I have a couple questions

[Feeny511]

What is the name of your state? MA.
I am going to court at the end of this month for visitation/ custody of my almost 3 year old. The father has not seen him in over a year and a half. I had a restrining order on him which ended in november. The father and I have been completly over for about 2 years. He has not paid any child support or has made no attempt to be a father. I have the worst judge on earth. I have talked to many ohter people who had her and court personel who said she always favors the father.
What I would like is to have him never see the child again. Which I know will not happen. I am asking for supervised visits. That is the only thing I will settle for. My son does not know him at all. If the was in a room with a few kids around my sons age he wouldnt be able to point him out. The point is, is that they are strangers to each other. Now my question is, if the judge gives the father visitation unsupervised, could I appeal that? If so how would I go about that? While it was being appealed would I have to follow the judges orders or could I wait till after the appeal?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

What is the name of your state? MA.
I am going to court at the end of this month for visitation/ custody of my almost 3 year old. The father has not seen him in over a year and a half. I had a restrining order on him which ended in november. The father have been completly over for about 2 years. He has not paid any child support. I have the worst judge on earth. I have talked to many ohter people who had her and court personel who said she always favors the father.
What I would like is to have him never see the child again. Which I know will not happen. I am asking for supervised visits. That is the only thing I will settle for.This is not your decision.

My son does not know him at all. If the was in aroom with afew kids around my sons age he wouldnt be able to point him out. The point is, is that they are strangers to each other. Now my question is, if the judge gives the father visitation unsupervised, could I appeal that? The only way is to bring forth evidence that has not already been heard..I


f so How would I go about that? While it was being appealed would I have to follow the judges orders or could I wait till after the appeal?

You need to follow the judges orders.

 

[haiku]

you may or may not get the supervised you are asking for.

in any case due to the age of the child, and the fact that there was such a long break between visits, it may be reasonable to say, he will likely be awarded frequent visits of short duration first before being awarded the standard overnight weekend visits.

You both likely will have to attend parenting classes if you have not been ordered to go before. these will also help ease your mind a bit.

The time to 'object: to an order is BEFORE it is signed by the judge, you will both try to work out an agreement in mediation before it is left up to a judge to decide. understand that you may have to settle for les than supervised visits. Usually to get supervised visits, you must have SOLID proof of endangerment ot the child, just because he has not exersized his right ot visitation before, does not really mean he needs to be supervised, it just may mean he needs an easing in period. Also you may have no idea what he really wants until you get to the mediation table.

once the judge signs an order you must follow it, or you will find yourself in contempt, and eventually that could jeoprodize your future custody arrangements.

 

[Feeny511]

some more info

The father has been arrested for assaulting me. and he is currently on probation for threatening me. He called me the other day for the first time in a 11/2 years to ask me if i still wanted him to have nothing to do with the baby. I said yes. From what he said it sounded like he was going to drop everything. Two days ago I got an offer from his lawyer to start visits on march 5 , which I refused.
Thank you for all the help and advice.

 

[haiku]

The father has been arrested for assaulting me. and he is currently on probation for threatening me. He called me the other day for the first time in a 11/2 years to ask me if i still wanted him to have nothing to do with the baby. I said yes. From what he said it sounded like he was going to drop everything. Two days ago I got an offer from his lawyer to start visits on march 5 , which I refused.
Thank you for all the help and advice.

Be aware though, as you go through this process that his crimes against YOU, may have no bearing on his right to visitation and custody.

good luck to you.

 

[VeronicaGia]

The father has been arrested for assaulting me. and he is currently on probation for threatening me. He called me the other day for the first time in a 11/2 years to ask me if i still wanted him to have nothing to do with the baby. I said yes. From what he said it sounded like he was going to drop everything. Two days ago I got an offer from his lawyer to start visits on march 5 , which I refused.
Thank you for all the help and advice.

And the letter from his attorney makes it look like he's trying to cooperate with you in the best interests of the child. Your refusal makes it look like you refuse to cooperate.

 

[Feeny511]

More info

It was not a letter it was a phone conversation. I wish it was a letter because then I would have proof of what he said. He was telling me that he dosnt want to come in between anything me and the baby have going right now. He said I am not a father, father is just a title I am just a sperm donor I have done nothing for the baby. He said would if something happens down the road that prevents me from seeing him, along with a lot of other stuff. It just sounded to me that he was going to drop everything so of course I cooperated with him on the phone. His offer that he sent to my lawyer though was something that was just impossible for me to do to my son.
One more thing I dont know if it matters but he has been arrested for assault several other times along with assault and battery on a police officer he was in jail for selling drugs with his father. When we were together he was going to colloge and trying to make a future for himself but that fell apart very soon after we got serious with each other. I just dont want anybody to get the wrong idea of me. I have a good head on my shoulders. And my son is my life and I only want the best for him.

 

[nagol818]

I'm learning on here that a NCP's integrity towards a child doesn't have to be very important but it's everything for a CP to have good integrity...as far as the judges are concerned.