humm...

[Isiah]

What is the name of your state? MN
Hello my husband gained custody of his son last December. In the custody order, it didn't sate on who had to do the driving of their child. For the last year my husband has been doing the driving. His ex has been verbally abusive towards their son, my husband and me pretty much this whole last year. Example being.. telling my husband when he can drop their son off, telling my husband how long their son can stay(mind you we do have a reasonable parenting time schedule), the ex yells at their son on the phone if she doesn't get her way. Their son has to tell her to calm down. He is 13. Well over the last couple weeks my husband doesn't want to do anymore of the driving. He has made it clear to his ex that he is sick of the abuse towards everyone in our household especially towards their son. He said that visitation could go on but she would have to do the picking up and dropping off of their son. She is threatening and saying that if he doesn't do all the driving
that that is denying her visitation. Is that true?? She doesn't have car ,but we live right off the bus line. I have heard in that in Mn that the non custodial parent generally does all the picking up and dropping off. My husband has full physical and legal custody.


I was also kinda wondering about supervised visitation. Does anyone think we could get it?
She is verbally abuse and I think she may have some mental health issues. I believe my step son is frightened by her rage and anger.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state? MN
Hello my husband gained custody of his son last december. In the custody order, it didn't sate on who had to do the driving of their child. For the last year my husband has been doing the driving. His ex has been verbally abusive towards me their son, my husband and me pretty much this whole last year. Example being.. telling my husband when he can drop their son off, telling my husband how long their son can stay(mind you we do have a reasonable parenting time schedule), the ex yells at their son on the phone if she doesn't get her way. Their son has to tell her to calm down. He is 13. Well over the last couple weeks my husband doesn't want to do anymore of the driving. He has made it clear to his ex that he is sick of the abuse towards everyone in our household especially towards their son. He said that visitation could go on but she would have to do the picking up and dropping off of their son. She is threatening and saying that if he doesn't do all the driving
that that is denying her visitation. Is that true??

Tell (or better have hubby tell) the bitch to shut the hell up.

She doesn't have car ,but we live right off the bus line.

Not your problem. She can walk.

I have heard in that in Mn that the non custodial parent gnerally does all the picking up and dropping off. My husband has full physical and legal custody.

you heard custom, NOT law.

I was also kinda wondering about supervised visitation. Does anyone think we could get it?

no

She is verbally abuse and I think she may have some mental health issues. I believe my step son is frightened by her rage and anger.

still no.

 

[Isiah]

thank you.

I just wanted to be sure that my husband wouldn't get in trouble for not driving.

 

[LdiJ]

I just wanted to be sure that my husband wouldn't get in trouble for not driving.

Without having a copy of your husband's court orders to read, and without having the guidelines for your state to read, no one can tell you with any certainty that your husband can't get into any trouble for refusing to provide transportation.

In general, its not the responsibility of the ncp to provide all transportation. In general its normally required that they share transportation. The most common arrangement is that the ncp picks up at the start of visitation and the cp picks up at the end.

The best way to ensure that your husband has no problems is to take all of the paperwork regarding the case to a local attorney for an opinion.

 

[nextwife]

Without having a copy of your husband's court orders to read, and without having the guidelines for your state to read, no one can tell you with any certainty that your husband can't get into any trouble for refusing to provide transportation.

In general, its not the responsibility of the ncp to provide all transportation. In general its normally required that they share transportation. The most common arrangement is that the ncp picks up at the start of visitation and the cp picks up at the end.

The best way to ensure that your husband has no problems is to take all of the paperwork regarding the case to a local attorney for an opinion.

Unless there is a court order REQUIRING the CP to provide transportation, the CP can leave it to the NCP to do pick up from them and they then do pick up at the end of visitation from the NCP.

 

[Isiah]

ok...

really..we have honestly...tried to you do one way and we will do another.It does not work.Come Sunday 15 minutes before their child is to be dropped off,(or vise versa) the ex cannot seem to do her share. THERE IS NO ORDER STATING THE DRIVING OF VISITATION. Actually, on it states that the drop off/pick up be at a gas station in between. Should we go back to that ? That way, we would be holding up a court order?

oh, also he has brought it to an attorney.The attorney said it is custom that the ncp to do the D/o P/u.

