I pay child support and my child stays with me the majority of time

[DeltaButlers]

What is the name of your state?Alabama
I pay child support through the D.H.R and my son stays with me every weekend,holidays,and when school is out for the summer,all summer long.I enjoy having him with me all this time but I don't think I should have to pay child support to his mother because I feel as though this is the same as joint custody.His mother threatens to keep him home on her weekends and holidays,and during summer if I mention joint custody or stopping the child support.I love my child dearly and I don't want him hurt over this.I forgot to mention also he is 13 years old.Please help!

 

[Silverplum]

Do you have court orders for support?

Do you have court-ordered visitation?

 

[DeltaButlers]

Do you have court orders for support? yes,monthly child support payments.

Do you have court-ordered visitation?

yes,every other weekend

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?Alabama
I pay child support through the D.H.R and my son stays with me every weekend,holidays,and when school is out for the summer,all summer long.I enjoy having him with me all this time but I don't think I should have to pay child support to his mother because I feel as though this is the same as joint custody.His mother threatens to keep him home on her weekends and holidays,and during summer if I mention joint custody or stopping the child support.I love my child dearly and I don't want him hurt over this.I forgot to mention also he is 13 years old.Please help!

Realistically, the current schedule you have (not the ordered one but the one you are using) is not equivalent to 50/50 custody. In addition, 50/50 custody does not necessarily mean no child support. Unless the parent's incomes and expenses relating to the child are basically equal some child support would still exist even in a 50/50 situation.

Unless you live close enough to get the child back and forth to school there is little chance of you actually getting an order for 50/50 custody. A court is very unlikely to give you ALL the child's free time because that wouldn't be equitable. (all weekends, all holidays, all summer). You might get 3 weekends a month, half the holidays and most of the summer...but a court's going to give mom at least SOME of the free time.

Mom has the right to her court ordered time. She certainly can choose to take her time. Therefore yes, its likely that if you file to modify anything that she is going to keep the child during her court ordered time.

So weigh the circumstances carefully and decide what is the best thing to do.

 

[nextwife]

Realistically, the current schedule you have (not the ordered one but the one you are using) is not equivalent to 50/50 custody. In addition, 50/50 custody does not necessarily mean no child support. Unless the parent's incomes and expenses relating to the child are basically equal some child support would still exist even in a 50/50 situation.

Child support MAY exist in 50/50. And it may not. It depends upon the relative incomes.

If, for example, she is making more than you, and you had true 50/50, SHE would be paying CS. If your incomes are equivilant, in a 50/50 it is true that there may not be CS.

 

[LdiJ]

Child support MAY exist in 50/50. And it may not. It depends upon the relative incomes.

If, for example, she is making more than you, and you had true 50/50, SHE would be paying CS. If your incomes are equivilant, in a 50/50 it is true that there may not be CS.

Isn't that basically what I said?

 

[nextwife]

I was just clarifying. That CS is not (theoretically) gender based, but income based. That if there is true 50-50, that WHICHEVER parent makes more, pays the other. There would still possibly be CS, but it would be the higher income parent paying it, which may or may not be him.

Actually, trading weeks is a better way to accomplish 50/50.

 

[shawna maples]

It would be in your best interest to document the time your child has been w/you-perhaps a mini calendar. Also, the above conversations you mentioned w/your ex-In case you do end up in court.

A consultation w/an attorney in your area couldn't hurt.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state?Alabama
I pay child support through the D.H.R and my son stays with me every weekend,holidays,and when school is out for the summer,all summer long.I enjoy having him with me all this time but I don't think I should have to pay child support to his mother because I feel as though this is the same as joint custody.His mother threatens to keep him home on her weekends and holidays,and during summer if I mention joint custody or stopping the child support.I love my child dearly and I don't want him hurt over this.I forgot to mention also he is 13 years old.Please help!

Every weekend is 8-10 days a month vs. the 20-23 he spends with Mom....How is that even close to 50/50?

You can't stop child support~ whether you see your son when you want or not. All that will do is get you into trouble. DHS will certainly enforce your obligation legally.

