How do you think a judge will rule on this?

[poiduke]

While Your There

I am not about to bash you, rather fore warn you of the future.I too am a ncp
with 3 children (21,19,18) the eldest in college finishing up her 3rd year, the 19 yo just started college.The 18 yo lives with me and is still in h.s. I did not have an order in place for the college years and thought paying support would be the "right thing". There are guidelines set forth by each state to govern the post secondary school years.While my case is in Indiana child support ceases at 21 but my ex wanted me to continue to pay support for that child as well as take out additional school loans etc. Thank God I have an excellent att. who is guiding me thru making the process. I too want what is best for my children but they also need to take responsibity too! Take of them and yourself and seek advice from your att.
All the best,
Poiduke

 

[TNBSMommy]

Another blunt observation... you are way over extended if you can't live on 6700 a month... I personally can't have sympathy for someone griping about money problems when they bring in $1870 a week.

 

[djworza]

TNBSmommy wrote:
"Another blunt observation... you are way over extended if you can't live on 6700 a month... I personally can't have sympathy for someone griping about money problems when they bring in $1870 a week."

First of all, I am not asking for sympathy. Second, my take home pay is now $3,997 per month after the new CS order, not $6,700 per month as you estimate. This is over 50% of my gross pay taken from me in taxes and CS!! I busted my butt to earn my BS degree in Computer Science during the time I was raising a son and working full time, while my ex was raising the other boy and happily earning a minimum pay and collecting $435 per month from me. She did NOTHING to better herself during this time and had ample opportunities to do so. Now that I have successfully raised the son I had custody of, had him graduate and go into the Air Force, my ex feels she is ENTITLED to an extra $865 per month when she certianly didn't need it when I was raising the other child. I will help my younger son to the best of my ability and wish for him to be successful in life. But, I am tired of women who feel that they are ENTITLED to these large sums of money for child support just because the ex husband is successful. This case is an obvious gold digging case and the judge made note of it in our court appearance by stating that he understood why she came to the court for more CS and then stated that unfortunately he was obligated to follow State of WI giudelines. It is really sad that there are women out there that do this type of thing.

 

[swanlorri]

I am sorry ..I am a woman and feel that you men get screwed more than anyone in all parties involved!. I was a single mother of two and my significate other left before our 2nd child was born...due to us never being married the state would not help me what so ever track this man down...after all these years (12 to be exact!) I did it on my own and my children have not missed out on any thing at all!
I agree that your ex wife is just irritated that you are now happily married....if she was able to make it this far on what you sent her it shouldn't matter how much you make now! You obviously care for your son...for some reason the stupid courts do not take that into concideration either do they..?? and you managed to raise the other on your own..why do they not look at that!!????
I am now married to a man that has the ex wife from hell.....and I mean she is the ruler of hell too! She has manipulated and scammed the government and everyone else you can think of... she shouldn't even be allowed to have children let alone raise them...she is on husband number 4 now and does not work...but she still gets $700 a month for a child that WE have 50% (or more)times a month..and the times she does have her daugther she shoves her off to another family that my step daughter referres too as her "foster family",,,,,
If you do have the money to fight ...fight it all the way! Some where out ther must be a real human judge that HAS to see that the fathers of these children are not bitching about paying..but they are wondering where the money goes too! She doesn't need any more than she has been use to in the past...you've showed that you are a great dad and have bought the child gift or whatever else you may want to call it...I don't care if you make $15,000 a month...no child needs that much money....IT IS the WIFE that is spending it on herself because she wants things YOU HAVE WORKED FOR!!!...TELL ME...how much money really goes to the children anyway!? I would love to see those records...
So here's one woman behind you sir..I hope you win in the end....and she gets what she deserves...and that is JACK SQUAT!
Good Luck!

 

[djworza]

WOW, all I can say to that is AMEN!! I'm sure there are pleanty of "dead beat" NCS's out there, but unfortunately, we get nailed because of it. My 17 yo was here yesterday and even agrees with me. I put him on a plane to spend his spring break with his brother in NC. Now if I didn't care about him do you think I would drop $500 for him to get away (from his mom). Sounds like we need to get those 2 together (your husbands ex and mine)

 

[swanlorri]

Too bad we can't get them together...My husband is such a roll over it would make you sick to hear everything that he has done for this woman...INCLUDING PAYING FOR A BOOB JOB! which was deducted out of the child support for about 3 years until it was paid off...now tell me..am I the idiot or what?! I some how do not see what BOOBS have to do with raising a child but then again like I said before..I did it on my own and have enjoyed the fact that I can say it too...No matter if I did get child support I would rather see it put into a fund for schooling or something other than just put in the lazy ass mom's pockets...do you think the courts will ever see what the real world is liek? Too bad they can't...the majority of the woman out there take advantage of this...and I also feel that if the WIFE is the one to file for the divorce and the husband does not show any real abusive or neglect to the wife then they should also take that into consideration...I just makes it seem to me that woman can go out get married to some rich guy get knocked up and rip him from limb to limb even if he wants to be a major part of the childs life...once again..I am ashamed of the woman in our country...I am a woman but thank God I do not put myself in that catagory...I wish you the best..you have worked hard and you and your new wife should not have to go through this head ache just because your ex is a rag!!
Thanks for letting me vent! take care and give your ex hell from this gal in AZ!!

 

[stealth2]

the majority of the woman out there take advantage of this...

This is as much bull**** as saying all men are deadbeats. Get off the stereotypes, already.

 

[swanlorri]

every has a right to their own opinion...I will stay with what I think, strickly because I have known many, many woman both younger and older than myself, who are out for th money and the money and that's it!..Maybe not in your neck of the woods.. which is great if that is true,,,but come on out to Arizona and see the swarms of 'em out here!!!

