how would this play out?

[Ohiogal]

I dont know BL. I have spoke to her and she said she made it clear, she "shared custody with her parents" maybe the DSS worker misunderstood, or maybe since they live together its like having physical custody too... I just dont know, I will update this wen an answer becomes available.

But she does NOT share custody with her parents. Through court order her parents have custody. SHE has nothing. Hence she lied.

 

[Banned_Princess]

Well, whatever the case is, I have advised her to take her court order with her to show the worker. make sure everybody is on the same page.

If the worker still feels the same way after that, then things will go forward.

She hasn't really ever visited the return of the custody from her parents in 6 years, maybe they feel differently at this juncture. I think the problem might just be the hassle of returning to court. I'm very close with my aunt, so maybe if I discuss this with my cousin and aunt, I can help get the family in the right possession to get child support from the father.

NY's minimum child support is only 25$ a month, and since dad is such a homeless looser, sorry excuse of what was once supposed to be a man, probably that is what will be ordered. biiiig help.

 

[stealth2]

Yeah, but... he's the sorry excuse homeless loser that your cousin chose to be the father of her child. Sorry, but the vitriol against him is rather off-putting, given that none of the parties involved apparently ever bothered to do anything to make him the child's legal father.

 

[Banned_Princess]

Yeah, but... he's the sorry excuse homeless loser that your cousin chose to be the father of her child. Sorry, but the vitriol against him is rather off-putting, given that none of the parties involved apparently ever bothered to do anything to make him the child's legal father.

They were teenagers, very young teenagers. they had not bothered for whatever reason they didnt, I dont know what, but everyone was young and clueless at the time. even my aunt and uncle wasnt sure what to do. my cousin is only 26 now, and the father is 6 months younger then her.

things were said, things were done, mistakes were made, everyone is more adult now, I dont think she would have done too much different. (maybe take back the drug episode, but as a teenager who hates herself, sometimes that happens.) she is lucky to have made it out alive.

She made (mostly) something of herself, and overcame a serious addiction to become the involved mother she is today, while dad just goes in and out of jail and homeless shelters. who even knows what his problem is. whatever it is, they never ever asked too much from him, and he never gave anything. at all.

whatever hes a jerk, and he will be sorry about it, when he finally wants to be in her life, and she will have nothing to do with him.

 

[Banned_Princess]

Plus, he never did anything to establish is paternity either, probably to keep from having to pay child support.

He knew when he came out of jail what had gone down while he was away, and he didnt care, he didnt care to see her, spend time with her, call her, find out how she was doing, get any pictures of her, tell his family about her, drop by with a present, I guess he never even liked my cousin at all in the first place.

teenagers are soooo dumb.

 

[stealth2]

whatever hes a jerk, and he will be sorry about it, when he finally wants to be in her life, and she will have nothing to do with him.

You have no way of knowing that. As "concerned" adults in her life, ALL of you should consider showing a bit more empathy when it comes to her father. 'Cause who know? Maybe when he gets his act together and they meet, she may find he's not the jerk-off loser you, her Mom and grandparents always said he is. Won't that be an interesting turn of events?

 

[Banned_Princess]

You have no way of knowing that. As "concerned" adults in her life, ALL of you should consider showing a bit more empathy when it comes to her father. 'Cause who know? Maybe when he gets his act together and they meet, she may find he's not the jerk-off loser you, her Mom and grandparents always said he is. Won't that be an interesting turn of events?

True, plus they never say anything like that around the kiddo. she drew her own conclusion when her dad promiced her he would call, and never ever did. my cousin tells her he is sick, and he would be around if he could, but right now she doesnt need to worry about that, because she has a big family that loves her, some children have no one. Shes very diplomatic.

I think its just my cousin who voices that oppinion to me, my aunt has never really said anything about him. I also drew my own conclusion.

I get that he is probably suffering in the streets, and my cousin knows just how that feels, but being sick on drugs does not stop someone from picking up a phone, hell he probably does it 100 times a day to call his dealer. It just hurts her that he hurts her daughter. thats all.

 

[Banned_Princess]

Thank you for your input all. I have conveyed the general consensus that she needs to make super sure the case worker is VERY clear with the court order, and I have also told her about the 25 dollar child support she is likely to be ordered, I don't think she thinks thats worth it. the guy hates her enough, no need to rock the boat.

