In case of death?

[shellnotalawyer]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? MI

My husband and I are trying to plan for what would happen to our children in the event of our deaths. We are concerned with what would happen with my older son who is 12. He is not my husband's biological child, but has been his "dad" since ds was 2 years old. When ds was 2, I moved from another state to MI, where my then fiance lived. We've now lived here nearly 10 years. My ds's biological father has a very minimal role in his life. He speaks to him a few times a year and only sees him when we go back for family functions as my family is still in the other state. We are concerned that should something happen to me, my husband may have no rights to our ds. We have heard of situations similar to and exactly like ours where the biological parent, though a virtual stranger to the child, ends up winning custody. I would really like to know that in that circumstance, my kids could grow up together and our family would stay intact. What course of action should we take? Would an adoption be necessary to ensure that he stays with my husband? Thanks in advance.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? MI

My husband and I are trying to plan for what would happen to our children in the event of our deaths. We are concerned with what would happen with my older son who is 12. He is not my husband's biological child, but has been his "dad" since ds was 2 years old. When ds was 2, I moved from another state to MI, where my then fiance lived. We've now lived here nearly 10 years. My ds's biological father has a very minimal role in his life. He speaks to him a few times a year and only sees him when we go back for family functions as my family is still in the other state. We are concerned that should something happen to me, my husband may have no rights to our ds. We have heard of situations similar to and exactly like ours where the biological parent, though a virtual stranger to the child, ends up winning custody. I would really like to know that in that circumstance, my kids could grow up together and our family would stay intact. What course of action should we take? Would an adoption be necessary to ensure that he stays with my husband? Thanks in advance.

My response:

This same or similar question has been asked, perhaps, 50 or more times on these forums. We have a search function. Please use it.

IAAL

 

[shellnotalawyer]

Excuse me, I am new to these boards, but I have been viewing other threads where I have seen your replies numerous times. I have concluded that this may not be the appropriate forum for you to be responding in. It involves matters of the heart: children, families. From what I have read from you, you are a short-tempered, hateful, nasty person. I was so hoping you would not reply to this thread and how ironic that you were the first. Would anyone else please care to respond. I am looking for serious, helpful replies only. Thank you again.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Excuse me, I am new to these boards, but I have been viewing other threads where I have seen your replies numerous times. I have concluded that this may not be the appropriate forum for you to be responding in. It involves matters of the heart: children, families. From what I have read from you, you are a short-tempered, hateful, nasty person. I was so hoping you would not reply to this thread and how ironic that you were the first. Would anyone else please care to respond. I am looking for serious, helpful replies only. Thank you again.

My response:

You may have noticed that no one else has responded to you. Want to know why?

It's because this same or similar question has been asked, perhaps, 50 or more times on these forums. We have a search function. Please use it.

By the way - - we don't do "matters of the heart". We do law. If you want to discuss "matters of the heart", go to DearAbby.com.

IAAL

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? MI

My husband and I are trying to plan for what would happen to our children in the event of our deaths. We are concerned with what would happen with my older son who is 12. He is not my husband's biological child, but has been his "dad" since ds was 2 years old. When ds was 2, I moved from another state to MI, where my then fiance lived. We've now lived here nearly 10 years. My ds's biological father has a very minimal role in his life. He speaks to him a few times a year and only sees him when we go back for family functions as my family is still in the other state. We are concerned that should something happen to me, my husband may have no rights to our ds. We have heard of situations similar to and exactly like ours where the biological parent, though a virtual stranger to the child, ends up winning custody. I would really like to know that in that circumstance, my kids could grow up together and our family would stay intact. What course of action should we take? Would an adoption be necessary to ensure that he stays with my husband? Thanks in advance.

Unless you file in court for your husband to adopt your child- and win terminating the biological father's parental rights- then if you should die, the biological father would have the right to get custody.

 

[shellnotalawyer]

You may want to know that I have "used the search function" and after searching the 209 threads that came up, I have yet to find one that is anything more than "similar" to mine. I guess I thought this site was here to help people. I don't understand why you are always so hostile in your responses. I read one thread where you accused seemingly decent people of being trailer trash because their daughter had fallen on the wrong side of the law. That disgusts me. Oh, if we all could be up on that pedestal with you, what a wonderful world. I tend to think you are compensating for some unmentioned insecurity by flexing your attitude muscle on a website forum where you are anonymous and can be as nasty as can be and suffer no repercussions. I picture you as a skinny, short, balding person who can't find a date and has nothing better to do than post 35,000 times on a website where desperate people come for help and instead encounter your vile behavior. Now please leave me alone and let someone else try to help me. I am only looking for a little information. I am far from desperate and this is just the first place I've looked. I have resources to retain an attorney, I just wondered if that was necessary at this stage. I really do not desire to spend another day perusing threads about situations that are nothing like ours only to end up where I started...

 

[shellnotalawyer]

Casa,
Thank you. This is exactly what I needed to know. Short and direct. Thanks.

 

[Heather2]

You may want to know that I have "used the search function" and after searching the 209 threads that came up, I have yet to find one that is anything more than "similar" to mine. I guess I thought this site was here to help people. I don't understand why you are always so hostile in your responses. I read one thread where you accused seemingly decent people of being trailer trash because their daughter had fallen on the wrong side of the law. That disgusts me. Oh, if we all could be up on that pedestal with you, what a wonderful world. I tend to think you are compensating for some unmentioned insecurity by flexing your attitude muscle on a website forum where you are anonymous and can be as nasty as can be and suffer no repercussions. I picture you as a skinny, short, balding person who can't find a date and has nothing better to do than post 35,000 times on a website where desperate people come for help and instead encounter your vile behavior. Now please leave me alone and let someone else try to help me. I am only looking for a little information. I am far from desperate and this is just the first place I've looked. I have resources to retain an attorney, I just wondered if that was necessary at this stage. I really do not desire to spend another day perusing threads about situations that are nothing like ours only to end up where I started...

Sweetie, don't waste your breath on him.........

 

[shellnotalawyer]

Sweetie, don't waste your breath on him.........

Lol! That's funny, I was just thinking how mad I am at myself for lowering to his level. I'm done now. Thanks.

 

[Heather2]

Lol! That's funny, I was just thinking how mad I am at myself for lowering to his level. I'm done now. Thanks.

Don't feel bad, I fall for it all the time.