The mother is already allowing you more weekend time than you have according to the court order~ So threatening her will likely only result in her sticking to the court order and you losing the xtra 2-4 days a month she is allowing outside of the order. You can go to court and try to prove you have the child those extra 2-4 days a month, but it likely won't decrease your child support amount (& if it does, it won't be a big change). Your child support was calculated based on your income, her income, and time with the child. It already included holidays and holiday assignment etc. So the only change would be 2 to 4 days a month and that isn't a big jump in parenting time.

 

[DeltaButlers]

Realistically, the current schedule you have (not the ordered one but the one you are using) is not equivalent to 50/50 custody. In addition, 50/50 custody does not necessarily mean no child support. Unless the parent's incomes and expenses relating to the child are basically equal some child support would still exist even in a 50/50 situation.

Unless you live close enough to get the child back and forth to school there is little chance of you actually getting an order for 50/50 custody. A court is very unlikely to give you ALL the child's free time because that wouldn't be equitable. (all weekends, all holidays, all summer). You might get 3 weekends a month, half the holidays and most of the summer...but a court's going to give mom at least SOME of the free time.

Mom has the right to her court ordered time. She certainly can choose to take her time. Therefore yes, its likely that if you file to modify anything that she is going to keep the child during her court ordered time.

So weigh the circumstances carefully and decide what is the best thing to do.

Yes,as a matter of fact,my child and his mother live just down the street from me and he calls me all the time wanting me to come get him and when he is over here at my house he never wants to go home.I've tried talking to him about moving in with me,not trying to persuade him to,but just letting him know he's more than welcome to come live with his father.He gets off the school bus here at my house on Wednesdays to go to church that night,and on Fridays to stay the weekend.

 

[DeltaButlers]

Every weekend is 8-10 days a month vs. the 20-23 he spends with Mom....How is that even close to 50/50?

You can't stop child support~ whether you see your son when you want or not. All that will do is get you into trouble. DHS will certainly enforce your obligation legally.

The mother is already allowing you more weekend time than you have according to the court order~ So threatening her will likely only result in her sticking to the court order and you losing the xtra 2-4 days a month she is allowing outside of the order. You can go to court and try to prove you have the child those extra 2-4 days a month, but it likely won't decrease your child support amount (& if it does, it won't be a big change). Your child support was calculated based on your income, her income, and time with the child. It already included holidays and holiday assignment etc. So the only change would be 2 to 4 days a month and that isn't a big jump in parenting time.

I understand what you're saying,but I think my child wants to live with me.He never wants to go home.Any time he his out of school,he's at my house,he only sleeps at his mother's during the night,he goes to school and as soon as he gets home,he's calling me on the phone to come get him.If he mentions to her about wanting to move in with me,she starts making promises to him about buying him some big toy or something.If you only knew her....she is so mean and loves trouble!

 

[DeltaButlers]

Child support MAY exist in 50/50. And it may not. It depends upon the relative incomes.

If, for example, she is making more than you, and you had true 50/50, SHE would be paying CS. If your incomes are equivilant, in a 50/50 it is true that there may not be CS.

She doesn't work at all.they based her income on minimum wage.

 

[DeltaButlers]

It would be in your best interest to document the time your child has been w/you-perhaps a mini calendar. Also, the above conversations you mentioned w/your ex-In case you do end up in court.

A consultation w/an attorney in your area couldn't hurt.

thanks,I spoke to an attorney and he said he may can get my child support lowered.He askede me if my son gets along with my step-children and I told him yes,which he does,and he said that's a big plus!

 

[DeltaButlers]

I understand what you're saying,but I think my child wants to live with me.He never wants to go home.Any time he his out of school,he's at my house,he only sleeps at his mother's during the night,he goes to school and as soon as he gets home,he's calling me on the phone to come get him.If he mentions to her about wanting to move in with me,she starts making promises to him about buying him some big toy or something.If you only knew her....she is so mean and loves trouble!She just lets him come to my home on her weekends so she won't have to deal with him plus the other 2 she has that belong to 2 other men,one being her cousin.

 

[LdiJ]

If you live that close you certainly would have a chance at 50/50 custody...ie one week with you, one week with mom. I would recommend trying for that to start. Since mom has an imputed minimum wage income you can still expect to pay some child support. Perhaps not as much as you are paying now. You aren't going to get full custody so forget about that. Eventually primary custody could be possible...but start with trying for 50/50.