I want the legalities to try and wake her up!

[liv2luv]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?California-Incident-On May 2nd,was getting ready to leave for work,wife gets up and has sever tonsilitis.Kids,2-6-13 we're up and waiting with Dad. I had to be at work per boss, told son to call her mom and ask for help. Shes coming, I left and they left to drs.While there, mominlaw says wife on drgs to dr and nelecting kids& abuse,dr calls CPS on wife, then wife admited to ICU-tonsilitis/Hyper Thyroidism.SS worker?? at bedside tells mom can't go back home,traces of drgs found,scares wife while sick.Then other??worker CPS calls wife and reads alagations and asks about it, wife admits to drgs, CPS says must see kids, mominlaw takes them day after.Then wife tells Dad,shocked,mad,upset-CPS calls says must see Dad & home. Sees Dad, sees home, CPS says no abuse,neglect home fine.But 6 yr old says bad dad(but not true-mominlaw??)
then CPS says case closed except 1 real bad mom(CPS sed) & 1 "ify" bad dad explained at that time.Dad asks"Why can't wife/kids come home?"CPS says"I never said that""Who then?" CPS"Dont know-Im only one assigned!"!Then I'm told wife/kids going to mominlaw for a little while, scared,weak,waaaah!Dad worries, then wife IMs dad and emails dad saying be home soon for 3 weeks.Dad still hasn't seen kids since May2.Then find wife is in rehab-ok-wife is clean-ok-wife not coming home.Will be tempted by bad friends-Dad (uh-oh)-try talking sending emails, no phone or transp avail to wife, mominlaw never liked dad, won't help dad see kids.Wife still loves me, but somethings different.Wife not acting normal.Wont tell anyone talking to dad or else trouble and so mixed up, wife has made reqst state reloc now to strt over, loves me,no response to dad not seeing her or kids. Dad going nuts emotionally/mentally,have no car,OC vs LA=long distance!Before this, everything good with wife&kids.Dad in nitemare/hell but dont want divorce-wasnt dometsic issue-Dad loves wife and kids, just want them home.Before this-wife has had issues-we tried always to work it out and kept together thru everything.Dad wants interceding for wife and kids but who?Afraid its been to long June 11 and dont want divorce-custody bttl-pain-mom not herself, dad thinks bipolarism fits(related-hyperthyroidism-I read!), wifes bro had mental issues recently, but Im alone as far as veh help and must keep working.If I go get kids-problems with mominlaw???Theres all these laws been broken,wife wont listen shes getting herself in trouble if divorce/custody issue b-cause I will!But can you list them to help please??!! Then Ill try-& hope!! Please understand-dad really luvs mom/kids 4-ever!Thanks-God Bless

 

[stealth2]

That is just this side of incomprehensible. Please edit it to make some sort of sense. Thank you.

 

[BL]

Diversity is a good thing , but most still speak english in the US .

I think

 

[randalv]

Re: I Want The Legalities To Try And Wake Her Up!