..I also never said a thing that all men are deadbeats....obviously there will always be two sides of the coin...BUT remember; I NEVER RECEIVED ANY CHILD SUPPORT WHATR SO EVER...AND THE CHILD SUPPORT DIVISION NEVER HELPED ME FOR A MINUTE,,,AND IT MADE ME A HELL OF A LOT MORE STRONG AND HAS ALSO SHOWN MY CHILDREN ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!.....so, this is not because I was screwed..it is because I see it, and hear about it daily! NO MATTER WHAT THE ARGUEMENT WILL BE FOR THE REST ON MY LIFE ON THIS PLANET...woman take advantage of anything and everything they can....it's in our blood...but many of us try to fight the urge to be what we were born with....the easy way we can be both a bitch and a sweet heart at the same time...men can't do that at all! they are eithe rone or the other...we can be both and it is excepted????

 

[stealth2]

NO MATTER WHAT THE ARGUEMENT WILL BE FOR THE REST ON MY LIFE ON THIS PLANET...woman take advantage of anything and everything they can....it's in our blood...

I guess it takes one to know one. And maybe you were born with that urge, but not all of us were. I still think stereotyping says more about the individual doing it (i.e. you) than the group being stereotyped against. And it's not saying anything good.

 

[swanlorri]

say as you wish...you obviously are a bit up tight over the issue and that was not the point I was making...but it sure seems that this issue somehow got your goat a little... don't you think? Relax..it does take one to know one...and yes I could very easily fall into the same mold...but I won't..I care too much about my self and my family to get so out of hand and self absorbed with monitary issues...we all need it..with out a doubt!!...so I feel we all should work for it too! just just the men any more....
welcome to the 21st century....

 

[stealth2]

Nope, didn't get my goat at all. I just don't like ignorant people who rely on stereotypes. Be they based on gender, religion, skin color or anything else. The only people who do that are stupid, ignorant and uneducated.

 

[swanlorri]

Just some quotes I thought you may enjoy reading..just for the humor of it...have a good one!

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
***Dale Carnegie

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces. ***Maureen Murphy

 

[djworza]

Well, all I will say is this. There are women out there who don't get the help they need from their NCS's and that's a shame. There are also women out there who are gold diggers and want as much money as they can get. My ex is milking the system and me as we both raised our childeren (we each had one) and now that mine is gone, she takes me back to court because she knows the court will order more support. It doesn't matter to her that I want to do right by my son, in my own way!! She wants the control over my money...better yet, she wants my money to do what she wants with it. I could very easily take care of my 17 yo for a lot less than $1336 per month. Again, read the previous posts to see what had transpired with our situation and tell me why she deserves more money!!! Maybe my case is not the norm, but the courts and the system need the flexibility to take these types of situations into account. Otherwise, the system is flawed, and big time flawed.

 

[LdiJ]

TNBSmommy wrote:
"Another blunt observation... you are way over extended if you can't live on 6700 a month... I personally can't have sympathy for someone griping about money problems when they bring in $1870 a week."

First of all, I am not asking for sympathy. Second, my take home pay is now $3,997 per month after the new CS order, not $6,700 per month as you estimate. This is over 50% of my gross pay taken from me in taxes and CS!! I busted my butt to earn my BS degree in Computer Science during the time I was raising a son and working full time, while my ex was raising the other boy and happily earning a minimum pay and collecting $435 per month from me. She did NOTHING to better herself during this time and had ample opportunities to do so. Now that I have successfully raised the son I had custody of, had him graduate and go into the Air Force, my ex feels she is ENTITLED to an extra $865 per month when she certianly didn't need it when I was raising the other child. I will help my younger son to the best of my ability and wish for him to be successful in life. But, I am tired of women who feel that they are ENTITLED to these large sums of money for child support just because the ex husband is successful. This case is an obvious gold digging case and the judge made note of it in our court appearance by stating that he understood why she came to the court for more CS and then stated that unfortunately he was obligated to follow State of WI giudelines. It is really sad that there are women out there that do this type of thing.

Well...you aren't going to like this answer...but its something that you should really think about. Your ex could have very easily gone back and gotten more child support from you years ago....despite the fact that you had custody of one of the kids. You really got away very lightly for a significant number of years. I do understand that it hurts....but at least you don't have to deal with it for very long.

 

[djworza]

LdiJ Wrote:
Well...you aren't going to like this answer...but its something that you should really think about. Your ex could have very easily gone back and gotten more child support from you years ago....despite the fact that you had custody of one of the kids. You really got away very lightly for a significant number of years. I do understand that it hurts....but at least you don't have to deal with it for very long.


When I got custody of the older child my ex was the president of an electrical contracting business she had with her husband. I was paying $435 per month at the time for both boys. This was 25% of my income at the time. In the court battle over custody where the older boy was placed with me, my attorney did a recalculation of support based on the business income that she had vs my income...17% each. It calculated out so I would owe her $250 per month. I told my attorney to just keep it at $435 per month as I didn't need that additional cash and it would avoid any changes to the CS order currently in place. My ex and her hubby ran the business into the ground over the years and they ended up loosing the business and got divorced. That was about 6 years ago. So, it would seem that she got off lightly for at least 8 years while they had the business and I had the older boy. In the last 6 years she has done nothing to better her self through education or looking for better emnployment. So I am lucky in the sense that it will soon be over but you are wrong about her being able to go back to court for more support years ago. Maybe a year ago when the older boy turned 18, but remember, I too could have asked for a reduction back when I got custody of the older boy but didn't. It really doesn't "hurt" but it sure pi$$es me off that she did this knowing that I didn't ask for more when I could have. It is these types of women that give them a bad name in the eyes of NCP's that are getting robbed!