I need Clarification ASAP!!!

[shannon_myers]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri
Okay Here is my question.
I am currently going through a divorce. It has not been finalized yet I haven't even had my first hearing yet. I am representing my self Pro Se. I cannot afford an Attorney. okay now that that is out of the way..
My question is this, My son of 4 yrs of age was born in CA. back in 07. Myself, my daughter and my son moved to MO. in 0ct of 2010. After 6 months I field for divorce in MO. My husband lives in UT, but has an Attorney form MO. to represent him. Now he is trying to get a Paternity test for both of our children, which I am not being objective to having my daughter getting one done because he has his rights to know whether she is his or not, but My son was adopted by him in court during a custody and visitation fight with his biological Father who at the very end of it all for-fitted his rights to my son, and my Soon to be Ex husband was offed the opportunity to Adopt him right there on the spot by the judge. Once My Husband accepted the responsibility the judge made it an order. Now I have filed the order from that previous case in the MO. court for this case to show that he is My son's natural Father by law. Doesn't the State of MO. have to recognize this order and enforce it??? Please give me some insight because I feel like I have to file something to protect my son from having this test done on him when I know what the outcome will be of the test. which will be NEG. for paternity. All I want to accomplish in this matter is getting my divorce, getting back my last name and getting what is in my children's best interests.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[LillianX]

If your husband legally adopted your son, he is his son, and the court will absolutely treat him as such.

 

[shannon_myers]

.....

Okay thank you so much for your time I just wanted to be sure I thought that's how it worked I just need to be 100% positive in all of this I take anything that has to do with my children very seriously. You know what I mean...

Thank you again so much for your time.

 

[RRevak]

Please keep us updated on the outcome of this. It would be a good post to keep handy to show potential outcomes for all the ones who wish to eliminate fathers and replace then with husbands du jour.

 

[Zigner]

...My son was adopted by him in court during a custody and visitation fight with his biological Father who at the very end of it all for-fitted his rights to my son, and my Soon to be Ex husband was offed the opportunity to Adopt him right there on the spot by the judge. Once My Husband accepted the responsibility the judge made it an order. Now I have filed the order from that previous case in the MO. court for this case to show that he is My son's natural Father by law.

This doesn't make any sense. An adoption would not occur as the direct and immediate result of a custody/visitation case. It just doesn't work that way.

Had you filed any paperwork to begin adoption proceedings prior to the point that you believe the judge just suddenly told your STBX that he was now daddy?

 

[shannon_myers]

Whoa!!!!

First off I am not trying to get rid of fathers or replace them at all by any means, all I am trying to achieve by asking this question is simply this if you say your going to be a father to a child then do right by your child. Don't step up to the plate and adopt a child that was not your's if your not going to support that child. Period end of sentence. I loved my husband but his responsibilities became evident to me that they were to himself and not to his family first. All I want is for him to do what is right by his children. I could care less about myself in this matter like I said I don't want anything to do with him but I would never keep him from his children EVER!!! They need their Dad to be their Dad not a Man who wants all the glory of being a Daddy without any of the effort it takes to be one. There is a saying out there that goes something like this "Anyone can father a child but it takes someone special to be a Daddy."

 

[Silverplum]

First off I am not trying to get rid of fathers or replace them at all by any means, all I am trying to achieve by asking this question is simply this if you say your going to be a father to a child then do right by your child. Don't step up to the plate and adopt a child that was not your's if your not going to support that child. Period end of sentence. I loved my husband but his responsibilities became evident to me that they were to himself and not to his family first. All I want is for him to do what is right by his children. I could care less about myself in this matter like I said I don't want anything to do with him but I would never keep him from his children EVER!!! They need their Dad to be their Dad not a Man who wants all the glory of being a Daddy without any of the effort it takes to be one. There is a saying out there that goes something like this "Anyone can father a child but it takes someone special to be a Daddy."

That saying has nothing to do with what is LEGAL. And where are we? Yes, we are on a LEGAL board.

 

[LillianX]

First off I am not trying to get rid of fathers or replace them at all by any means, all I am trying to achieve by asking this question is simply this if you say your going to be a father to a child then do right by your child. Don't step up to the plate and adopt a child that was not your's if your not going to support that child. Period end of sentence. I loved my husband but his responsibilities became evident to me that they were to himself and not to his family first. All I want is for him to do what is right by his children. I could care less about myself in this matter like I said I don't want anything to do with him but I would never keep him from his children EVER!!! They need their Dad to be their Dad not a Man who wants all the glory of being a Daddy without any of the effort it takes to be one. There is a saying out there that goes something like this "Anyone can father a child but it takes someone special to be a Daddy."