I AM FROM CA. YOU BETTER TAKE SOME ACTION NOW TO PROTECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILDREN!! HAVE BEEN FIGHTING TO GET CUSTODY OF MY KIDS FOR 3 YRS. THEIR MOTHER HAD BREAST CANCER THAT SPREAD TO HER LIVER LUNGS & BRAIN. ONE MONTH B4 SHE DIED HER MOTHER TOOK HER AND MY KIDS HOME WITH HER. 3 DAYS LATER I AM SERVED WITH A DIVORCE PETITION AND A TRO (TEMP. RESTRAINING ORDER) ALLEGING DRUG ABUSE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.WIFE WAS ARRESTED FOR DV 3 TIMES. YES, TESTED POS FOR DRUGS WHEN THIS ALL STARTED 2 TIMES AND MOTHER IN LAW WAS AWARDED GUARDIANSHIP OF KIDS THE DAY WIFE DIED! MOTHER IN LAW JUST DIED IN MARCH AND 23 YR OLD STEP DAUGHTER WAS APPOINTED SUCCESSOR GUARDIAN. EVEN THOUGH I CONTESTED EVERYTHING FROM DAY ONE AND NEVER HAVE BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME EVER! I EVEN SUBMITTED 2 CLEAN HAIR FOLLICLE DRUG TESTS AT THE LAST HEARING AND THEY STILL WONT GIVE MY KIDS BACK!NOW HAVING TO APPEAL.
MY ADVICE FOR YOU IS 1) IF YOU ARE USING STOP!! CA. DOES HAIR FOLLICLE TESTING AND THEY GO BACK EITHER 3 OR 6 MO. ITS UP TO THEM. 2)YOU BETTER GO TO THE COURTHOUSE AND FILE LEGAL SEP. PAPERS IF YOU DONT WANT TO FILE FOR DIV. BECAUSE THE WAY IT USUALLY WORKS OUT IS THE FIRST ONE TO FILE USUALLY WINS. I HAVE SPENT HUNDREDS OF HOURS RESEARCHING FAMILY LAW, JUVENILE LAW AND PROBATE LAW TRYING TO GET MY KIDS BACK. DONT BE SURPRISED IF YOUR MOTHER IN LAW DOESNT TALK YOUR WIFE INTO DOING SOMETHING SHE REALLY DOESNT WANT TO DO!! MINE DID AND I LOST MY LIFE!! SO, PROTECT YOURSELF NOW BEFORE ITS TOO LATE. IF YOU TEST POS. FOR DRUGS ITS AN AUTOMATIC THAT: YOU ARE UNABLE TO PROTECT YOUR KIDS DUE TO SUBSTANCE ABUSE. AND, IF AFTER YOU FILE YOUR WIFE STARTS CALLING, OR COMING AROUND TO TRY AND GET YOU TO STOP COURT PROCED. DONT DO IT!!!!! IF THERES ANYOTHER HELP YOU NEED YOU CAN E-MAIL ME AND I WILL CONTACT YOU TO TRY TO HELP. I LOST MY FAMILY AND I FOUND OUT THE HARD WAY HOW MEAN AND VICIOUS PEOPLE CAN BE!! MY E-MAIL IS RANDALV8@AOL.COM


















YOU BETTER CLEAN YOURSELF UP IF YOU ARE DOING DRUGS!! CA. COURTS DO HAIR FOLLICLE TESTING,WHICH THEY GO BACK FOR EITHER THE LAST 3 OR 6 MO.

 

[liv2luv]

Ok-I was in a lot of emotional turmoil when I sent this. I understand that you need thing's to be in the form of a question pertaining to one thought. This cannot be done unless you know the full story of a certain sitchuation. Randall was someone who has been thru a simular experience, he allowed this to continue and has now made everyone realize I have "questions" about what to do. And I do not use. She has and never heard my pleas to stop. And I always have been understanding because I believe in marriage, and believe in her. She's gone to rehab, but is not undersanding what this arrangement is doing and still thinks of me as someone who is there when she wants me to be. I am, but this is not acceptable anymore and she doesn't respond to my "are we divorcing" question, just loves me ans misses me and wants another chance to start as a family elsewhere so she's not tempted by her addict friends. So this is what I need to know:
First-I have children, I have a wife who has not kept up her responsibilities as I have and I have proof, email, I.M.'s, the report from CPS, and people know and have seen her behavior, schools, neighbors, etc. Inside of 12 years, the children have lived here for at least 7 years. Since this has happened, I've decided to file for custody. I can't let this behavior continue. Our children have suffered with her running and returning enough. What can I do without divorce-is their something legal that will allow me the rights to persue a life WITH my children here? My hope is this will wake her up-or allow me to live in peace with my kids. They deserve it!
Second-I am working, I have no transportation, no aquaintances to help me, I use the bus because work is close and lost my wheels just recently but have always had a car. They are miles away, even if I could VISIT, there's a problem there. Which is why I want them here and this is our home. Her mother has the means to allow her to stay there and always let's her do this to me but eventually she grows tired and returns, but my wife has never worked and this has always been a problem. I provide a house, food, clothing, insurance, everything my kids have needed and for her too. I have been here for 13 years. If there is something that doesn't allow me to have my kids here, can it be that the courts understand and have them drop off my kids for weekends and pick them up?note-my car was rspossesed because she stole the car payment, told my son to lie and would pay him for it. Then gave it to my father in law for cash. I got this job in Jan after it happened, but was to behind to catch up! I had previously used my Dec pmnt for presents. So, I screwed up and got screwed. My son confessed.
Third-I have a household to maintain, I have hardly any free cash for legal representation in this matter, I've heard that you won't win if you can't afford an attorney that is specialized. And I'm not sure what community legal services can give me for free that will put 100% into my problem because nothing is free really! And I don't want to start something that will start a process and backfires on me because I'm not rich! I need some help, but what will give me the best odds?
In closing, there's a lot to do and not much time, do not comment on obvious grammer or informal statement items please-you have the ability to look past emotional communications since nobody would be here unless under some kind of pressure, and FAMILY LAW is something that scares people with family and does not want to quit or cause more problems. But it's difficult to even think clearly when children are at risk and thing's are not stable and you have to involve the system that is known to be biased on people with no $$$$. Look at the example recently set-Michael Jackson!!!!! So please help me ASAP, I thank you and this forum.

