I can't believe it!-Please help!

[pooky23]

What is the name of your state?Indiana
I am a stay @ home mother of 5.I am married.I don't drink or do drugs,(hubby doesn't either),My hubby works full time to support us all,sometimes a 2nd job also.Neither one of us have a criminal record or background.
*There is a reason why I am writing all of this info.*...
I recently went to court over my oldest child,who is 6 yrs. old,I have or should I say had full custody of.My ex husband took me to court for full custody.He represented himself,(no lawyer),he had no proof,witnesses or evidence that I was a bad mother.Also,C.A.S.A was even brought into this,and in her report she said that she found nothing wrong w/ our household or children.Well,my ex ended up getting full custody! I think that this is outrageous!I can't believe it! We are all devestated!
I just don't know what I should do?What should I think?What are my next steps?
Thanx In Advance

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?Indiana
I am a stay @ home mother of 5.I am married.I don't drink or do drugs,(hubby doesn't either),My hubby works full time to support us all,sometimes a 2nd job also.Neither one of us have a criminal record or background.
*There is a reason why I am writing all of this info.*...
I recently went to court over my oldest child,who is 6 yrs. old,I have or should I say had full custody of.My ex husband took me to court for full custody.He represented himself,(no lawyer),he had no proof,witnesses or evidence that I was a bad mother.Also,C.A.S.A was even brought into this,and in her report she said that she found nothing wrong w/ our household or children.Well,my ex ended up getting full custody! I think that this is outrageous!I can't believe it! We are all devestated!
I just don't know what I should do?What should I think?What are my next steps?
Thanx In Advance

That seems almost impossible in Indiana. Judges in Indiana almost NEVER give full custody to EITHER parent, and rarely change the status quo without a signficant change in circumstances. This one may be something that should be appealed.

 

[Kevmar44]

Do you have any other children by your ex? Did you have an attorney? What were the judges reasons for granting your ex full custody? You need to find an attorney quickly!

 

[Smarty Panties]

There has GOT to be more to the story. As LdiJ said, this does NOT happen in Indiana. What county is this? Were you denying visitation or interfering in the parent/child relationship? Have you been held in contempt before? If so how many times? And I'm just asking because we need to know so don't think I'm assuming but, this just doesn't make sense.

 

[nextwife]

I agree. No way that out of the blue, with no history of any sort of problem, with no history of contempt, PAS, denied visitation, etc. would a judge not only CHANGE custody, but give him SOLE. PLease let us know of ANYTHING that may have been left out. There just has to be more to this.

 

[pooky23]

well,I guess...

Indiana-The ONLY thing out of what you listed is my ex has taken me to court claiming that I refused visitation.That was NOT TRUE at all,anytime that he didn't get the child was when he didn't call or show up,but he took me to court over it,and won-all in all I have been charged w/ contempt 2 or 3 times.Which also just blows my mind! It is totally not true,he had no proof to even back up his lies,and I had no proof to back up my innocense.-The judge decided to believe my ex though EVERYTIME!
To answer your other statement-no there is NOTHING else to this...
Thank-You for your reply

 

[pooky23]

This is crazy!

To answer one of the posters-This is taking place here in North Vernon,Indiana...more specifically-the Vernon Courthouse...The judge is Judge James Funke.I do have a lawyer,and they won't/haven't notified her or me as to why my ex was given full custody! No papers telling us why or anything.No reason is being given! This is outrageous!!!
I only have 1 child w/ him by the way.
Thank-You all for all of your replies so far...

 

[Smarty Panties]

Are you saying you didn't go to the hearing?

 

[pooky23]

misunderstood me-sorry

I went to the hearing! Any hearing I of coarse went w/ a lawyer always by my side.

 

[CMSC]

To answer one of the posters-This is taking place here in North Vernon,Indiana...more specifically-the Vernon Courthouse...The judge is Judge James Funke.I do have a lawyer,and they won't/haven't notified her or me as to why my ex was given full custody! No papers telling us why or anything.No reason is being given! This is outrageous!!!
I only have 1 child w/ him by the way.
Thank-You all for all of your replies so far...

If you went to court, what did the judge say? You said they haven't notified your or the lawyer as to why the ex was given custody but yet you say you were taken to court because you "allegedly" denied visits. That could be WHY you lost custody, if the judge believed you were denying visitation. Some reason had to have been given during the hearing.

 

[pooky23]

If you went to court, what did the judge say? You said they haven't notified your or the lawyer as to why the ex was given custody but yet you say you were taken to court because you "allegedly" denied visits. That could be WHY you lost custody, if the judge believed you were denying visitation. Some reason had to have been given during the hearing.

*The judge said that he wanted to talk to my 6 yr. old daughter-then he would make his decision.We weren't there that day to talk about the alleged missing of visits,I said that we had been there before over it-all lies-him no proof anyway-and when he didn't get her was when HE didn't show up or call,and here's one also he even mentions times where he DID get her,but he STILL took me to court,and said that he didn't.Either way the judge believed him eveytime!
Also,I keep mentioning the fact that my lawyer,and I haven't been notified about why the judge gave my ex full custody,because we don't know!There hasn't been a reason given,even to say it is because of the contempts.

 

[tigger2two]

just recently going through custody myself. Judges don't just sit there and say ok Im giving custody to the father and then get up and leave the court room. He had to tell you why or give some clue when you were in court.

Give us the whole truth and we will give you our best shot at advice!! Don't leave anything out.

 

[Smarty Panties]

You're better off listening to the advice of your lawyer than listening to us but it sounds to me as if the contempts had a part in it and whatever your daughter said in chambers.... He actually talked to a 6 year old child??

As far as him having no proof of denied visitation, the burden of proof fell on you to prove otherwise because he was the petitioner. 3 contempt of court charges for denied visitation is NOT good. Why do you say "the only time he didn't get her was when he didn't show up or call"? Why was he suppose to call first?

 

[sweet_honesty]

When he didn't show up or call = he stood the child up completely.
Appeal and quickly..... and yes I agree, it could have something to do with something the child said to the judge.
good luck in your case.....

 

[tigger22472]

That seems almost impossible in Indiana. Judges in Indiana almost NEVER give full custody to EITHER parent, and rarely change the status quo without a signficant change in circumstances. This one may be something that should be appealed.

I must be in the minority then because I never asked for but received SOLE LEGAL custody of both my boys in my divorce. Of course that was when I was stupid and didn't know what all the legal jargon meant.

The problem here lies in the contempt charges and what the child said. Please don't go drill your child the next time she's in your home..there's nothing more wrong with that. Not only is it wrong to drill the child but don't expect to hear the truth because she will tell you what you want to hear right after she tries the "I don't remember". You will do nothing but hurt your relationship with your child. Again though it lies in those contempt charges and as it was stated it was left up to you to prove that he didn't show up and made no contact. Judges just don't uproot children from their homes without reason. Maybe your ex was lying .. but without you having proof of that the judge has has decide which one to choose.

With that said... I know where North Vernon is and in that hick town (I can say that.. I live in one too) you have to ask yourself, who does he know, besides probably everyone. Does he have friends in high places?