Im 16 and not sure what to do about....

[confused1988]

What is the name of your state? Florida

Hi...Ok I need someone to help me. I am 16 and I live with my aunt and uncle. i have ran away 2 times because I do not like the living conditions here. I mean my parents don't abuse me or anything, but my uncle treats me like crap! He makes me feel like nothing. He gripes at me for any little stupid thing, he yells at me..he just talks mean to me. Now ive told him I hate him because Ive gotten so mad at him. But i know truthfully I do love him and my aunt. Well anyways, my aunt isnt that bad but she goes right along with what my uncle says! i asked her last time we got into an arguement why does she let him talk to me like that and she didnt say anything. they also do not let me have a life! i cant go anywhere, and if i do somewhere its rarely ever, and when i do go somewhere they say i know what r doing there9like they got someone watching me). I hate it.. Anyways, my 2nd time i ran away was just recently and my sister came and got me. Every time me and my aunt and uncle jave gotten into an arguement Ive called her and told her what went on, and she doesnt think they treat me right either. Well now im back home because a cop came and got me. My aunt says my sister can't call or come over at all till Im 18! i dont think she can do that, can she?? Also my sister wants to get custody of me, how well of a chance do you think she will have. Shes 26, she has a home and a job. She can take care of me. So someone please tell me what you think of my story and do you think my sister an get custody of me and if she can how does she go along by doing it?
thanks, J

 

[stealth2]

Unless your sister has court-ordered visitation, she has no rights to see you. Apparently your aunt/uncle have custody - they get to tell you what to do and who to see.

In order to gain custody, your sister would have to prove that your aunt/uncle are unfit. You have't said anything yet that would indicate that.

 

[confused1988]

So what if..

Florida

So even if my sister has more blood connection with me, then she has absolutely no rights to see me..That's bullcrap! you dont think thats a little messed up that my aunt says my sister cant have anything to do with me. What if you were in my spot? Your mother said you cant have anything to do with you till you move out.

 

[stealth2]

Bullcrap or not, that's the way it is - there is no inherent right for visitation between siblings. Absent a court order, your guardian is allowed to limit your contact with all and sundry.

 

[confused1988]

can she..

Florida


So how would my sister go about getting a court order, and how long will it take?

 

[stealth2]

She'd have to file a motion in court asking for visitation. Noone can tell you what the odds are, but certainly the fact that she has helped you when you've run away isn't going to be in her favor. So perhaps a better bet would be for her to make amends with your aunt & uncle.

 

[LdiJ]

Unless your sister has court-ordered visitation, she has no rights to see you. Apparently your aunt/uncle have custody - they get to tell you what to do and who to see.

In order to gain custody, your sister would have to prove that your aunt/uncle are unfit. You have't said anything yet that would indicate that.

Actually...that is not entirely correct. This isn't a third party going against a parent, its a third party going against another third party, with a teen old enough that her wishes could have some weight. (yes, I know...this is giving a teen "hope" when it really isn't appropriate to do that...we aren't supposed to tell them that their wishes might have weight...and normally I wouldn't)

In addition, the aunt and uncle, as third party guardians, don't have the same protections that a parent has. Sis could certainly get visitation...and fairly easily. I also suspect that she very possibly could get custody. She is certainly old enough that her age wouldn't be a factor....assuming that she is stable enough to support a teenager.

 

[gatorguy3]

does your aunt and uncle have court ordered custody of you and where are your parents?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I would suggest everyone go back and CAREFULLY re-Read the original post and find out why there is a problem here and why this 'child' will most likely NOT be allowed visitation with her sister.

There's A LOT MORE to this story that we're NOT being told.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

We don't know where the parents are and who has custody. There is no abuse and OP even loves the other parties, OP has runaway 2 times because of altercations, not escapng because of abuse or neglect, typical complaints of teenagers. If OP has this history, most likely the judge would not award custody of an incorrigible child to the sister as the younger sibling is only looking for someone who won't impose rules and structure, and if older sister wanted custody they could have filed for it anyway. The judge might place the child in foster care or juvenile facility.
Yes lots more to this story and not enough answers ot give any advice.

 

[gatorguy3]

I would highly doubt any judge would keep one sibling from visiting another sibling unless the elder sibling is worse off than the younger.

I would say, from my most humble opinion, the court would want the siblings to have contact. Just because the older sister comforted and talked to the younger when she ran away? What was she supposed to do. Tell her to get her ass right back to the other house. What happens then, the next time the girl runs away? Huh? Any guesses?

She will run away and not call her sister or anyone else for that matter. Maybe she will end up on the run permanently. Just maybe, she will not find herself in a ditch somewhere accross America because she then would have nobody she could trust. At least at this point, she trusts her sister. Is that such a bad thing?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I would highly doubt any judge would keep one sibling from visiting another sibling unless the elder sibling is worse off than the younger.

I would say, from my most humble opinion, the court would want the siblings to have contact. Just because the older sister comforted and talked to the younger when she ran away? What was she supposed to do. Tell her to get her ass right back to the other house. What happens then, the next time the girl runs away? Huh? Any guesses?

She will run away and not call her sister or anyone else for that matter. Maybe she will end up on the run permanently. Just maybe, she will not find herself in a ditch somewhere accross America because she then would have nobody she could trust. At least at this point, she trusts her sister. Is that such a bad thing?

Another post by gatorbreath that has absolutely nothing to do with the law or facts of this post.

