I disagree with judge's decision

[Josh124]

What is the name of your state? Ohio
I recently took the mother of my child to court for custody. My son was abused sexually by a babysitter which my son's mother admited in court was known to her as a child molester. She says that she realizes that it was a mistake and it will never happen again. The court accepted her appology and allowed her to continue to have custody. Can a mother really leave a child with someone she knows has molested in the past, and still keep custody after that child's been abused? I'm waiting for a objection to this decision that has been filed to come through later this month, although I wonder if it will do any good. The courts here have majorly let me down with this decision.

 

[hexeliebe]

Welcome to the world of legallease....

Yes, the court can do just about anything it wants...even if the judge knows he will be overturned on appeal. That's up to you to appeal, to pay the costs associated with such an appeal and to prove the judge erred.

Just because you disagree with the Judge's decision isn't going to be enough to overturn this decision. Unless you can point to an error of law or process the appellate courts are very reluctant to overturn lower courts.

Yes, it's a bad idea for any parent to leave their children with someone who is a known child molester. And I would probably feel the same as you. But, unless you showed the court that the mother is unfit (and one bad decision doesn't make her, or you for that matter and unfit parent) the child is going to stay with the custodial parent.

Now, as a father of two small girls who sees them about three months a year, here's my question to you. What are you doing to help this mother become a better parent and to learn how to exercise better judgement?

 

[Josh124]

One bad decision dosen't make her unfit? It wasn't like she sent him to school without a jacket on, she sent him to a home of a child molestor!!! A child molestor who caused my son to have to recieve therapy, and a child molestor who has caused my son to be afraid of his own shadow. And most importantly she was aware of this person being a molestor, and she sent him on to his house anyway. When will a judge make a rational decision without expecting us to file an appeal? If my son is proven to have been molested again, could the judge be held responsible? Because he'd be second on my list of persons to blame, right under the mother. As far as what am I doing to make her a better mother, I feel that it would be a slap in my face for someone to put the responsibility of her parenting on me. Either she a good parent without me or she's not a good parent period. To asume that I could raise both my son and his mom is abscurd. She's a big girl, older than me infact. If she needs help raising our son, the kind of help that tells her "Don't leave child with molestor." Then maybe she needs to get out of the parenting buisiness alltogether.

 

[hexeliebe]

grow up. all I get from your posting is ranting like a spoiled child. Yes, the mother made a terrible mistake and yes, you have the right to appeal. But as I said, unless you can prove the judge made a reversable error you're going to be out of luck.

As for raising the mother, that's not what I said. I suggested that you take a look at your own situation and see if you are not part of the problem or part of the solution. Your child is not a possession. It's a living breathing human being.

From what I've been reading it's a wonder your child is not afraid of you. Yes, the mother made a terrible mistake, one she should have known better not to make. But in this forum we only get one side of the story (whether or not you like that it's a fact) and have to judge the validity of the poster based on how they act and react.

Judging from that I'd be more inclined to have the child be with someone who has made a mistake and has learned from it than someone who rants and raves like a two-year old without any thought about how they affect those around him.

 

[Bre's_mom]

Welcome to the world of legallease....


Yes, it's a bad idea for any parent to leave their children with someone who is a known child molester. And I would probably feel the same as you. But, unless you showed the court that the mother is unfit (and one bad decision doesn't make her, or you for that matter and unfit parent) the child is going to stay with the custodial parent.

Oh my god!! I DISAGREE with you HEX, You say you would PROBABLY feel the same way, PROBABLY...How would you not feel the same way if the BM of your children did that.. Are you crazy, from what the poster is saying, if the BM admitted it in court that she knew she was leaving their child with a child molester, and then the child gets molested!!! I think, that ONE MISTAKE is enough to make me say she does not need to have custody of their child. She should have supervised visitation with that child!!! No parent that LOVES their child would leave their child with a known child molester!!! The poster does not need to grow up, look at what happen to his child!! You need to re think what you posted, you almost sound as bad as the Bm. And how is the poster an unfit parent? Fire back if you will but I don't think that anything you say will change the way I feel about your comments!!!

