How to handle the birth certificate

[Jamieandpiper]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Texas
My unborn baby's biological father not in the picture nor will he ever be- that established, I am trying to decide what the best course of action would be for filling out the Father portion of the birth certificate. My fiance is in the military, and really wants to be on the birth certificate. He and I are really excited about the baby, however, my parents keep trying to convince me of how bad of an idea it would be to put him on the birth certificate in the event that we were to divorce or something (real optimists, huh?) My question is, if I didn't put him on the birth certificate when she is born, what would be involved in getting him on there after she was born? Would there be any problems just putting him on there later, or would he have to adopt her? If that is the case, since there isn't a father on the birth cert. will they try and get me to find the biological father/ sperm donor? Would it just be easier to just uput him on there- that is what we both want but I am getting a hard time about it from my parents. He and I have been together for a long time, we broke up for about 4 months this year and I got pregnant- he isn't just some guy whose poped up and decided he wants to be on the birth cert. Any sugestions?

 

[stealth2]

Ig you put him on there knowing he is not the father, you are committing fraud. It's that simple. To be legally placed on the BC, he would have to adopt the child, and yes, the biofather would have to consent. That's the way it works.

 

[Jamieandpiper]

Sorry but that really didn't help me any... Any other sugestions?

well, the bio father is a 3 time felon who has already broken probation, and from what I hear, is planning on skipping out and going to mexico. I haven't talked to him in about 7 and a half months- and his whole family is shady and is keeping him fairly well hidden so I don't turn him in. So, one, I'll probably never see him again (and I really hope I don't) but on the other hand, if he gets his court stuff worked out, no he probably wouldn't consent. Athough your post was informative about the fraud stuff, it was still most unhelpful and didn't answer any of my questions.
1. What would I have to do to get him on the birth cert. later on if I choose not to put him on it when she is born?
2. Would it be less hassle in the long run to just put him on there when she is born?
(ya know, I'm not to worried about the whole fraud thing)

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

To bad your not worried about the "Fraud Thing".

 

[snodderly]

Did you come to a legal advice forum hoping you would find someone who would tell you to dismiss that fraudulent aspect of what you are wanting to do? You got the only sensible response you are going to get.

Now, you may not be worried about the fraud aspect of it all but you really should consult your fiance. If he agrees to lie and claim this child as his own he endangers his military career. Is he really willing to do that just so he can have his name on the child's birth certificate?

Question 1. Stealth has already answered this...you would have to go through legal channels and have the child adopted. This would mean the fathr giving consent.

Question 2. No it would not be less hassle in the long run. When the biological father decides he wants to be in the child's life then you will have to deal with him. It might be six months from now or ten years from now. You can bet, at some point this biological father is going to show himself and make some demands. When he finds out you lied and had another man's name put on the birth certificate you will end up in court. I image, at that time you will begin to worry about the "whole fraud thing."

Go ahead and put lie, break the law. It will get you what you want right now but you will pay for it down the road. Just think, when you are in jail for fraud your child will be raised by the biological father!! Getting worried yet?

 

[stealth2]

You say "the bio father is a 3 time felon who has already broken probation". Unless he raped you (and I will admit there's that possibility) he was apparently good enough to get it on with. Sorry, that dog won't run here.

And frankly, your parents are right to be concerned about the future of your marriage. Here you are, carrying one man's child while already engaged to another. The same man who you've broken up with for 4 months (this year - not sometime in the past), during which time period you were presumably intimately involved with another. That doesn't scream "stability" to most people.

Once again (with feeling, even):

1. What would I have to do to get him on the birth cert. later on if I choose not to put him on it when she is born?

A: He would have to adopt the child. This will involve court proceedings and either the consent of the biofather or a court order terminating his rights.

2. Would it be less hassle in the long run to just put him on there when she is born?

A: No, it would not. As you were told above, should the father straighten out and decide he wants to be a parent to his child, he can wreak havoc in your life - but especially the child's - at a later date. The worst thing you could possibly do is lie to your child about this. Imagine the emotional trauma from finding out at 8, 12, 15 that your mother has lied to you for your whole life. Because the truth WILL come out, no matter how you try to hide it.

(edit) The long and the short of it is that, even if you put his name on the BC, he is NOT the father. Doing so is both fraud and perjury, which are criminal offenses that CAN be prosecuted.

 

[nextwife]

One does not just get to arbitrarilly pick the father THEY like better at the moment. This child HAS a biofather. The biofather you CHOSE to have sex with. Likely you chose unprotected sex with him as well. You can't erase away that fact by committing fraud. Regardless of what you now think his faults may be.

