How to change from Sole to Joint

[goodmama1]

What is the name of your state?Indiana. Custody evaluator recommended Sole custody due to parents history of bickering. Rational was Joint wouldn't be healthy for children to be subjected to years of arguing over every detail of their lives. I agree it was probably best for kids at the time. Sole custody was awarded. There is no question of child abuse at all. Both parents are good parents. NCP has been in councelling since seperation, and has completed parenting classes. Has good relationship & daily contact(phone) w/kids. How can NCP proceed to convince judge Joint custody is now (or sometime in future) appropriate? Obviously extreme efforts have been made to be amicable and get along. CP will fight a change. What type of documentation or evidence can be presented? I don't know how to show "measurable" changes. I will never face a judge again without enough evidence to support my case. So what can I do to "prove" to a judge Joint is now more appropriate?

 

[acmb05]

You Would

What is the name of your state?Indiana. Custody evaluator recommended Sole custody due to parents history of bickering. Rational was Joint wouldn't be healthy for children to be subjected to years of arguing over every detail of their lives. I agree it was probably best for kids at the time. Sole custody was awarded. There is no question of child abuse at all. Both parents are good parents. NCP has been in councelling since seperation, and has completed parenting classes. Has good relationship & daily contact(phone) w/kids. How can NCP proceed to convince judge Joint custody is now (or sometime in future) appropriate? Obviously extreme efforts have been made to be amicable and get along. CP will fight a change. What type of documentation or evidence can be presented? I don't know how to show "measurable" changes. I will never face a judge again without enough evidence to support my case. So what can I do to "prove" to a judge Joint is now more appropriate?

Have to show that it would be in the best interest of the children.

Evidently extreme efforts have not been made(see highlighted portion) Maybe they have been made on your part as far as you are concerned but it seems that the ex would still have a problem.

Btw why joint custody why not just try for more visitation first.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?Indiana. Custody evaluator recommended Sole custody due to parents history of bickering. Rational was Joint wouldn't be healthy for children to be subjected to years of arguing over every detail of their lives. I agree it was probably best for kids at the time. Sole custody was awarded. There is no question of child abuse at all. Both parents are good parents. NCP has been in councelling since seperation, and has completed parenting classes. Has good relationship & daily contact(phone) w/kids. How can NCP proceed to convince judge Joint custody is now (or sometime in future) appropriate? Obviously extreme efforts have been made to be amicable and get along. CP will fight a change. What type of documentation or evidence can be presented? I don't know how to show "measurable" changes. I will never face a judge again without enough evidence to support my case. So what can I do to "prove" to a judge Joint is now more appropriate?

What is your current parenting schedule?

 

[goodmama1]

You're right. I'm predicting CP fight me. That would obviously show we can't agree. When I've asked CP to discuss more visitation, I'm told I don't have any rights. If I had joint, CP says "might" consider it. But since I don't, "tough". Doesn't sound like CP is thinking of kids. Right now I live 500 miles away due to job. You're saying I should ask the court for more time? Next fall my oldest will start school, so he can't be out of town as much. I hope to move back to their town this year. I thought I'd have more leverage with time if I could get rid of the stigma of CP having sole.

 

[LdiJ]

You're right. I'm predicting CP fight me. That would obviously show we can't agree. When I've asked CP to discuss more visitation, I'm told I don't have any rights. If I had joint, CP says "might" consider it. But since I don't, "tough". Doesn't sound like CP is thinking of kids. Right now I live 500 miles away due to job. You're saying I should ask the court for more time? Next fall my oldest will start school, so he can't be out of town as much. I hope to move back to their town this year. I thought I'd have more leverage with time if I could get rid of the stigma of CP having sole.

Well...until you move back to the children's home town the issue is really pretty moot....depending on the parenting schedule that you have now....which you still haven't clarified.

 

[goodmama1]

Current parenting schedule is 80 overnight visits per year. As the kids aren't in school yet, I meet CP 1/2 way to exchange kids appx once per month for about 1 wk each visit. Next fall, this can't happen due to school schedule.

 

[goodmama1]

Yes, but I'm planning . Whether I'm able to move back or not, I really want more input in their lives. I want joint and more time. I really want custody, but I'm trying to move one step at a time.

 

[LdiJ]

Current parenting schedule is 80 overnight visits per year. As the kids aren't in school yet, I meet CP 1/2 way to exchange kids appx once per month for about 1 wk each visit. Next fall, this can't happen due to school schedule.

A normal parenting schedule with a 500 miles distance would be 1/2 to 3/4 of the summer, 1/2 of Christmas break, every or every other Spring Break, and every other Thanksgiving break.

Using 1/2 of the summer, that adds up to about 60 overnights per year.

Obviously the only way for you to recieve the 80 you are ordered to receive, is if you get most of the summer. (once school is involved) Therefore, as long as you live 500 miles away...there isn't more for you to get.

There really is no point in you addressing this issue now. You need to address it once you move back to dad's community.

 

[goodmama1]

When I get back I want to be READY. I think now is the time to begin preparing documention. My original question was directed more to how to present things so that a judge will agree with me. What sort of things can I do now to get my case in order?