How to change venue?

[classyica]

Long story short. I have 3 year old child support/visitation papers issued in Ca. My child's father agreed to let me move to the state of PA, which we did. Court papers give him 30 days a year and he is now asking for more. I am not totally against him having more time, but we have gone from him demanding 6 months down to 3. I homeschool my child, who is now almost 9, so for the most part visitation is not limited to summers. This summer is different because my child wants to participate in 4-H which will make him unavailable to his father until after the fair. The big problem is that everytime my ex doesn't get his own way he threatens me with court. Can I get the case transfered here so he can't drag us clear across the county? He has now moved out the county where the papers were first filed.

Thanks

 

[MinCA]

It won't hurt to file for change of jurisdiction based on neither parent living in the original county.

 

[stealth2]

I wouldn't count on uch success since he does still live in the originating state.

 

[MinCA]

Yeah, changing states would be tricker, but I don't see the original county keeping it. I don't know how to change venues, but it still couldn't hurt to try. Worst case scenario is that the original county keeps it, or changes to Dad's current county, and Mom still has to travel for court.

 

[classyica]

Thanks for your replies.

I am not sure what to do at this point. This business of threatening me with court because things aren't going his way is getting old real quick. There are other underlying issues and the order needs to be changed/updated regardless of the visitation time issue. My child is now old enough to have to go and talk to a mediator in Ca and the traveling issue is what bothers me right now. I am not understanding why courts don't like to give up cases to other states. Even child support is no longer taken care of through the DA in my case.

 

[stealth2]

I am not understanding why courts don't like to give up cases to other states.

It's pretty simple. You apparently created the distance. Why should your ex have to accomodate that by having travel to your state for court? You wanted to move? You travel. Period.

 

[classyica]

That part I understand. But why should I have to drag my son across the country everytime my ex decides he isn't happy with the current order. I have been in compliance with the order from the get go, he hasn't. Wouldn't it make more sense for a local court and judge to talk to the child in an area where the child is most comfortable?

 

[MinCA]

It's true you moved. One could ask why you moved when you knew the old state had jurisdiction and that you would have to "drag" your son across the country for court. I doubt you HAVE to take your son. And he's probably not complaining to much on the inside getting to come to California. He may complain on the outside to please you. California is a vacation to a kid, unless you make a point of making it unfun.

As I said, it won't hurt to try to change venues, but you'll have to accept that you may still have to travel because you are the one who moved away.

I'm trying to figure something out. You said Dad had six months custody, that he demanded get lowered to 3 months, now he has 30 days, and is demanding more.

Or did he demand six months and have to settle for three, then you got it lowered to 30 days by moving, and now he's wanting more time with his son?

 

[classyica]

The 30 days is how the order reads now. He at one point requested my son for 6 months out of the year. I told him I didn't think that was reasonable, right now. He dropped it for a couple of months, came back with the 3 month summer break. I compromised with 1 1/2-2 months. Now we're back to 3 months again.

I have never made it unfun for my son to go. He does look at it as a vacation and that being said, he doesn't want to be on vacation for 3 months. I have always made it ok for my child to go and encouraged him to want too. The underlying issue is that his concerns and wants regarding visits are being overlooked and I would want someone other than myself to know what he wants.

The big change in the situation occured when I remarried last year. Ever since then its been his way or the highway.

 

[stealth2]

The underlying issue is that his concerns and wants regarding visits are being overlooked and I would want someone other than myself to know what he wants.

Yep. 'Cause kids don't get to make those sorts of decisions.

 

[classyica]

I'm not asking for him to make that decision and I don't want him to make that decision at his age. But most judges (even in Ca) would take his feelings into consideration. In CA if a child is over the age of 6 they go before a mediator to have their concerns addressed and they are taken into consideration when the judge makes his decision.

 

[MinCA]

How was it not in your son's best interest to see his dad 50% of the time? What if Dad had the child, and said he didn't think 50% of the time with you is "reasonable"?

Stats for you. These are indpendent of me. From the Indiana Civil Rights COunsel, and, where possible, the originating source is listed. Please rethink 50/50.



Children from fatherless homes account for:

63% of youth suicides. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human
Services, Bureau of the Census).

71% of pregnant teenagers. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human
Services)

90% of all homeless and runaway children.