 

[KKHeuser]

What is the name of your state? Florida

Hi...Ok I need someone to help me. I am 16 and I live with my aunt and uncle. i have ran away 2 times because I do not like the living conditions here. I mean my parents don't abuse me or anything, but my uncle treats me like crap! He makes me feel like nothing. He gripes at me for any little stupid thing, he yells at me..he just talks mean to me. Now ive told him I hate him because Ive gotten so mad at him. But i know truthfully I do love him and my aunt. Well anyways, my aunt isnt that bad but she goes right along with what my uncle says! i asked her last time we got into an arguement why does she let him talk to me like that and she didnt say anything. they also do not let me have a life! i cant go anywhere, and if i do somewhere its rarely ever, and when i do go somewhere they say i know what r doing there9like they got someone watching me). I hate it.. Anyways, my 2nd time i ran away was just recently and my sister came and got me. Every time me and my aunt and uncle jave gotten into an arguement Ive called her and told her what went on, and she doesnt think they treat me right either. Well now im back home because a cop came and got me. My aunt says my sister can't call or come over at all till Im 18! i dont think she can do that, can she?? Also my sister wants to get custody of me, how well of a chance do you think she will have. Shes 26, she has a home and a job. She can take care of me. So someone please tell me what you think of my story and do you think my sister an get custody of me and if she can how does she go along by doing it?
thanks, J

Legally, I agree with all the other posters there's little your sister can do without clear evidence of abuse or that your aunt and uncle are unfit. Visitation can be ordered on your sister's behalf but, that doesn't mean your aunt and uncle will honor that order. Evidently, they feel that your sister is a bad influence, and regardless of whether or not it is true a judge will more than likely take the word of your guardians over that of you and your sister. My advice to you is quite simple, instead of running away which only makes you look like a bad kid, walk away, go to your room do what ever is necessary to leave the arguement. If you don't have a job get one. Keep your grades up.. If the situation continues badly at home and you have shown that you've matured (by not running away and doing what I mentioned above) then maybe your sister could assist you in seeking emancipation. Research the emancipation laws in Florida and it's requirements.

 

[jslopez711]

What is the name of your state? Florida

Hi...Ok I need someone to help me. I am 16 and I live with my aunt and uncle. i have ran away 2 times because I do not like the living conditions here. I mean my parents don't abuse me or anything, but my uncle treats me like crap! He makes me feel like nothing. He gripes at me for any little stupid thing, he yells at me..he just talks mean to me. Now ive told him I hate him because Ive gotten so mad at him. But i know truthfully I do love him and my aunt. Well anyways, my aunt isnt that bad but she goes right along with what my uncle says! i asked her last time we got into an arguement why does she let him talk to me like that and she didnt say anything. they also do not let me have a life! i cant go anywhere, and if i do somewhere its rarely ever, and when i do go somewhere they say i know what r doing there9like they got someone watching me). I hate it.. Anyways, my 2nd time i ran away was just recently and my sister came and got me. Every time me and my aunt and uncle jave gotten into an arguement Ive called her and told her what went on, and she doesnt think they treat me right either. Well now im back home because a cop came and got me. My aunt says my sister can't call or come over at all till Im 18! i dont think she can do that, can she?? Also my sister wants to get custody of me, how well of a chance do you think she will have. Shes 26, she has a home and a job. She can take care of me. So someone please tell me what you think of my story and do you think my sister an get custody of me and if she can how does she go along by doing it?
thanks, J

Isn't this typical of every 13-18 year old? I hate this I hate that!!!

 

[gatorguy3]

To answer the question of visitation...

There were many examples to cases where siblings were given the right to visitation but the following fit the closest.

"In re Wemark, 525 N.W.2d 7 (Iowa Ct. App. 1994) (where after mother's death and father's incarceration minor children were placed in custody of guardians, court had power to order visitation with children's adult sibling because guardians were subject to jurisdiction of court concerning children). "

You see...this young gal, the OP, is in the custody of her Aunt and Uncle, which means simply they are her guardians. And according to this case law "guardians (are) subject to jurisdiction of court concerning children."

That means, in layman's terms, the older sibling has the "standing" to request visitation and most likely will be accepted.

The site I found also stated the following:

"IV. CONCLUSION

Many courts have held that it is in the best interests of the children to keep siblings together, and have awarded custody on this basis. E.g., In re Marriage of Fynaardt, 545 N.W.2d 890 (Iowa Ct. App. 1996); In re Marriage of Spurgeon, 119 Or. App. 59, 849 P.2d 1132 (1993). See generally 1 Jeff Atkinson, Modern Child Custody Practice 4.17 (Supp. 1996); Linda D. Elrod, Child Custody Practice and Procedure 4:33 (1996). The policy is equally true for half-siblings who have formed a close bond. E.g., Morrow v. Morrow, 585 So. 2d 61 (Ala. Civ. App. 1991); In re Marriage of Orte, 389 N.W.2d 373 (Iowa 1986); Tedesco v. Tedesco, 111 Md. App. 648, 683 A.2d 1133 (1996); Jorschumb v. Jorschumb, 390 N.W.2d 806 (Minn. Ct. App. 1986); Hockenberry v. Thompson, 428 Pa. Super. 403, 631 A.2d 204 (1993); Mitzel v. Black Cloud-Walberg, 511 N.W.2d 816 (S.D. 1994). Indeed, the desire to keep siblings and half-siblings together can form the basis of awarding custody to a stepparent. E.g., Fenimore v. Smith, 145 Or. App. 501, 930 P.2d 892 (1996).

If courts are willing to award custody to a nonparent on the basis that half-siblings are entitled to maintain a relationship, then courts should be willing to allow sibling visitation."

Hope this is helpful

yours truly,

~gatorbreath