from his house to ours 3 days a week every week.

You should be helping your daughter cope with this instead of what you are doing. It is in her best interest that she spend as much time with her parents (either or) as much as possible. DON'T LOOSE SIGHT OF THIS!!!!!!!

He is immature and irresponsible.

Of course, aren't they all?

He would rather have her suffer this ridiculous schedule than let her have a normal life where the father gets visitation every other weekend and she is free to have a normal life.

The more time he gets to bond with her, the BETTER, weather you agree with it or not.

Finally we are trying to move mainly for my career but he threatens to fight it out with lawyers. How likely is it that we will be able to move?

Again, good luck on this. If the father is as active with his daugher expect an even bigger fight. I see you cashing in some 401k's!!!!

 

[CJane]

What is the name of your state? WA

How likely is it that we will be able to move?

I'm absolutely, 100% positive, that the court is going to let you move.

Whether or not they let you take the child with you is another thing entirely. In THAT scenario, when a father is involved and bonded with his child, and exercises his visitation periods frequently (especially the mid-week ones), the chances of a judge letting you move just so that you can improve your employment prospects, your chances are pretty slim.

 

[jslopez711]

I'm absolutely, 100% positive, that the court is going to let you move.

You are so right, I forgot the original question.
Of course you can move dear (OP), just leave the girl behind.

 

[stealth2]

He would rather have her suffer this ridiculous schedule than let her have a normal life where the father gets visitation every other weekend and she is free to have a normal life.

Uuuuh, this is NOT the definition of a normal life for a kid. A normal life is one where the parents stay together, rather than find new bedmates.

 

[Zephyr]

for being irresponsible, the dad sure seems to be taking the opportunity every chance he gets to be a father to this child, if only everyone on this forum had this complaint...

not trying to be snarky with you but it seems to me that now that you and new guy are together you would like nothing more than for daddy #1 to get lost, try thinking about your child's best interests, job's come and go and are anywhere (maybe you could even telecommute-more and more popular these days) but she only has 1 daddy, and he is obviously trying, don't take that away from her.

with his level of involvement I can't see a judge allowing you to take her away.

 

[CJane]

Uuuuh, this is NOT the definition of a normal life for a kid. A normal life is one where the parents stay together, rather than find new bedmates.

Heh. I'm thinking that's not what she wants to hear.

 

[Ron1347]

I'll take bets, and give odds...that 'you' may be relocating...but your 'daughter' won't be! Seen and heard your identical story many a time right here in my own State of Michigan. And just like 'here', it ain't gonna happen the way you're hoping!

 

[nextwife]

Just curious what career the poster is pursuing that can't be advanced in WA and requires CA?

 

[Kansas4me]

Uuuuh, this is NOT the definition of a normal life for a kid. A normal life is one where the parents stay together, rather than find new bedmates.

That is what I was going to say.

As for the rest of my thoughts, I will keep them to myself. I doubt I can say what I feel about a woman who will do anything to get her divorce so she can marry guy number 2, even agree to joint custody of her BABY with a man she now says is SO IMMATURE AND IRRESPONSIBLE.

Pot calling the kettle black, maybe????????????????????????????

 

[Laugh_Hard]

Don't move for the kids sake.

The children deserve the relationship with their father to be kept "accessible".

If you move without giving proper notice, your ex can bring a contempt of court action against you in Washington, and rightfully so.

Time to grow up and be smart.