Don't take it personally. RRevak was merely making a note of the fact that there are a TON of women who come here asking how to have their new husband/boyfriend/bedwarmer adopt their child, and that it's nice to have a post to show them now about some of the consequences of doing that.

Your situation isn't making a ton of sense. Can you please explain what happened in more detail? Were adoption papers signed? Who instigated it? Was there a hearing? How are you certain that your husband is the legal father?

 

[shannon_myers]

@ Zigner

Okay I can see your confusion with this...
When I was 6 mo. pregnant I met my husband My son was born before we got married in California where we were also married. My son's Bio dad opted to stay out of my sons life at the time and wanted nothing to do with him what so ever so much that he told me to put my now husbands name on the birth certificate so I did a yr later he contacted me and said he wanted visitation with my son and then he took me to court. After fighting his craziness for a yr in court and racking up attorney's fees like crazy he "the bio dad" fore fitted his rights to my son and the judge in Cali said to avoid furthering litigation costs that he would grant the "bio dads offer to fore fit his rights under the assumption that My husband would take them up" we all signed a stipulation agreeing that the" bio Dad would relinquish all rights to my son and myself and my husband would then have all legal rights and responsibilities to my son which then became our son.

Make sense now???

 

[Silverplum]

Okay I can see your confusion with this...
When I was 6 mo. pregnant I met my husband My son was born before we got married in California where we were also married. My son's Bio dad opted to stay out of my sons life at the time and wanted nothing to do with him what so ever so much that he told me to put my now husbands name on the birth certificate so I did a yr later he contacted me and said he wanted visitation with my son and then he took me to court. After fighting his craziness for a yr in court and racking up attorney's fees like crazy he "the bio dad" fore fitted his rights to my son and the judge in Cali said to avoid furthering litigation costs that he would grant the "bio dads offer to fore fit his rights under the assumption that My husband would take them up" we all signed a stipulation agreeing that the" bio Dad would relinquish all rights to my son and myself and my husband would then have all legal rights and responsibilities to my son which then became our son.

Make sense now???

Not at all to me. Maybe Zig will find it sensible.

 

[Zigner]

Yeah, you've got a mess. It's entirely possible that he WON'T be responsible for the child.


For the others - in a nutshell, OP and her current husband lied on the affidavit of paternity they filed.

 

[LillianX]

It doesn't make sense quite yet. Did your husband LEGALLY ADOPT your son?

 

[shannon_myers]

ok one more time

During the course of my pregnancy I had been trying to get the "bio dad" to be apart of his life and even then after he was born. I stopped trying when he told he wanted out I took his word for it. I didn't know I was doing anything wrong at the time I filed for the birth certificate and I was willing to change the birth certificate to fix what I had no clue was wrong at the time. I was a first time parent I had no clue what was what. So yes I did lie on the B/C to start but I would have fixed it had the Bio dad never fore fitted his rights. But he did and because My husband was on the B/C already the judge asked him if he wanted to have the opportunity to adopt My son legally so when signing the stipulation with the "Bio dad" the judge did what he referred to as adoption under the assumption rule and had my husband understand the once the stipulation became an order in the court that he nor I could go after the Bio Dad for anything that has to do with my son and that had anything ever happened between us that he would be responsible for my son. And not the Bio dad. my husband said he understood what he had signed and agreed to it full heartily. And it became an Order on the spot. in court during our hearing.

 

[Zigner]

The child was not adopted by your husband. Perhaps the judge referred to it as an adoption just to make the concept easier for the participants to understand...

 

[LillianX]

Your situation is convoluted enough that you are going to need to hire an attorney to help you sort through it and figure out whether or not your husband is your child's legal father. I suspect that he is not, but there is some evidence in what's going on that he may be. I honestly don't know. I'm having a hard time seeing your particular situation end up with the judge you had just leaving the child without a legal father. That doesn't mean he didn't, it actually looks like he may have.

If this is the case, your husband might not be responsible for supporting the child. There are a few possibilities. The court might declare him the father. The court might not.

You need an attorney to help you figure out, first and foremost, who your child's legal father is, if anyone. Then, you can go from there.