Normally she would NEVER use that language with Dad or I. Mom is the only one who allows it. The fact that she sent me a text using that language shows me how upset she is. Her and I have heart to hearts quite frequently when she's ar our house and I have only heard that language once before. Completely agreed on hubby not keeping kiddo.
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I'm Back Again
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Normally she would NEVER use that language with Dad or I. Mom is the only one who allows it. The fact that she sent me a text using that language shows me how upset she is. Her and I have heart to hearts quite frequently when she's ar our house and I have only heard that language once before. Completely agreed on hubby not keeping kiddo.
Nevergrowup
Member
Glad to hear it...although in the whole scheme of things language might not seem like that big of a deal, but even if mom allows trash behavior that doesn't mean the child actually has to be trashy. Probably hard to fight it when a parent allows that type of behavior though!
I don't even allow mine to use the word "crap". There are thousands of words in the English language, so there are many other choices for words that are just disrespectful fillers. Although occasionally I let loose myself in front of my husband only
. Never in front of the kids though...do as I do and all that...same thing with text-ese. If my daughter texts me, it must be in proper grammar or I won't answer
I don't even allow mine to use the word "crap". There are thousands of words in the English language, so there are many other choices for words that are just disrespectful fillers. Although occasionally I let loose myself in front of my husband only
. Never in front of the kids though...do as I do and all that...same thing with text-ese. If my daughter texts me, it must be in proper grammar or I won't answerMore Drama!
Hubby got his new job! He is now working for the IronWorkers Union so he's out of town Mon am thru Thurs pm. Mom decided today that SD13 needs to move back with her. Still haven't had a hearing on the contempt, but doesn't even matter now since CO states after Jan 1 SD is back here enrolled in our school district. Mom showed up down here at the Sheriff Dept saying that she has sole custody of SD13 and I refused to release her after visitation. Yes I said I refused. That is what she told the deputy. So he calls Dad, Dad calls me, I have to bring CO up to Sheriff Dept. Not sure what paperwork she brought, but evidently it wasn't the same CO I brought. Needless to say, kiddo is staying here. Dad's lawyer told me not to give her any of the kiddos unless it is her visitation time.
SD13 is scared that when she goes to school Thurs, Mom will come get her from school. Last Thurs Mom had kiddos for visitation and kicked SD13 out of her house and made her sleep in the shed. She really doesn't want to go back to Mom's. Anything I can do while Dad is out of town to prevent Mom from getting kiddo at school? Anything I should be doing besides what I'm already doing?
Also, Dad asked me to make kiddo a counseling appt ASAP so I will be doing that tomorrow. I know that's something that is usually advised
Thanks for all your help and advice everyone!
Hubby got his new job! He is now working for the IronWorkers Union so he's out of town Mon am thru Thurs pm. Mom decided today that SD13 needs to move back with her. Still haven't had a hearing on the contempt, but doesn't even matter now since CO states after Jan 1 SD is back here enrolled in our school district. Mom showed up down here at the Sheriff Dept saying that she has sole custody of SD13 and I refused to release her after visitation. Yes I said I refused. That is what she told the deputy. So he calls Dad, Dad calls me, I have to bring CO up to Sheriff Dept. Not sure what paperwork she brought, but evidently it wasn't the same CO I brought. Needless to say, kiddo is staying here. Dad's lawyer told me not to give her any of the kiddos unless it is her visitation time.
SD13 is scared that when she goes to school Thurs, Mom will come get her from school. Last Thurs Mom had kiddos for visitation and kicked SD13 out of her house and made her sleep in the shed. She really doesn't want to go back to Mom's. Anything I can do while Dad is out of town to prevent Mom from getting kiddo at school? Anything I should be doing besides what I'm already doing?
Also, Dad asked me to make kiddo a counseling appt ASAP so I will be doing that tomorrow. I know that's something that is usually advised
Thanks for all your help and advice everyone!