 

[casa]

Ok-I was in a lot of emotional turmoil when I sent this. I understand that you need thing's to be in the form of a question pertaining to one thought. This cannot be done unless you know the full story of a certain sitchuation. Randall was someone who has been thru a simular experience, he allowed this to continue and has now made everyone realize I have "questions" about what to do. And I do not use. She has and never heard my pleas to stop. And I always have been understanding because I believe in marriage, and believe in her. She's gone to rehab, but is not undersanding what this arrangement is doing and still thinks of me as someone who is there when she wants me to be. I am, but this is not acceptable anymore and she doesn't respond to my "are we divorcing" question, just loves me ans misses me and wants another chance to start as a family elsewhere so she's not tempted by her addict friends. So this is what I need to know:
First-I have children, I have a wife who has not kept up her responsibilities as I have and I have proof, email, I.M.'s, the report from CPS, and people know and have seen her behavior, schools, neighbors, etc. Inside of 12 years, the children have lived here for at least 7 years. Since this has happened, I've decided to file for custody. I can't let this behavior continue. Our children have suffered with her running and returning enough. What can I do without divorce-is their something legal that will allow me the rights to persue a life WITH my children here? My hope is this will wake her up-or allow me to live in peace with my kids. They deserve it!
Second-I am working, I have no transportation, no aquaintances to help me, I use the bus because work is close and lost my wheels just recently but have always had a car. They are miles away, even if I could VISIT, there's a problem there. Which is why I want them here and this is our home. Her mother has the means to allow her to stay there and always let's her do this to me but eventually she grows tired and returns, but my wife has never worked and this has always been a problem. I provide a house, food, clothing, insurance, everything my kids have needed and for her too. I have been here for 13 years. If there is something that doesn't allow me to have my kids here, can it be that the courts understand and have them drop off my kids for weekends and pick them up?note-my car was rspossesed because she stole the car payment, told my son to lie and would pay him for it. Then gave it to my father in law for cash. I got this job in Jan after it happened, but was to behind to catch up! I had previously used my Dec pmnt for presents. So, I screwed up and got screwed. My son confessed.
Third-I have a household to maintain, I have hardly any free cash for legal representation in this matter, I've heard that you won't win if you can't afford an attorney that is specialized. And I'm not sure what community legal services can give me for free that will put 100% into my problem because nothing is free really! And I don't want to start something that will start a process and backfires on me because I'm not rich! I need some help, but what will give me the best odds?
In closing, there's a lot to do and not much time, do not comment on obvious grammer or informal statement items please-you have the ability to look past emotional communications since nobody would be here unless under some kind of pressure, and FAMILY LAW is something that scares people with family and does not want to quit or cause more problems. But it's difficult to even think clearly when children are at risk and thing's are not stable and you have to involve the system that is known to be biased on people with no $$$$. Look at the example recently set-Michael Jackson!!!!! So please help me ASAP, I thank you and this forum.

You'll have to file for divorce and custody. Period. You can't have a custody order while you are still married- because you both have equal rights to the children. ie; She can keep them with her- You can keep them with you...and it will only result in the two of you grabbing them from each other & bouncing them back & forth.

Contact CPS and see if you can get documentation of their findings against your wife. Provide any/all documentation which demonstrates you are the caretaker of the children.
Don't expect your in-laws to help you when push comes to shove.

If you have no transportation- How will you get the 2 yr old to daycare & how will you pick up the 6 year old afterschool or get them to school?

If you don't win custody- You will at least have visitation rights...although you will be responsible for at least a portion of the transportation.