70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from
fatherless homes (Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept
1988)

85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders. (Source:
Center for Disease Control).

80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger. (Source: Criminal
Justice & Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26, 1978).

71% of all high school dropouts. (Source: National Principals
Association Report on the State of High Schools).

75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers. (Source:
Rainbows for all God`s Children).

85% of all youths sitting in prisons. (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia
jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992).


Children from fatherless homes are:

11 times more likely to exhibit violent behavior than children from intact "married" homes.

5 times more likely to commit suicide.

32 times more likely to runaway.

20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders.

14 times more likely to commit rape.

9 times more likely to drop out of high school.

10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances.

9 times more likely to end up in state-operated institutions.

20 times more likely to end up in prison.

37.9% of fathers have no access/visitation rights. (Source: p.6,
col.II, para. 6, lines 4 & 5, Census Bureau P-60, #173, Sept 1991.)

"40% of mothers reported that they had interfered with the
non-custodial father's visitation on at least one occasion, to punish
the ex-spouse." (Source: p. 449, col. II, lines 3-6, (citing Fulton)
Frequency of visitation by Divorced Fathers; Differences in Reports by Fathers
and Mothers. Sanford Braver et al, Am. J. of Orthopsychiatry, 1991.)

"Overall, approximately 50% of mothers "see no value in the father`s
continued contact with his children...." (Source: Surviving the Breakup,
Joan Kelly & Judith Wallerstein, p. 125) Only 11% of mothers value their
husband's input when it comes to handling problems with their kids. Teachers &
doctors rated 45%, and close friends & relatives rated %16.(Source: EDK
Associates survey of 500 women for Redbook Magazine. Redbook, November
1994, p. 36)

"The former spouse (mother) was the greatest obstacle to having more
frequent contact with the children." (Source: Increasing our understanding of
fathers who have infrequent contact with their children, James Dudley, Family
Relations, Vol. 4, p. 281, July 1991.)

"A clear majority (70%) of fathers felt that they had too little time with
their children." (Source: Visitation and the Noncustodial Father, Mary Ann
Kock & Carol Lowery, Journal of Divorce, Vol. 8, No. 2, p. 54, Winter 1984.)

"Very few of the children were satisfied with the amount of contact
with their fathers, after divorce." (Source: Visitation and the Noncustodial
Father, Koch & Lowery, Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, Vol. 8, No. 2, p. 50,
Winter 1984.)

 

[classyica]

My child is not in a father less home. Father hood is more than providing a sperm sample.

Secondly, my child's best interests! My ex overdosed the day after my son came home 2 years ago and had a massive stroke as a result. Had I been able to afford it at that time this wouldn't be a issue right now. I want the order changed regardless of which court holds the order and was simply asking if venue could be changed. I am in no way preventing my child from seeing his father and make every effort to make sure it gets done.

My child's best interests are a father that wants to be a part of his life all year, not just summer time. Phone calls are few and far between until about 3 months before school lets out. He has moved and won't give info about where, which is against the court order. How is it in my child's best interests to not know where he is going let alone be able to get in contact with him?

 

[stealth2]

I'm not asking for him to make that decision and I don't want him to make that decision at his age. But most judges (even in Ca) would take his feelings into consideration. In CA if a child is over the age of 6 they go before a mediator to have their concerns addressed and they are taken into consideration when the judge makes his decision.

Then ya shoulda thoughta that before movin', hon.

 

[MinCA]

Your son's father lives thousands of miles away because YOU chose to move. His father wanted 50% custody. You offered 1 1/2 months. YOU moved too far away for your son and his father to see each other much during the school year. And you complain that his dad only sees him during the summer.

Your own actions caused all of this. A child's opinions are not heard until the child is of an age to for a valid opinion.

"I want to live with so-and-so because I have abetter opportunity for education." That's a thought that will be heard.

"I want to live with my mom because I don't get to see my dad much because we live too far away." That's not good.

I don't recall the law number, but it's somewhere in the Family Code. A child is rarely heard before the age of 12, and even then, a judge doesn't have to hear out the child, even older than 12, unless the thoughts are well-formed. And on top of that, a judge does NOT have to put the child where the child wants to be.

So you are mistaken if you think the judge or mediator will listen you your son because he's older than six.