 

[nextwife]

really..we have honestly...tried to you do one way and we will do another.It does not work.Come Sunday 15 minutes before their child is to be dropped off,(or vise versa) the ex cannot seem to do her share. THERE IS NO ORDER STATING THE DRIVING OF VISITATION. Actually, on it states that the drop off/pick up be at a gas station in between. Should we go back to that ? That way, we would be holding up a court order?

Have ex do pick up from CP and CP pick up from NCP for return. If ex fails to fetch kiddo, there will be no return to worry about. That is IF there is no CO language requiring CP to do all the driving.

 

[LdiJ]

really..we have honestly...tried to you do one way and we will do another.It does not work.Come Sunday 15 minutes before their child is to be dropped off,(or vise versa) the ex cannot seem to do her share. THERE IS NO ORDER STATING THE DRIVING OF VISITATION. Actually, on it states that the drop off/pick up be at a gas station in between. Should we go back to that ? That way, we would be holding up a court order?

oh, also he has brought it to an attorney.The attorney said it is custom that the ncp to do the D/o P/u.

If the order states that the exchange is to take place at a gas station in between then there IS an order regarding transporation. Its supposed to be shared. Therefore each of them can be held in contempt for not sticking to exchanging the child at the gas station.

 

[nextwife]

If the order states that the exchange is to take place at a gas station in between then there IS an order regarding transporation. Its supposed to be shared. Therefore each of them can be held in contempt for not sticking to exchanging the child at the gas station.

I missed that. I saw the bolded "THERE IS NO ORDER STATING THE DRIVING OF VISITATION." and took that to mean there is NO order regarding driving for visitation. If CP goes to exchange point, waits a half hour and documents that ex didn't show, he is NOT required to continue on to ex's house IF there truly is a CO stating an exchange point and time.

 

[ceara19]

Personally, I would rather just drive the child myself rather then have them take a bus back and forth.

 

[Isiah]

yes..

In a previous order it was suppose to take place at a gas station. But, like I said in the new order(DEC 5, 2005) it doesn't have any language about dropping and picking up of minor child. It also does not state about where it is suppose to take place. I am just giving you the info I have. I am just as confused as you are. You have to understand how frustrating it is to deal with an irrational ex. If you told her the sky was blue, she would argue it was purple just so she could. I don't know what to do. please...I am sorry if I seem angry. I also looked back at my last post and I wasn't clear about how the previous order had stated about the gas staion. Sorry.

 

[Ohiogal]

In a previous order it was suppose to take place at a gas station. But, like I said in the new order(DEC 5, 2005) it doesn't have any language about dropping and picking up of minor child. It also does not state about where it is suppose to take place. I am just giving you the info I have. I am just as confused as you are. You have to understand how frustrating it is to deal with an irrational ex. If you told her the sky was blue, she would argue it was purple just so she could. I don't know what to do. please...I am sorry if I seem angry.

Normally anything not covered in subsequent orders refers back to the most recent prior order. Hence, transportation is supposed to be with both parties sharing it and meeting at the gas station. hence mom better get to the gas station.

 

[LdiJ]

In a previous order it was suppose to take place at a gas station. But, like I said in the new order(DEC 5, 2005) it doesn't have any language about dropping and picking up of minor child. It also does not state about where it is suppose to take place. I am just giving you the info I have. I am just as confused as you are. You have to understand how frustrating it is to deal with an irrational ex. If you told her the sky was blue, she would argue it was purple just so she could. I don't know what to do. please...I am sorry if I seem angry.

New orders often address only specific issues, and the provisions that the new orders don't address often remain in force under the old orders.

Therefore, its quite possible that the gas station exchange point still remains the legal order regarding transportation and exchange.

Your husband's attorney would be the best person to answer that question. If he doesn't have one, then he may want to consult with one.

I personally would also drive my child rather than putting him through a bus ride. If it went to court, since mom doesn't have a car its possible that your husband would be ordered to provide the transportation.

 

[ceara19]

How far of a distance are we talking about? Does mom live across town, the next county, 2 states over? Part of being the custodial parent is taking on the responsibility of facilitating a relationship between the child and the other parent to the best of you abilities. If mom lives 6 blocks over, your husband is just being petty.

 

[Isiah]

petty?

I'm unsure about being petty. She lives the next city over. What even led to all this was the fact, she would dictate when their son would come, when he could be picked up, andwhere he could be picked up. Every other week she would want him dropped off where ever she was at. I am assuming she gets to get wherever she needs to go, why can't she try to come and p/u or d/o their child once in awhile.