I wont consent to stepparent adoption

[Chief0619]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kansas City ks

My ex want me to consent to my son being adopted by her husband. I said no. She hasn't let me see him in Like 3 yrs since he was 1 and when I told her I would give her $ she said she didn't need it cuz her husband was providing everything for him. I don't pay child support cuz she never ordered it. I've messaged her over the yrs on Facebook trying to see my son but she never let me. I decided to back and better myself and didn't insist so I could be allow to see him. I hadn't bothered her in a yr. I even beeen thinking of opening a savings account for my sons future. Now all of a sudden I got told that she wants to have him adopted by her husband. Can she do that even if I don't sign? She says she is going to court would the judge let them adopt my son even if I wasn't allowed to be a dad to him?

 

[CTU]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kansas City ks

My ex want me to consent to my son being adopted by her husband. I said no. She hasn't let me see him in Like 3 yrs since he was 1 and when I told her I would give her $ she said she didn't need it cuz her husband was providing everything for him. I don't pay child support cuz she never ordered it. I've messaged her over the yrs on Facebook trying to see my son but she never let me. I decided to back and better myself and didn't insist so I could be allow to see him. I hadn't bothered her in a yr. I even beeen thinking of opening a savings account for my sons future. Now all of a sudden I got told that she wants to have him adopted by her husband. Can she do that even if I don't sign? She says she is going to court would the judge let them adopt my son even if I wasn't allowed to be a dad to him?

The court can terminate your rights whether you like it or not, in order for a stepparent adoption to go ahead.

You haven't bothered to be a father. Why should the court be bothered about you now?

 

[Chief0619]

The court can terminate your rights whether you like it or not, in order for a stepparent adoption to go ahead.

You haven't bothered to be a father. Why should the court be bothered about you now?

She won't even let me see my own son tho I told her I would give money if that's what she wanted but she said no I don't know where she lives or her phone number and she blocked me from Facebook a yr ago. My mom and sis knows where she lives but she was told to not tell me.

 

[Ohiogal]

She won't even let me see my own son tho I told her I would give money if that's what she wanted but she said no I don't know where she lives or her phone number and she blocked me from Facebook a yr ago. My mom and sis knows where she lives but she was told to not tell me.

Why in the last three years did you never file in court to establish paternity and custody/visitation? Answer that. Until you establish paternity in court, you don't have a son.

 

[CTU]

She won't even let me see my own son tho I told her I would give money if that's what she wanted but she said no I don't know where she lives or her phone number and she blocked me from Facebook a yr ago. My mom and sis knows where she lives but she was told to not tell me.

Chief, why am I getting the distinct impression that you're not actually the father in this situation but, rather, Mom? (Or stepdad)

 

[CTU]

And what do you know ... it appears that as an unwed father who has not established paternity, your consent is not required at all. In fact, it looks like Mom doesn't even have to notify you.

Are you indeed an unwed father who has not established paternity?

 

[Zigner]

And what do you know ... it appears that as an unwed father who has not established paternity, your consent is not required at all. In fact, it looks like Mom doesn't even have to notify you.

Are you indeed an unwed father who has not established paternity?

That's kind of true...
The court will appoint an attorney to represent the unknown/unlocatable father. The court will also publish notice of the proceedings (which can be considered "notice".)

http://www.kslegislature.org/li_2012/b2011_12/statute/059_000_0000_chapter/059_021_0000_article/059_021_0036_section/059_021_0036_k/

 

[Chief0619]

And what do you know ... it appears that as an unwed father who has not established paternity, your consent is not required at all. In fact, it looks like Mom doesn't even have to notify you.

Are you indeed an unwed father who has not established paternity?

never got marry to her but I dint know I had to establish paternity I thought if I was on the birth certificate I am the father and I have rights as father anyway and I read other posts that said if ur the father u have to give consent cuz u have rights so that means I have rights n need to b notified

 

[Chief0619]

Why in the last three years did you never file in court to establish paternity and custody/visitation? Answer that. Until you establish paternity in court, you don't have a son.

Am on the birth certificate tho I dint know I had to do extra stuff in court to prove I'm the father

 

[CTU]

never got marry to her but I dint know I had to establish paternity I thought if I was on the birth certificate I am the father and I have rights as father anyway and I read other posts that said if ur the father u have to give consent cuz u have rights so that means I have rights n need to b notified

I'm sorry, I'm not wasting time on someone who can't put together a complete sentence.

(but for what it's worth, I doubt Mom will have any problem proving abandonment ... you've done absolutely nothing to obtain or enforce your rights)

 

[Zigner]

I'm sorry, I'm not wasting time on someone who can't put together a complete sentence.

(but for what it's worth, I doubt Mom will have any problem proving abandonment ... you've done absolutely nothing to obtain or enforce your rights)

I agree. I was pointing out that the OP would need to be notified in some way, possibly including by publication.

 

[CTU]

I agree. I was pointing out that the OP would need to be notified in some way, possibly including by publication.

Oh I wasn't disputing that ... I was more "dude, you have just about no chance of stopping this stepparent adoption" .

And honestly, it looks like adoption would actually be in this child's best interest. I'm curious as to WHY Dad suddenly wants to play Super Dad. I have suspicions, but I'll let him answer

 

[latigo]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kansas City ks

My ex want me to consent to my son being adopted by her husband. I said no. She hasn't let me see him in Like 3 yrs since he was 1 and when I told her I would give her $ she said she didn't need it cuz her husband was providing everything for him. I don't pay child support cuz she never ordered it. I've messaged her over the yrs on Facebook trying to see my son but she never let me. I decided to back and better myself and didn't insist so I could be allow to see him. I hadn't bothered her in a yr. I even beeen thinking of opening a savings account for my sons future. Now all of a sudden I got told that she wants to have him adopted by her husband. Can she do that even if I don't sign? She says she is going to court would the judge let them adopt my son even if I wasn't allowed to be a dad to him?

Yes she can! And without your written consent.

Aside from whether filiation has been officially recognized all she needs to prove to the court is that you have "failed or refused to assume the duties of a parent for two consecutive years next preceding the filing of the petition for adoption . . . " (See: Kansas Statutes Annot. Section 59-236(d)

 

[Chief0619]

I wasn't given a chance to be involved in my sons life she wouldn't let me see my own son anymore even when I said I would pay! I just wanted to see him n she always said no! I love my son and yea maybe I messed up and I don't want to say cuz is personal but I am the father and need a chance to be there for my son! He has my last name I know I have rights cuz I'm the dad! I'm even trying to start saving up money for his future cus I love him and care about him I. Just wasn't allowed to see him that's not my fault that's her

 

[Ohiogal]

I wasn't given a chance to be involved in my sons life she wouldn't let me see my own son anymore even when I said I would pay! I just wanted to see him n she always said no! I love my son and yea maybe I messed up and I don't want to say cuz is personal but I am the father and need a chance to be there for my son! He has my last name I know I have rights cuz I'm the dad! I'm even trying to start saving up money for his future cus I love him and care about him I. Just wasn't allowed to see him that's not my fault that's her

WRONG. You didn't ATTEMPT to be in your son's life because YOU did not go to court to establish your rights. You have abandoned your child by providing no support and having no contact though you may be able to put it off for a bit. Are you prepared to pay a court of child support back to birth?