The other posts are correct. Just pretending that BF IS the biodad IS fraud.

 

[Jamieandpiper]

ugh

Well, duh, I would assume that I would have to go through the adoption process to have him put on the BC- If I remember correctly, I did post on an adoption page. My question that has yet to be answered is what that entails. Having the bio father consent is NOT mandatory I know I can 1. File for abandonment. 2. he could be deceased, or 3. prove him an unfit father- which would be really easy to do considering his history with his other 2 children. Since all this I did some hunting and found out that 2 years ago he dropped off his son at his grandmas house and they haven't heard from him since, and his daughter hasn't seen in him in a year. Plus he hasn't paid child support for either of them ever. His criminal history with theft and drugs is as long as my arm. And FYI I didn't know Any of this when we started dating. When we met he was managing an electronic store under his brothers name, I was under the assumption that he was a college grad who had just gone through a messy divorce. You think I'd actually date/sleep with him had I known all this crap? Why do you think I'm so desprete about legal advice on what I can do?

 

[stealth2]

Well, duh, I would assume that I would have to go through the adoption process to have him put on the BC- If I remember correctly, I did post on an adoption page. My question that has yet to be answered is what that entails. Having the bio father consent is NOT mandatory I know I can 1. File for abandonment. 2. he could be deceased, or 3. prove him an unfit father- which would be really easy to do considering his history with his other 2 children.

A: To get court-ordered termination of his rights, you would have to jump through assorted hoops. You couldn't just say "I don't know where he is!" You would have to provide legally appropriate documentation (only a local lawyer could tell you what that would be since it is state specific) that you have made a sincere effort to find him and then provide service by publication - which is only legally acceptable when done under court order.

Since all this I did some hunting and found out that 2 years ago he dropped off his son at his grandmas house and they haven't heard from him since, and his daughter hasn't seen in him in a year. Plus he hasn't paid child support for either of them ever. His criminal history with theft and drugs is as long as my arm. And FYI I didn't know Any of this when we started dating. When we met he was managing an electronic store under his brothers name, I was under the assumption that he was a college grad who had just gone through a messy divorce. You think I'd actually date/sleep with him had I known all this crap? Why do you think I'm so desprete about legal advice on what I can do?

So what do you suppose it says about you for sleeping with the guy before you really knew anything about him? Presumably you got pregnant during those four months you were apart from your current fiance. That's not really long enough to get to know a person you choose to father your child. That one falls square in your lap.

 

[Jamieandpiper]

terminating his rights would be the easy part, I'm not real worried about that. He has a warrant right now for failure to appear, which automatically violates and revokes his probation, so when he does get arrested he'll be in jail for the next ten years, however, everyone knows that he more than likely would not make it through one year in state prision (he's not a very big guy) so his family is hiding him, and I hear he might be going to mexico to evade all this. My question is Would he have to be present for the court dates.. could they still terminate rights if he didn't show up? I have plenty of people willing to testify to just how bad of a father, and how big of a con artist this guy is including his mother, his dauthers mother, and his son's grandmother and former employers. If it did end up in court it would be a pretty big massacre- he knows this- hence another reason he might not show.
If you think attacking my character is really going to bother me, it isn't. You don't know me, you know only a little of my situation, and I didn't come here for moral advice, i came here becasue I had some questions that are slowly being answered- though it does suck having to wade thru the critisizim. And as for choosing him to father my child- yeah.. right.. I didn't choose for him to father this baby, that was an accident. I've made mistakes, and I'll bet you have too. However, I am working on them and doing the best I can in the situation God has presented me. What gives you the right to be so damn judgemental?

 

[stealth2]

I didn't choose for him to father this baby, that was an accident. I've made mistakes, and I'll bet you have too. However, I am working on them and doing the best I can in the situation God has presented me. What gives you the right to be so damn judgemental?

You slept with him? That was a choice then and there. If you didn't think he was good enough to be a potential father, you should never have spread your legs for him, sweetheart. And simply being a lousy father may not be enough to terminate his rights. But you can go and research that yourself.

 

[AHA]

Debating on wether or not you can put your bf's name on the BC is irrelevant, since he has not adopted the child and as far as I know, can't be done until the baby is born and the biodad gives his permission. So the BC name discussion can be stopped right here and now since it's an impossibility.

And regardless of the biodad being a useless piece of lard, it doesn't change the fact that he is the biodad and your child has the RIGHT to know that and not be fooled for her entire life with someone else's name on her BC. She can end up resenting you severely if she finds out many years down the line. And just because the biodad's life right now is a mess and you don't think he would be a decent father to your joint child, that does not mean he will not improve and be a good dad later on.