LOL. No Dad hasn't posted. He has finally gotten to where he will post things to facebook occasionally from his phone, but he won't touch the computer. He is really involved with the kids, but when it comes to actual typing of info, its me. Plus at the moment he is driving to TN so if he was typing on his phone I'd kick his behind ;-)
He does most of the talking with the lawyer though
That is a big improvement from where we were a couple years ago.
stealth2
Under the Radar Member
Well.. good luck to him. And you. Like I said... I hold nothing against you. But if this is important to him? He needs to get his rear in gear and step up. IMO - it's the standard I hold other posters to. And the one I will hold you/him to. What others do is up to them.
Nevergrowup
Member
I know you all have had a crazy situation for a while...but...if I were mom, I would use Dad's out of town status as a change of circumstance. Just saying...if I were Mom, I would not put up with stepmom caring for my child(ren) 4 days a week.
LdiJ
Senior Member
I agree. That could really end up being an issue.
Honestly, if I were Mom, that would be my issue too. But Mom only wants SD13. She doesn't want the other 3 kiddos living with her full time. That's what she has told the kiddos, Hubby, and the Deputy that spoke with all of us yesterday. I don't see how it could be a COC for only 1one and not all 4? But then again, this is how its always been with Mom. According to her, they are too much work. 1 has a learning disability and an IEP. Mom seems to think *I* am the only one who can deal with all that. Not sure where exactly she has gotten that *I* have to deal with anything, but she has said that in court. Those 3 need to stay here because I don't work and she can't afford a sitter. She doesn't have time to take 2 girls to violin lessons. She doesn't have time for this, that, or whatever. That is all stuff she has said, even after it has been explained to her multiple times that I am not part of this CO and she can't expect me to do it all for her (even though I will anyway. LOL)
Ohiogal
Queen Bee
It doesn't matter. It is a change of circumstance for all but mom can ask only for the 13 year old.
The other issue I see is if YOU decide to step in the middle and PREVENT mom from taking HER children -- that is a problem. You are a LEGAL STRANGER and you KNOW this!
CJane
Senior Member
She'd be unlikely - REALLY unlikely - to be successful in that in MO. 1) because the kids would be split up and the courts hate that and 2) because Dad's work schedule isn't a significant enough change - StepMom has always provided the majority of care as a stay at home parent, and Mom has admitted this and agreed to it in court.
She would face virtually no issues preventing Mom from taking the kids when it's not Mom's designated custodial time. A court order (according to MY MO judge) restricts as much as it grants. If Mom doesn't have an order saying she CAN have the kids on X days, then she is not allowed to have the children on X days. Doesn't matter if they're at school, at a daycare provider, or with StepMom. No one will be 'dinged' for preventing her access that is not provided to her in a court order.
I guess it doesn't make sense to me why a judge would consider it a COC when it affects all but Mom only wants 1... whatever... there's a lot about the family court system that doesn't make sense to me. LOL
I will no way no how prevent Mom from taking her children on her time. I will have them at the designated spot at the designated time as I always have. Hubby's lawyer told both me and him that I was not to release the children to her unless it was her parenting time with them. Hubby actually told me that first, but I told him to have his lawyer call me because I wanted to hear it directly from her to make sure there was no misunderstanding/miscommunication. This is where I'm really confused because I don't want to overstep and do something to cause him to lose custody, but at the same time I don't want to go against his lawyers advice, KWIM?
To me, it would make more sense to release kiddo to her if she comes to get her, then Hubby file contempt/custodial interference/whatever against Mom in court. All I definitely know is that I have 7 kiddos to take care of in my house and I want to keep all of them from being affected by this as much as possible.
I see what your saying and I agree with you too. How can I agree with you and OG when you're both saying opposite things? Does this tell anyone how confused I am right now? Dad has always worked full time and a lot of the time was working 50-60 hours a week. Now he's working 40 hours, but making quadruple what he was making before and has 3 full days a week to spend with the kiddos. Heck I don't know. Maybe they just need to go back to court and get a more detailed CO so everyone knows exactly what is going on.
mistoffolees
Senior Member
I don't think that's right.
If Mom is still the legal parent, the school CAN get in trouble for not releasing the child when Mom requests. The school has no way of knowing when it's Mom's time or not. Same thing for the neighbor down the street.
Of course, if Mom takes the child when it's not her time (and if there's no ROFR), Dad can file for contempt. But the school can't get in the middle of it.
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