Happy Monday!

 

[milspecgirl]

I used to be a food benefits worker- whether she has custody of the child is nothing. Everyone in the home who purchases and prepares meals together is legally required to be listed on the application. Therefore, unless she is purchasing all her food separately from her parents and preparing her own meals, her mom and dad as well as the child have to be listed on the application. A household for federal food benefits is determined ONLY by the people who live together, purchase food together, and prepare meals together. There does not have to be any relation at all.

Now, if she is purchasing and preparing food separately from her parents (but that's not how your post reads) then she would be eligible alone. If she is providing food and meals for her and the child (and no one else), they would be considered a household, regardless of custody.

I suspect though that she is committing food benefits fraud since I am assuming that she just contributes money to the family groceries and they all eat out of the same food, meals together, etc. This means that her parents income has to be considered and they have to be listed on the application.

 

[Banned_Princess]

I used to be a food benefits worker- whether she has custody of the child is nothing. Everyone in the home who purchases and prepares meals together is legally required to be listed on the application. Therefore, unless she is purchasing all her food separately from her parents and preparing her own meals, her mom and dad as well as the child have to be listed on the application. A household for federal food benefits is determined ONLY by the people who live together, purchase food together, and prepare meals together. There does not have to be any relation at all.

Now, if she is purchasing and preparing food separately from her parents (but that's not how your post reads) then she would be eligible alone. If she is providing food and meals for her and the child (and no one else), they would be considered a household, regardless of custody.

I suspect though that she is committing food benefits fraud since I am assuming that she just contributes money to the family groceries and they all eat out of the same food, meals together, etc. This means that her parents income has to be considered and they have to be listed on the application.

No, when she had an income, she food shopped alone (separately) , she bought foods for the family dinners, her daughters snacks, her daughters school lunches, her daughters milk (the kid drinks organic, blech) juices, breakfast, and food for herself, everything except the family food she purchased is kept in her own fridge in the basement type apartment she lives in with her daughter, in the house her parents own, that is also occupied by her brother and sister as well as both parents. (by basement type apartment I mean it has 2 bedrooms, a bathroom and a laundry room with her fridge and cabinets and microwave.) she cooked whatever needs to be cooked upstairs. the diners she cooks, no matter who bought the food for it, was for everyone.

they are all listed as household members on the application. no fraud at all. thanks though.

 

[milspecgirl]

okay- they were all listed so it is perfectly legal. She can claim food benefits for the child if she is responsible for her meals, regardless of custody.

I am a little concerned though that she applied for more than food benefits. Food benefits do not require child support to be instigated. They are the only benefit that does not. We are not even allowed to ask about opening a child support case if it is just food benefits. medical, cash assistance, etc- yes. But if it is only food benefits, the only time child support is even mentioned is in the income section (to determine if it is household income or not)

So, I am confused as to why a food benefits worker would try to open a child support case. food benefits are not repayable to the state by the ncp like other benefits are.

 

[BL]

okay- they were all listed so it is perfectly legal. She can claim food benefits for the child if she is responsible for her meals, regardless of custody.

I am a little concerned though that she applied for more than food benefits. Food benefits do not require child support to be instigated. They are the only benefit that does not. We are not even allowed to ask about opening a child support case if it is just food benefits. medical, cash assistance, etc- yes. But if it is only food benefits, the only time child support is even mentioned is in the income section (to determine if it is household income or not)

So, I am confused as to why a food benefits worker would try to open a child support case. food benefits are not repayable to the state by the ncp like other benefits are.

In the very first post it was said she applied for "services" as she lost her job.

 

[Banned_Princess]

Yes, well since the child is already covered medically, it must have been the cash benefit the worker checked off for her.

she is going to try to get her workers attention for 5 minutes with her custody papers. That should straighten everything out.

My cousin really needs the medical coverage though, she has had no coverage in 5 years, so its about time for her bi decade checkup. lol

 

[stealth2]

the diners she cooks, no matter who bought the food for it, was for everyone.

I hope she doesn't cook the diners who bought the food. That would suck. Buy food? Become dinner.