 

[randalv]

Ok-I was in a lot of emotional turmoil when I sent this. I understand that you need thing's to be in the form of a question pertaining to one thought. This cannot be done unless you know the full story of a certain sitchuation. Randall was someone who has been thru a simular experience, he allowed this to continue and has now made everyone realize I have "questions" about what to do. And I do not use. She has and never heard my pleas to stop. And I always have been understanding because I believe in marriage, and believe in her. She's gone to rehab, but is not undersanding what this arrangement is doing and still thinks of me as someone who is there when she wants me to be. I am, but this is not acceptable anymore and she doesn't respond to my "are we divorcing" question, just loves me ans misses me and wants another chance to start as a family elsewhere so she's not tempted by her addict friends. So this is what I need to know:
First-I have children, I have a wife who has not kept up her responsibilities as I have and I have proof, email, I.M.'s, the report from CPS, and people know and have seen her behavior, schools, neighbors, etc. Inside of 12 years, the children have lived here for at least 7 years. Since this has happened, I've decided to file for custody. I can't let this behavior continue. Our children have suffered with her running and returning enough. What can I do without divorce-is their something legal that will allow me the rights to persue a life WITH my children here? My hope is this will wake her up-or allow me to live in peace with my kids. They deserve it!
Second-I am working, I have no transportation, no aquaintances to help me, I use the bus because work is close and lost my wheels just recently but have always had a car. They are miles away, even if I could VISIT, there's a problem there. Which is why I want them here and this is our home. Her mother has the means to allow her to stay there and always let's her do this to me but eventually she grows tired and returns, but my wife has never worked and this has always been a problem. I provide a house, food, clothing, insurance, everything my kids have needed and for her too. I have been here for 13 years. If there is something that doesn't allow me to have my kids here, can it be that the courts understand and have them drop off my kids for weekends and pick them up?note-my car was rspossesed because she stole the car payment, told my son to lie and would pay him for it. Then gave it to my father in law for cash. I got this job in Jan after it happened, but was to behind to catch up! I had previously used my Dec pmnt for presents. So, I screwed up and got screwed. My son confessed.
Third-I have a household to maintain, I have hardly any free cash for legal representation in this matter, I've heard that you won't win if you can't afford an attorney that is specialized. And I'm not sure what community legal services can give me for free that will put 100% into my problem because nothing is free really! And I don't want to start something that will start a process and backfires on me because I'm not rich! I need some help, but what will give me the best odds?
In closing, there's a lot to do and not much time, do not comment on obvious grammer or informal statement items please-you have the ability to look past emotional communications since nobody would be here unless under some kind of pressure, and FAMILY LAW is something that scares people with family and does not want to quit or cause more problems. But it's difficult to even think clearly when children are at risk and thing's are not stable and you have to involve the system that is known to be biased on people with no $$$$. Look at the example recently set-Michael Jackson!!!!! So please help me ASAP, I thank you and this forum.

Ok, you don't want to file for divorce,so, how about legal separation? It's the same papers that you file for the divorce proceedings the only difference is you mark the sep. instead of div. so I would think you can proceed with custody also. Your financial situation shouldn't make a difference. But run don't walk to the courthouse and get those papers now!! If she files for welfare one of the things they do is get a form of custody order.

 

[liv2luv]

Ok, I printed the forms. I am going thru with this. I want to raise my children in a household that doesn't stoop to these levels and as I stated. I don't know what happened in rehab with my wife or what my mother-in-law has done. But this is not my wife's character( Boy,what a chacter!!HA!-nevermind!). So, I am feeling there's a whole lot I'm not being made aware of, but it's been too long and I can't stand this. When I file, is there something they can do that will make my mother-in-law know she assisted in damaging my children? Before this, we we're a family with problems, but we we're always trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm talking about me and the kids. My wife was always causing thing's to happen to herself and we got carried in with it. But, my mother-in-law has kept it to the state that it is and she doesn't have any care what she's done. She's a cold hearted manipulating person, and there are laws to protect innocent people by this type of being. I don't want to let her off, will I have a chance for everything to be disclosed, the whole saga, even if some manipulation by her on my kids and wife was done, it needs to be surfaced and undone. I can't stand just doing something without making known that she is dangerous. I know my wife's problem, weak and uncertain, ready to cling when she's in trouble, but always the wrong way. But I'm afraid to even think my mother-in-law will have access to my kids if thing's go my way. What else besides separation/divorce, custody. etc., papers can I add?