 

[Bre's_mom]

Judging from that I'd be more inclined to have the child be with someone who has made a mistake and has learned from it than someone who rants and raves like a two-year old without any thought about how they affect those around him.

Oh, i forgot about this part of you post. You say that judging from his reaction, you think that the child is better off with someone who made a mistake and has learned from it, then someone who rants and raves like a 2 year old... without a thought about how they affect those around him..
You must be really crazy to say something as stupid as that. Its not that she made a small mistake, like forgetting to send his backpack to school, she knew that she was sending her child to a child molesters home, and she sent him, and WHAT HAPPENS?? The child got molested!!! I would be ranting and raving, and probably be in jail for what I would do to the child molester and the BM. You need to grow up!!!

 

[stealth2]

A question... How long after the incident did you find out, how long until the court hearing, and did you call CPS? (edit - and if you called CPS, when and what was the result of the investigation? If you didn't - why not?)

(hexeliebe is correct that simply disagreeing with the decision isn't going to win you an appeal - you have to be able to show that the judge made an error in law or process.)

 

[mamadi]

Hey Hexeliebe I've got to say this may be the first time I've disagreed with you ! Yeah, she made a mistake but my God how do you leave your child with someone you KNOW is a child molester ? That's not a mistake when you know what your doing is wrong. That's a terrible decision.

And Josh I'd like to know your responses to momma_tiger's questions.

How often do you see the child ? How old is your son ?
When are you suppose to be going back to court for an appeal ?

 

[Tercr6]

I just can't help myself from posting:
I would have to do something drastic ,If my child's BM,knew and let,the child be molested.
Why on this earth if she Knew this was going on, was she not JAILED ?
And on the subject of JAIL,where is the child molester NOW? I hope not legally ALLOWED to come within coast to coast distance of this child.
I don't care HOW LONG AGO this happened.Child molesters can be charged YEARS after the FACT and go to JAIL,along with THE UNFIT ACCOMPLICE ( the BM).
Please ? THE BM mother appoligized and promised.NO PUNISHMENT FOR ALLOWING IT,and she get's TO RAISE THE CHILD.
I HOPE FOR THIS CHILD, IT NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN !! AND I'D CONTACT THE JUDICIAL MISCONDUCT COMMITTY ( or the term in your State),and make a complaint about the JUDGES conduct!!
I hope the POSTER WINS ON APPEAL !!

 

[stealth2]

I may as well give the reasons for my questions. If Josh knew of the molestation (and since the child is in therapy, it seems that he did sometime between when it happened and this hearing), the question is going to arise - what did he do about it. Did he call CPS? Did he call the police? Did he file for an emergency custody hearing? What LEGAL action did he take at the time?

If ALL or SOME of those happened, I'm at a loss to explain what the judge was thinking. But it doesn't necessarily make it an error in law or procedure.

If NONE of those occurred, the judge may have made the determination that Josh wasn't all that concerned *either*, despite his current anger, and the filing for custody was simply a way to get back at the ex. It's impossible to tell without more information.

 

[Tercr6]

I agree momma tiger.If all the action the father did was to file Custody Petition "IF", then i would say both Parents failed in their actions to protect the child.
I hope, the original poster clears this up for us ( and facts aren't neither did anything legally( to protect the child ). AS you see the courts look at "the best interest of the child".
With the molester gone,( i hope),and the promise to not let it happen again,is a slap on the wrist, for Both BM & Molester.

 

[chris_s_14591]

only guys go to jail for these type pf things......women are gods......the term is"indangering the welfare of a child" if you have done something wrong why hasn't "your" i'm sorry worked

 

[stealth2]

"indangering the welfare of a child"

Actually, it's "Endangering the welfare of a child". And the law is more unbiased than you seem to think. Let's stay away from the stereotypes, shall we?

 

[chris_s_14591]

ok ,,, sorry,, but the fact is that he is there for custody and his "i'm sorry" means nothing

 

[stealth2]

ok ,,, sorry,, but the fact is that he is there for custody and his "i'm sorry" means nothing

What are you talking about? You have two he's in there. Honestly - try to be a bit clearer in your posts - it's why you're not getting the answers you're looking for. It takes to freakin' long to try and decipher what you're saying.